Let's talk b*llocks all day

[Ash]

Free Beer and fags in here.

[Kevin T]

Anyone wanna swap my fags for an extra beer?

[Tra]

Great!! Where are you then?

[GUCCI Eagle]

tee hee quod she!!

[Ash]

The offer is only open to those that bring Beaver.

[Kevin T]

Hang on - just going to get Sweetpea!

[David Murray]

Ingredients

2 cups chopped apples
1 1/2 lemons, juiced
1/4 cup chopped celery
1/4 cup chopped walnuts
1/4 cup raisins
1/4 cup seedless grapes, halved
1/2 cup heavy cream, whipped
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1 pinch ground nutmeg


Directions
1 In a large bowl, toss together the apples and lemon juice. Stir in the celery, nuts, raisins and grapes.
2 Fold together the whipped cream and mayonnaise; add to salad and mix well.
3 Sprinkle with nutmeg and chill before serving.

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Ash:
The offer is only open to those that bring Beaver.

I haven't got any Beaver. Got a nice bit of Squid though, will that do?

[David Murray]

http://blackdog.net/images/friends/billyb.gif The Beaver Scout Promise
I promise to do my best
to be kind and helpful
and to love God.

The Beaver Scout Motto

[This message has been edited by David Murray (edited 30 November 2000).]

[Kevin T]

I just want to say "mutton shutters". It was on another thread and is my adopted saying of the week.

[Ash]

Originally posted by David Murray:
Ingredients

2 cups chopped apples
1 1/2 lemons, juiced
1/4 cup chopped celery
1/4 cup chopped walnuts
1/4 cup raisins
1/4 cup seedless grapes, halved
1/2 cup heavy cream, whipped
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1 pinch ground nutmeg


Directions
1 In a large bowl, toss together the apples and lemon juice. Stir in the celery, nuts, raisins and grapes.
2 Fold together the whipped cream and mayonnaise; add to salad and mix well.
3 Sprinkle with nutmeg and chill before serving.

Sorry Sir, we're fresh out of Waldorfs.

[Nobby]

Has anyone seen my niblick?

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Kevin T:
I just want to say "mutton shutters". It was on another thread and is my adopted saying of the week.

Oi!! That one is MINE!!!

Good one though eh??

[Dodgy Ken]

What can I get for this beaver?

Its a nice runner, 1 lady owner, full service history

[David Murray]

http://www.scoutbase.org.uk/library/books/history/beavers/images/bea-bsb.gif

[Ash]

David has a beer and a cigarette.

http://www.conservation.state.mo.us/nathis/mammals/beaver/beaver3.gif

As do I. Although adjudicator Kevin T is making sure the cigarette remains unlit.

[David Murray]

2 large heads garlic
1/4 cup dry vermouth
3 1/2 tablespoons plus 1/3 cup olive oil
2 1/4 teaspoons minced fresh rosemary
3 cups 1-inch French bread cubes
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon anchovy paste
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
Dash of hot pepper sauce (such as Tabasco)
1 head curly endive, trimmed
1 large head romaine lettuce, torn into pieces

[David Murray]

Originally posted by Dodgy Ken:
What can I get for this beaver?

Its a nice runner, 1 lady owner, full service history

Milage ??

[Ash]

Originally posted by Dodgy Ken:
What can I get for this beaver?

Its a nice runner, 1 lady owner, full service history

Half a shandy.

[David Murray]

http://www.lab.fws.gov/presentations/lab/img020.JPG

[Ash]

Originally posted by Kevin T:
I just want to say "mutton shutters".

Why not ? I'll fight to the death for your right to do so. Even though I may not agree with you. Although I do actually agree 100%.

[David Murray]

NiPpLeS

[GUCCI Eagle]

I can get hold of a nice pair of brown nosed pups as well if anyone is interested?

"Get yer squid out luv I want to smell it for freshness"

[Matty]

Murry (a) - Salad Boy!!

DIB DIB DIB

[Ash]

Originally posted by David Murray:
NiPpLeS

I can't quite reach from here.

