eagle mart
31-05-2000, 08:54 PM
I'm a Flamingo... ARSE
Which animal are you? Which animal does your
birthday fall under?
December 23 to January 1 Goat
January 2 to January 11 Lion
January 12 to January 24 Ostrich
January 25 to February 3 Bear
February 4 to February 8 Monkey
February 9 to February 18 Badger
February 19 to February 28 Frog
March 1 to March 10 Fox
March 11 to March 20 Magpie
March 21
Warthog
March 22 to March 31 Hyena
April 1 to April 10
Chimpanzee
April 11 to April 20 Rat
April 21 to April 30 Crow
May 1 to May 14 Monkey
May 15 to May 24 Giraffe
May 25 to June 3 Ferret
June 4 to June 13 Sloth
June 14 to June 23
Flamingo
June 24
Raccoon
June 25 to July 4 Dog
July 5 to July 14 Lion
July 15 to July 25 Ostrich
July 26 to August 4 Bear
August 5 to August 13 Monkey
August 14 to August 23 Salmon
August 24 to September 2 Frog
September 3 to September 12 Badger
September 13 to September 22 Magpie
September 23
Elephant
September 24 to October 3 Hyena
October 4 to October 13
Chimpanzee
October 14 to October 23 Rat
October 24 to November 11 Crow
November 12 to November 21 Giraffe
November 22 to December 1 Ferret
December 2 to December 11 Sloth
December 12 to December 21 Flamingo
December 22 Duck
Billed Platypus
Goat
The Goat, Rock steady in all situations, firm
on its feet, sure and strong,
bold and daring. However when used as a
metaphor for people like yourself,
we must look beyond these qualities to the
goats true nature. The *******
child of Satan. Close relative to the sheep,
who we all know has no mind of
its own, and follows anyone anywhere. Goats
stink, so do you. Its got a
manky beard, which is especially true of the
females...isn't time you
thought about electrolysis??
Lion
The Lion, king of the beasts, noble and wise.
Real lions are anyway. You
however are like the inbred lion, who's looks
are past their best, you'll
do anything to survive including eating your
own cubs, or in your case,
stealing from your own mother. Like the inbred
lion you are destined to
wander lonely forever through the plains of
life until a hyena comes along
and devours your shell of a carcass.
Ostrich
The Ostrich, Fast, Nimble, Quick. In nature.
Metaphorically, compared to
people like you, they are slow, stupid, their
eyes are bigger than their
brains and are cowardly *******s. You have a
tendency to be not so quick on
the uptake in most situations. Romantically you
are stupid, your eyes see an
ugly m'****a, but your brain cries beauty. At
the first sign of trouble,
you'll pack your bags and leggit back to your
mothers place.
Bear
Fearless Brave and dignified are things you
might associate with bears. But
there's no way in hell they'd be associated
with you. No, the things you
have in common with the bear are that you smell
like you've had **** stuck
to you for four months, your hair looks like
you've been in the forest for
thirty odd years, and your breath smells of
fish.
Monkey
Playful, cheeky and inquisitive. In the worst
possible ways. You play stupid
practical jokes, you're a bit of a smart ass,
and you stick your nose into
other people's business where its obviously not
wanted. As well as that you
have a tendency to play with your genitals far
too much, so cut it out or
you'll go blind.
Badger
Resourceful, loyal and well, small black, white
and tinking. You, like the
badger, spend most of your time hanging around
dark holes, looking for the
slugs of the social strata. You're also a bit
of a vicious ******, not
giving up until you've suitably destroyed your
opponent (like the badger and
is "I'm not letting go till your leg breaks you
dick" attitude)
Frog
Amphibious (Adaptive), Small, and warty. Yup,
you're a small warty runt of a
creature. Your eyes bulge out of your head, and
people avoid you like the
plague for fear of catching some sort of ugly
disease from you.
Fox
What can one say about the fox. You're nothing
but a sneaky little *******,
who spends most of his time either sleazing
around bitches (or vice versa
for the females), thieving stuff, and scheming
constantly. You also whine a
lot, you're as skinny as heck, and you're
hungry most of the time.
