The Love Dress

[Ash]

The Love Dress

A lady stopped unexpectedly by her recently married son's house.
She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law
standing naked by the door.
"What are you doing," she asked.
"I am waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law
replied.
"Why are you naked," asked the mother-in-law,
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law replied.
"LOVE DRESS! You're naked," said the mother-in-law.
"But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It makes him happy and he
makes me happy," said the daughter-in-law. "He will be home any minute now,
so perhaps you could stop by a little later?".
Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother- in-law left.
On the way home, she thought about the "LOVE DRESS" and got an idea.
She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume,
and waited by the door for her husband to come home.
Finally, his pickup truck drove up the drive way. Her husband opened the
door,
and immediately saw his naked wife.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she said, excitedly. "Needs ironing," he replied.

[SmithEagle]

Hasnt this joke been on the BBS before?
I know it, and im sure i got it from here!
Still funny though http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/biggrin.gif

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NEVER A PENALTY
3 given, 2 scored
1 was a penalty, 2 were dives! blooming cheats!

[Dodger]

One spring day, a fish was swimming about a foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly hovering just out of striking distance. The fish said to itself, If that fly comes six inches closer, I’ll jump up and have myself a meal. Just then, a bear on the shore of the lake looked up and said to itself, If that fly gets any closer to that fish, the fish will jump up, and I’ll catch the fish and have myself a meal. As luck would have it, a hunter saw what was happening. He thought to himself, If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab he fish, and I’ll shoot the bear. Just then, a rat was standing behind the hunter saying to itself, If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, the hunter will lean over to shoot the bear, and I’ll grab the sandwich from the back pocket of the hunter. However, unbeknownst to the rat, a cat was observing everything and thinking, If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will grab the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, the rat will grab the sandwich, and I’ll snatch the rat. At that very moment, the fly dropped a few inches, the fish grabbed the fly, the bear grabbed the fish, the hunter shot the bear, the rat grabbed the sandwich, the cat jumped, missed the rat and landed in the lake. And the moral of the story? A lot has to happen before the pussy gets wet.

[Dario]

BRAVO !

[James Verrinder]

A farmer was having great rouble trying to get his prize bull to stud. All it wanted to do all day was eat and sleep. After a while the farmer visited the vet to explain the problem. "Well, I don't really know what to say but perhaps if you were to actually get the scent of the cow and smear it across the bulls nose, he might develop a taste for it" suf=ggested th evet. So the farmer went back home, put on his toughest marigold glove and marched out into the cow field. He crept up behind a cow and quickly flicked her bean (so to speak). He then dashed over to the bull and smeared to gooey mess all over its nose.In a flash the bulls face lit up and it charged across the field towards the cows and rumped away like there was no tomorrow. The farmer was quite amazed when he was thinking about this later that evening and decided that he would try it on his wife to liven things up in their marriage. While she was sleeping, he reached between her legs, rubbed around a bit and wiped it across his nose.As if by magic, he was ready for action and jumped on top of her.She screamed loudly at him,"What?whats wrong?" he asked."You" she screamed back,"dont you wake me up just cos you've got a nosebleed!"


dedicated to Chocky http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/moo.gif