[GUCCI Eagle]

Mutton Shutters or Spaniels Ears, I can bring either.

[Matty]

http://www.pinetreeweb.com/bp-scouting-for-boys.htm

[Sweetpea!]

Originally posted by Kevin T:
Hang on - just going to get Sweetpea!

Kevin!

[David Murray]

Two sugar lumps

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Matty:
http://www.pinetreeweb.com/bp-scouting-for-boys.htm

Are you Jonathan King?

Seriously?
Seriously?

[David Murray]

Originally posted by Sweetpea!:
Kevin!

I think he has gone to look for you Sweetpea - stay where you are !

[Ash]

Mr T now has a pint of his favourite Stella. He can also have the other half od Dodgy Ken's shandy instead of a cigarette. Well done Kev ! Nice Beaver by the way !

[David Murray]

Originally posted by GUCCI Eagle:
Are you Jonathan King?

Seriously?
Seriously?

LMFHO

[Matty]

Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps please

[David Murray]

One wooden ironing board

[Ash]

Originally posted by Matty:
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps please

But you have no Beaver sir.

[GUCCI Eagle]

What does LMFHO mean?

[This message has been edited by GUCCI Eagle (edited 30 November 2000).]

[This message has been edited by GUCCI Eagle (edited 30 November 2000).]

[paf]

free fags and beer? yes please !

[David Murray]

Originally posted by GUCCI Eagle:
What does LMHFO mean?



Laughing my head Flipping(??) off !!!!!!

[This message has been edited by David Murray (edited 30 November 2000).]

[Ash]

Originally posted by GUCCI Eagle:
What does LMHFO mean?

[This message has been edited by GUCCI Eagle (edited 30 November 2000).]

Please leave the room, and don't come back until you've washed your mouth out with Waldorf Salad.

[GUCCI Eagle]

I refuse to be disparaged for getting an anagram wrong.

[David Murray]

Seven and sixpence would be like having three half crowns

[Ash]

Originally posted by paf:
free fags and beer? yes please !

Seeing as Kev T's have gone unclaimed you can have his. In return for half a Beaver.

[Les Butler]

I remember one day I was at Grandads house and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling you what sex is, why don't we go out to the gardan shed and I'll show you." So we did, and there in the shed were my parents having sex.

[paf]

half a beaver? okay, I'll chainsaw a secretary in half and fed-ex it over.

[David Murray]

Originally posted by Ash:
In return for half a Beaver.

And what half would that be ASH, bearing in mind they like nuts ?

[Ash]

Originally posted by GUCCI Eagle:
I refuse to be disparaged for getting an anagram wrong.

Please refrain from not talking B*llocks in here. Consider that a yellow. http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/wink.gif

[GUCCI Eagle]

If you'll move about 2 inches, I can bring a Starfish

[Ash]

Originally posted by Les Butler:
I remember one day I was at Grandads house and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling you what sex is, why don't we go out to the gardan shed and I'll show you." So we did, and there in the shed were my parents having sex.

Ah. Good old gramps.

[David Murray]

Speaking of yellow, I tried finding half a beaver for you mate but this was the best I could do 0 - Any good ?

http://www.geocities.com/woodystuff/pics/job.jpg

[Ash]

Originally posted by David Murray:
And what half would that be ASH, bearing in mind they like nuts ?

What sort of man do you think me to be ? I refuse to go around dictating which half of a Beaver paf should want to escort him.

[David Murray]

Originally posted by Les Butler:
I remember one day I was at Grandads house and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling you what sex is, why don't we go out to the gardan shed and I'll show you." So we did, and there in the shed were my parents having sex.

Was this before or after you were born Les?

[Blind_Eagle]

Originally posted by Ash:
Please refrain from not talking B*llocks in here. Consider that a yellow. http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/wink.gif

But it was bollox Ash, he should have said acronym http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/wink.gif

BTW watch out for splinters with them pesky beavers

[Kevin T]

Can't have my beer just yet - going on a little mission now. Would tell you, but would have to kill you. Paf, will be phoning you within minutes. You don't know that yet.