Magpie
Ahhh Magpies, the veritable dirty thieving
knacker of the sky. You've no
morals, anything that glisters is most
certainly gold in your eyes, and
definitely worth a fiver down the local market,
so in your pocket it shall
jolly well go. You're also a superstitious
creature. Prone to avoiding
ladders and such, because lets be honest,
you're a bit of stupid ****.
Warthog
**** Ugly. Nothing much else to say about you
lot.
Hyena
Hyenas, laughing all the time. Because their
stupid as ****. If someone
kicked you on the arse you'd probably pass out
in a laughing fit. You're a
bit of a pack animal too, spending a lot of
your time hanging round with
your equally stupid mates, and are well known
for coming up with such
wonderful phrases as "look at that guy, he's
wearing socks with his shoes,
he must be gay" and rolling around laughing at
your cleverness for hours. In
the office you're the type of person that
everyone hates. You send people
stuff like this constantly thinking its
hilarious when its really just a
pain in the ass. Do us all a favour and ****
off and die.
Chimpanzee
Chimpanzees are nothing but exhibitionists.
Especially of their bare asses.
You're the type of person who wanders around
beaches in the summer,
practically naked, bar one or two pieces of
string covering your genitals.
You think you look great, when in fact your
cellulite is clearly showing,
and your fake tan is starting to run down your
legs with the amount of sweat
that's pouring off you.
Rat
Small, furry and loathed by all. You are the
annoying type. Who, are no less
than five meters away from your new found
friends no matter where they go.
You try much too hard to be popular, going
everywhere you can, and leaving
signatures of your presence. You think you're
well cool, when in fact nobody
is actually friends with you, yet you know
everyone. More people see you and
tolerate you for a while, then they put out the
poison.
Crow
You are the type who sings at parties, tries
their hand at karaoke,and loves
to hum round the building site / office. You
think this is great and that
everyone loves your voice. You are in fact
****. Your singing talents are
equivalent to that of a real crow. To top it
all off, you've no sense of
fashion either.
Giraffe
Tall, sleek and gracious. In the wild maybe,
but in human terms you're a
lanky awkward hoor. Getting in everyone's way,
constantly hurting people by
mistake, and generally making an ass of
yourself in public.
Ferret
Like the rat you are small and furry, but the
thing about you is instead of
trying to make friends, all you do is make
enemies. No one likes you, you're
a malevolent *******, who'll stop at nothing to
harm others. As well as that
you're a smelly *******, who really should wash
now and then.
Sloth
Bone idle. That's all you are. Good for
nothing. No redeeming features at
all.
Flamingo
Ahhh, the pink flamingo. In male terms the
gayest of all
creatures.You are extremely camp. You are prone
to mincing around the place
constantly, your voice is unusual, and you have
abhorrent tastes in music.
Look at the way you're sitting right now! Its
so gay! For the females,
Flamingoes are vain creatures, you're
constantly looking at yourself in the
mirror, and that spot on your left cheek just
won't go away will it?? God it
makes you look ugly.
Raccoon
Creatures of the forest. Scavengers by nature.
Which is what you are, you're
a mean *******, never buy rounds when you're
out drinking, you'd rather save
money than spend it, and you go through
dumpsters looking for old stuff
people have thrown out for your ratty abode.
Dog
Loyal, friendly and disgusting. You'd give your
right arm to be able to lick
your own arse, you'll eat anything put in front
of you, and you'll do
anything your mates tell you. Plus you've
probably got a hairy back, and you
smell like a ****in walrus during the summer.
Salmon
Salmon are sleek, silver, fast and athletic.
You're not. You're stupid, your
house stinks and you look like a fish.
Elephant
The elephant never forgets or so they say. You
wish you could,cause you're
fat, everyone insults you and when you're old,
you're destined to become a
wrinkly wizened old bugger.
Duck Billed Platypus
A rare creature. You like the platypus, are
awkward, goofy looking and spend
most of your life hiding your stupid features.
