Les Butler
20-04-2000, 08:20 PM
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
Of Cows and Politics!
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and
puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by
ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government
took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and
as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take
care of them, and sells you the milk.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of
them, and you all share the milk.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
SOVIET COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but
the government takes all the milk.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots
you.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for
keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
MILITARISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the
milk.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone
to tell you who gets the milk.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you
vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for
speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheep brains and they
go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you
can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk
them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the
milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for
the missing cows.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or
your neighbours try to kill you and take the cows.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your
publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with
associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are
transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all
seven cows' milk back tothe listed company. The annual report says that
the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you
kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking
or killing them.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies
they ever existed. Milk is banned.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership"
is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war-mongering, intolerant past) two
differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of
non-specified gender.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got
to have some of this milk.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
NEOREALISM: You have two cows. You don't bother milking them as that is a
unit level effect.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
NEW LABOUR: Tough on cows, Tough on the causes of cows.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
Of Cows and Politics!
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and
puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by
ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government
took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and
as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take
care of them, and sells you the milk.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of
them, and you all share the milk.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
SOVIET COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but
the government takes all the milk.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots
you.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for
keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
MILITARISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the
milk.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone
to tell you who gets the milk.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you
vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for
speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheep brains and they
go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you
can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk
them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the
milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for
the missing cows.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or
your neighbours try to kill you and take the cows.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your
publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with
associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are
transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all
seven cows' milk back tothe listed company. The annual report says that
the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you
kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking
or killing them.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies
they ever existed. Milk is banned.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership"
is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war-mongering, intolerant past) two
differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of
non-specified gender.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got
to have some of this milk.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
NEOREALISM: You have two cows. You don't bother milking them as that is a
unit level effect.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
NEW LABOUR: Tough on cows, Tough on the causes of cows.
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cow1.gif