[paf]

I like well trimmed Beaver too.......

[Ash]

Excellent David. Have a Castella.

[David Murray]

Originally posted by Blind_Eagle:
BTW watch out for splinters with them pesky beavers



Those are hedgehogs Blind, what are you, Blind or something?

[GUCCI Eagle]

Dennis Taylor had the right glasses for eating a Beaver while looking at a bird in the face. Can I get off my yellow now?

[Ash]

GUCCI you just bought yourself a night in the slammer. I hope you like Corned Beef ?

[PalaceFan in Alabama]

Originally posted by David Murray:
Speaking of yellow, I tried finding half a beaver for you mate but this was the best I could do 0 - Any good ?

http://www.geocities.com/woodystuff/pics/job.jpg

Leave the Roadkill alone, I have distribution rights on all Roadkill.

[Blind_Eagle]

Originally posted by paf:
I like well trimmed Beaver too.......

Just for you paf, I managed to persuade this little trimmed and dressed beaver to pose just for you

http://www.castafiore.com/figaro3.jpg

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Ash:
GUCCI you just bought yourself a night in the slammer. I hope you like Corned Beef ?

Is that like eating some beaver during the Pedigree Chum PERIOD? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[Les Butler]

I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF!

[Les Butler]

http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cartoons/analin.jpg

[paf]

Originally posted by Blind_Eagle:
Just for you paf, I managed to persuade this little trimmed and dressed beaver to pose just for you



Are you sure that's a Beaver???? You wouldn't be trying to pull the old 'shaved poodle disguised as a beaver' trick would you?

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by paf:
Are you sure that's a Beaver???? You wouldn't be trying to pull the old 'shaved poodle disguised as a beaver' trick would you?



Mistaking a Poodle for a Beaver. As bad as pulling the Bird with an Adams Apple.

[David Murray]

Originally posted by Les Butler:
http://www.geocities.com/les_butler58/cartoons/analin.jpg

I guess he passed his exams then !
http://www.geocities.com/woodystuff/pics/analexam.jpg

[Blind_Eagle]

Originally posted by paf:
Are you sure that's a Beaver???? You wouldn't be trying to pull the old 'shaved poodle disguised as a beaver' trick would you?



The guy at the opticians assured me it was a well trimmed beaver when I rented it for the hour.

It may not look like beaver, but it sure as hell tastes and smells like one. Or so I am told being both myopic and new to this game

[Psychokiller]

Oh poo! That f##king pest Miriam Stoppard has been nibbling at my best armchair again!

The gentle insertion of a piece of shortbread up the nose will deal with her!

[GUCCI Eagle]

So you ate from the hairy plate without being sure?

[Ash]

Kevin T is a shining example of how to maintain a healthy, loving long-term relationship. And I could drink him under the table anytime.

[Psychokiller]

Yeah, but that's nothing to smash the vinegar bottle about!

[Les Butler]

This needs a come back(soundcard needed) http://www.gibbleguts.com/fartingdog/fartingdogs.html
It's all farts.......

[GUCCI Eagle]

Can someone ask Sweetpea if her Spaniel's ears are hairy.

[Blind_Eagle]

Originally posted by GUCCI Eagle:
Can someone ask Sweetpea if her Spaniel's ears are hairy.

And if she has Irish Water Spaniel ears do they have a nice tight top knot just above them?

[wombat]

Badgers earlobes, otters spleens, wolf nibble chips, get them while they're hot they're luuuuuuuurverly

[Blind_Eagle]

Oi Wombat, I am the only person on here who admits to eating the local wildlife!

[wombat]

Wombats bits, suckit while its stiff its lovely!

[This message has been edited by wombat (edited 30 November 2000).]

[Ash]

Gonads.

[Psychokiller]

This thread had got much too Yootha Joyce. I'm surprised the moderators haven't seasoned it with wallpaper paste!

And this obsession with hatstand animals is getting beyond a quotation! You lot seriously need to sandpaper your tongues!

[GUCCI Eagle]

Look luv, thats about as useful as a chocolate fire exit.