Which animal are you? Which animal does your
birthday fall under?
December 23 to January 1 Goat
January 2 to January 11 Lion
January 12 to January 24 Ostrich
January 25 to February 3 Bear
February 4 to February 8 Monkey
February 9 to February 18 Badger
February 19 to February 28 Frog
March 1 to March 10 Fox
March 11 to March 20 Magpie
March 21
Warthog
March 22 to March 31 Hyena
April 1 to April 10
Chimpanzee
April 11 to April 20 Rat
April 21 to April 30 Crow
May 1 to May 14 Monkey
May 15 to May 24 Giraffe
May 25 to June 3 Ferret
June 4 to June 13 Sloth
June 14 to June 23
Flamingo
June 24
Raccoon
June 25 to July 4 Dog
July 5 to July 14 Lion
July 15 to July 25 Ostrich
July 26 to August 4 Bear
August 5 to August 13 Monkey
August 14 to August 23 Salmon
August 24 to September 2 Frog
September 3 to September 12 Badger
September 13 to September 22 Magpie
September 23
Elephant
September 24 to October 3 Hyena
October 4 to October 13
Chimpanzee
October 14 to October 23 Rat
October 24 to November 11 Crow
November 12 to November 21 Giraffe
November 22 to December 1 Ferret
December 2 to December 11 Sloth
December 12 to December 21 Flamingo
December 22 Duck
Billed Platypus
Goat
The Goat, Rock steady in all situations, firm
on its feet, sure and strong,
bold and daring. However when used as a
metaphor for people like yourself,
we must look beyond these qualities to the
goats true nature. The *******
child of Satan. Close relative to the sheep,
who we all know has no mind of
its own, and follows anyone anywhere. Goats
stink, so do you. Its got a
manky beard, which is especially true of the
females...isn't time you
thought about electrolysis??
Lion
The Lion, king of the beasts, noble and wise.
Real lions are anyway. You
however are like the inbred lion, who's looks
are past their best, you'll
do anything to survive including eating your
own cubs, or in your case,
stealing from your own mother. Like the inbred
lion you are destined to
wander lonely forever through the plains of
life until a hyena comes along
and devours your shell of a carcass.
Ostrich
The Ostrich, Fast, Nimble, Quick. In nature.
Metaphorically, compared to
people like you, they are slow, stupid, their
eyes are bigger than their
brains and are cowardly *******s. You have a
tendency to be not so quick on
the uptake in most situations. Romantically you
are stupid, your eyes see an
ugly m'****a, but your brain cries beauty. At
the first sign of trouble,
you'll pack your bags and leggit back to your
mothers place.
Bear
Fearless Brave and dignified are things you
might associate with bears. But
there's no way in hell they'd be associated
with you. No, the things you
have in common with the bear are that you smell
like you've had **** stuck
to you for four months, your hair looks like
you've been in the forest for
thirty odd years, and your breath smells of
fish.
Monkey
Playful, cheeky and inquisitive. In the worst
possible ways. You play stupid
practical jokes, you're a bit of a smart ass,
and you stick your nose into
other people's business where its obviously not
wanted. As well as that you
have a tendency to play with your genitals far
too much, so cut it out or
you'll go blind.
Badger
Resourceful, loyal and well, small black, white
and tinking. You, like the
badger, spend most of your time hanging around
dark holes, looking for the
slugs of the social strata. You're also a bit
of a vicious ******, not
giving up until you've suitably destroyed your
opponent (like the badger and
is "I'm not letting go till your leg breaks you
dick" attitude)
Frog
Amphibious (Adaptive), Small, and warty. Yup,
you're a small warty runt of a
creature. Your eyes bulge out of your head, and
people avoid you like the
plague for fear of catching some sort of ugly
disease from you.
Fox
What can one say about the fox. You're nothing
but a sneaky little *******,
who spends most of his time either sleazing
around bitches (or vice versa
for the females), thieving stuff, and scheming
constantly. You also whine a
lot, you're as skinny as heck, and you're
hungry most of the time.