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Blind_Eagle:
And if she has Irish Water Spaniel ears do they have a nice tight top knot just above them?

And is there a golden shower thing going on with that name? S W E E T P E A ooooohhhh.

[wombat]

look, if I am not a marsupial then I am a rhinbideesaurus. I will not be denied the right that my kind have aquired sonce romulus and remus were playing for roma.

BTW Kev likes men that smell good!

[paf]

head on over to......
http://www.hatsofmeat.com

[wombat]

come on down to wimpey.
yes i'll have a big bender please
he he he he special sauce with that?

F e c k off you prawn sarnie

wibble wibble chick

[Psychokiller]

That has got to go down as one of the most politically incorrect websites I've seen in my life!

Do you really think the Cambodians wanted their children's pets exploited like that??

I expect that sort of behaviour from Frickley fans, not Palace! Imagine what Matthew Gregg or Richard Howell would think if they saw it? I don't think they would ever want to play for us again!

Think before posting such dangerous bull5h1t!

[GUCCI Eagle]

I've got so excited by this thread, I just arranged a date. I'm gonna be B*loody RABID!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH!!!!

Don't go sharing those brown nosed pups with anyone else but me no no no no no no!

[This message has been edited by TAK (edited 01 December 2000).]

[Statto]

Complete Bollox:

Charlton will stay up!!!!

HA HA HA HA!

------------------
Troo slum king (shutup Rob- you penis)

[David Murray]

Forty four toothpicks Ok

[Statto]

Ghetto

[richit]

cod stocks are low

[GUCCI Eagle]

Best quotation from last night:

"Oh my god! You ARE good"

Fantastic

[David Murray]

Wasn't Anne Robinson then !

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by David Murray:
Wasn't Anne Robinson then !

No, it was from 'The life and Times of Gucci Eagle'

I bet many a man has used old AR as stimulus, I know I have http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/wink.gif

[David Murray]

Originally posted by GUCCI Eagle:
I bet many a man has used old AR as stimulus, I know I have http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/wink.gif

WHAT ???? Alan Russell http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/frown.gif

[David Murray]

Open house in Hungary

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by David Murray:
Open house in Hungary

Latest home improvement programme on BBC 2

[Phil's Barber]

Nope!!!

[David Murray]

Sixteen and a half but well over 35 kilos!

[wombat]

check it out now fu u u u u u u u nk soul brudder dd dd dd aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa argggghhhh . I've just been asked outside by a fellow palace fan who also a yiddo
Confused?

[Ash]

Short back & sides please Phil's Barber.

[Phil's Barber]

i doesnt get any shorter than yours RUDE!!!

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Ash:
Short back & sides please Phil's Barber.

Something for the weekend sir?

[David Murray]

In a brown paper bag maybe ?

[Steve C]

Gordon Eggleton from Basingstoke is a Major PRATT. http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/mad.gifand that,s not boll**ks!!!!!!

------------------
Guten Tag!ex Basingstoke lad!

[Ash]

I dunno... me and Mr Murray each have a hair cut and then we discover the BBS has it's very own resident hairdresser !

Have you got a sporty little pink motor car outside the salon Phil's Barber ? http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/wink.gif

[Matty]

Barber of Se Phil joke

[Matty]

Originally posted by GUCCI Eagle:
Open the shutters de la moutonne it is getting dark in here.

Ou les drapeaux de boeuf

[Ash]

Originally posted by Matty:
Barber of Se Phil joke

Excellent. Allow me a small amendement - Barber of Sir Phil ?

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Matty:
Barber of Se Phil joke

Si Phili's Barber n'est pas?

[Matty]

Syphilis?

Figaro!

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Matty:
Syphilis?

Figaro!

AAAAAHHHHH Calamari.

Mmmmmmmm Squuuiiiiiiiiiiid.

Mucho bene!

[Phil's Barber]

leave my sporty pink number out off it!!.........and a period of silence on your part would be welcome!!! http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/wink.gif

[David Murray]

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !

[David Murray]

I've just made a curry you'd die for http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/smile.gif

[Ash]

Do you have a PC in your kitchen then ?

[wombat]

No, but I've got a kitchen in my PC. A bluebird a la carte kitchen no less i';ll have you know.

Dinsdale Piranha, I'll have you

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Ash:
Do you have a PC in your kitchen then ?

Why, is he having a bit of a domestic?

[Pistike]

All this talk of curry reminds me of that badly packed kebab.
Marha függöny to you squire.

[Les Butler]

If you're a cowboy, and you're dragging this bloke behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a paper.

[wombat]

Les, you must be mad. You only pull people behind horses so that you can see what paper they'd read in such a situation

[wombat]

Les, you must be mad. You only pull people behind horses so that you can see what paper they'd read in such a situation

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by wombat:
Les, you must be mad. You only pull people behind horses so that you can see what paper they'd read in such a situation

Thats the international test for boredom threshold.

[David Murray]

Especially if it is tomorrows !

[David Murray]

I don't think I've ever been PC in my kitchen !

Her indoors is outdoors somewhere buying some fish, I don't want fish so I thought I do a chicken curry, boy is she gonna be p!ssed when she gets home http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/frown.gif

[wombat]

Are you going to smear marmalade on the soft fleshy insides of her thighs, and make her sqeal and moan as you hit her on the head with a fresh apple and cinammon bagel?

I thought not

http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/eek.gif
http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/mad.gif

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by David Murray:
I don't think I've ever been PC in my kitchen !

Her indoors is outdoors somewhere buying some fish, I don't want fish so I thought I do a chicken curry, boy is she gonna be p!ssed when she gets home http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/frown.gif

Ask her if she's heard of Female Banal Skullduggery:-

"You put you left leg in, your left leg out, in out in out and shake it all about."

[TAK]

Originally posted by David Murray:

Her indoors is outdoors somewhere buying some fish, boy is she gonna be p!ssed when she gets home http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/frown.gif


Why, do they sell fish in the pub?

[wombat]

Only in the fishermans legs

[Pistike]

Soused herrings?

[wombat]

Has any one got a job for a graduate?

[TAK]

I wouldn't employ it a graduate if you paid me.

[brighton_eagle]

I wouldn't pay a graduate if you employed me.
http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/confused.gif

[This message has been edited by brighton_eagle (edited 01 December 2000).]

[wombat]

I'll pay you. Just take the horrible exstudents off my hands. They keep asking for work!

I'll give em a wok

[David Murray]

Yep, I was right, she wasn't a happy little camper when she came home. Still after all the heavy complaining she sat down and scoffed a couple of plates full of curry as well as half a dozen papadoms.

My little tummy has gotten very big during the past hour or so.

Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme

[David Murray]

I have had a haircut - I thought I would share that with you all.

[Clapham Grand]

I'm going to HMV this afternoon

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by David Murray:
WHAT ???? Alan Russell http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/frown.gif

NO ANNE ROBINSON!!!!!!

I'm going to Scarborough Fair with everyone else

[PENGE P]

Chips for tea !!!!!!!

[David Murray]

Originally posted by Clapham Grand:
I'm going to HMV this afternoon

HMV - Have My Vasectomy ?? http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/wink.gif

Good Luck, hope he has a steady knife http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/redface.gif

[wombat]

Or sharp teeth

[Pistike]

Speaking of which I broke one of my molars on a pumpkin seed last night at the Újpest Ferencváros match, seriously jeapordising my alchohol intake.
Something the truth is more bóllocks than fiction!

[Ash]

I had my haircut yesterday. it is now one week since my Final Waldorf Salad.

[TAK]

That's really odd, I just broke one of my teeth on Monday when I sneezed with my mouth open and it snapped shut. Didn't efect my drinking though.

Anyway can we get back on topic please, what was it you were saying about beaver?

[wombat]

Ride the punabeaver, drive all de girls dem barmy.

Put a saddle on the punabeaver and ride it to the photocopier

[GUCCI Eagle]

Open the shutters de la moutonne it is getting dark in here.

[Psychokiller]

Originally posted by David Murray:
was


That's it, Murray, resort to racist comments in what was a reasoned and fair debate!