Magpie
Ahhh Magpies, the veritable dirty thieving
knacker of the sky. You've no
morals, anything that glisters is most
certainly gold in your eyes, and
definitely worth a fiver down the local market,
so in your pocket it shall
jolly well go. You're also a superstitious
creature. Prone to avoiding
ladders and such, because lets be honest,
you're a bit of stupid ****.
Warthog
**** Ugly. Nothing much else to say about you
lot.
Hyena
Hyenas, laughing all the time. Because their
stupid as ****. If someone
kicked you on the arse you'd probably pass out
in a laughing fit. You're a
bit of a pack animal too, spending a lot of
your time hanging round with
your equally stupid mates, and are well known
for coming up with such
wonderful phrases as "look at that guy, he's
wearing socks with his shoes,
he must be gay" and rolling around laughing at
your cleverness for hours. In
the office you're the type of person that
everyone hates. You send people
stuff like this constantly thinking its
hilarious when its really just a
pain in the ass. Do us all a favour and ****
off and die.
Chimpanzee
Chimpanzees are nothing but exhibitionists.
Especially of their bare asses.
You're the type of person who wanders around
beaches in the summer,
practically naked, bar one or two pieces of
string covering your genitals.
You think you look great, when in fact your
cellulite is clearly showing,
and your fake tan is starting to run down your
legs with the amount of sweat
that's pouring off you.
Rat
Small, furry and loathed by all. You are the
annoying type. Who, are no less
than five meters away from your new found
friends no matter where they go.
You try much too hard to be popular, going
everywhere you can, and leaving
signatures of your presence. You think you're
well cool, when in fact nobody
is actually friends with you, yet you know
everyone. More people see you and
tolerate you for a while, then they put out the
poison.
Crow
You are the type who sings at parties, tries
their hand at karaoke,and loves
to hum round the building site / office. You
think this is great and that
everyone loves your voice. You are in fact
****. Your singing talents are
equivalent to that of a real crow. To top it
all off, you've no sense of
fashion either.
Giraffe
Tall, sleek and gracious. In the wild maybe,
but in human terms you're a
lanky awkward hoor. Getting in everyone's way,
constantly hurting people by
mistake, and generally making an ass of
yourself in public.
Ferret
Like the rat you are small and furry, but the
thing about you is instead of
trying to make friends, all you do is make
enemies. No one likes you, you're
a malevolent *******, who'll stop at nothing to
harm others. As well as that
you're a smelly *******, who really should wash
now and then.
Sloth
Bone idle. That's all you are. Good for
nothing. No redeeming features at
all.
Flamingo
Ahhh, the pink flamingo. In male terms the
gayest of all
creatures.You are extremely camp. You are prone
to mincing around the place
constantly, your voice is unusual, and you have
abhorrent tastes in music.
Look at the way you're sitting right now! Its
so gay! For the females,
Flamingoes are vain creatures, you're
constantly looking at yourself in the
mirror, and that spot on your left cheek just
won't go away will it?? God it
makes you look ugly.
Raccoon
Creatures of the forest. Scavengers by nature.
Which is what you are, you're
a mean *******, never buy rounds when you're
out drinking, you'd rather save
money than spend it, and you go through
dumpsters looking for old stuff
people have thrown out for your ratty abode.
Dog
Loyal, friendly and disgusting. You'd give your
right arm to be able to lick
your own arse, you'll eat anything put in front
of you, and you'll do
anything your mates tell you. Plus you've
probably got a hairy back, and you
smell like a ****in walrus during the summer.
Salmon
Salmon are sleek, silver, fast and athletic.
You're not. You're stupid, your
house stinks and you look like a fish.
Elephant
The elephant never forgets or so they say. You
wish you could,cause you're
fat, everyone insults you and when you're old,
you're destined to become a
wrinkly wizened old bugger.
Duck Billed Platypus
A rare creature. You like the platypus, are
awkward, goofy looking and spend
most of your life hiding your stupid features.