[David Murray]

Litttttle willies and testicles - thats all I can type rite now !

[GUCCI Eagle]

Welsh farmer counting his sheep:

1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , alright luv? , 9 , 10...............

[Psychokiller]

Originally posted by David Murray:
and

There he goes again, more of that white supremacist filth!

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by David Murray:
curry

And what did the nice people of India ever do to you? Evil racist!

[TAK]

L'd say lets all pick on that evil racist Murray but he's going to be in London tommorow and he's bigger than me. Where's Latvian when you need him?

[Psychokiller]

It's true, he's as racist as Mark Goldberg's Tottenham Hotspur Season Ticket!

[David Murray]

You lot are even weirder than I imagined you were ! I also use the word THE alot and if you blo0dy foreigners don't like it - tough !

Just think yourselves lucky I don't use words like Pizza and Salami on a daily basis.

[This message has been edited by David Murray (edited 04 December 2000).]

[Psychokiller]

Originally posted by David Murray:
don't

Christ! And you live in a country that's FULL of foreigners!

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by David Murray:
You blo0dy Pizza !

What is wrong with you? Why all this hatred for foreigners?

[TAK]

Originally posted by David Murray:
like


Psycho, can't you see he's winding us up, no one could be really as obnoxious as that.

[Ash]

Am I a racist because I hate Formula One ?

[This message has been edited by Ash (edited 04 December 2000).]

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Ash:
I'm a racist. I hate Formula One.

Is that the stuff they put in lethal injections?

[Ash]

Originally posted by David Murray:
[This message has been edited by David Murray (edited 04 December 2000).]

Why would you do that ?

[Psychokiller]

Originally posted by TAK:

Psycho, can't you see he's winding us up, no one could be really as obnoxious as that.

He's trying to get us on his side, hence the subtle uses of 'also'.

[David Murray]

What the duck is wrong with you lot http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/frown.gif

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by David Murray:
duck is wrong

You Facist!!!

[Mat ov CPFC]

SHUT IT MURREY,

Some of my best friends are Ducks.

Moo !

[Psychokiller]

Originally posted by David Murray:
you lot

Hey! Don't take the piss out of that! I can't help it if I've got lot, both of my parents and three of my kids died from it!

You're out of order Murry(a)!

[David Murray]

Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!

[Les Butler]

If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I really hope He likes a good curry, because that's what He's getting!

[Coles]

Toast is not very tall

[TAK]

Originally posted by David Murray:
lot


Wash your mouth out with soap Murray!!!

[Psychokiller]

Originally posted by Coles:
Toast is not very tall

PLEASE don't go all Michael Aspel on me! My Emus can be quite dangerous on weekday evenings.

[TAK]

Originally posted by Psychokiller:
Aspel

...and what's that got to do with skiing?

[Psychokiller]

Ohhhh! Nanette Newman and all that Post Office Wrestling stuff! And Pootle or Grandfather Flump!

[David Murray]

Originally posted by TAK:

lot - Wash your mouth out with soap Murray!!!

I'd rather wash it out with Scotch if you don't mind - anyways I always thought it was a Polish Airlines - what's wrong with that ?

[Psychokiller]

Originally posted by David Murray:
I'd rather wash it out with Scotch if you don't mind - anyways I always thought it was a Polish Airlines - what's wrong with that ?

What a load of cakestand! Everyone knows you can't get two way battery hens!

[David Murray]

How about if I take a candlestick with me ?

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by David Murray:

[Psychokiller]

Won't that damage your incontinence bracelet though?

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by David Murray:
Polish Air wrong that

I don't believe you Murray. The people of Poland are so inoffensive as well.

[Pistike]

Careful lads he's a member of the BNP (Beaver Netherland Party).
Next thing you know he'll be distributing subversive reactionary tree felling and damn building material in the Holmesdale.

[TAK]

Originally posted by David Murray:
I like mustard on my beaver

We know David.

[Chris K]

Hello hello, sorry for the lateness but I thing you might find this quite useful.

http://www.beaversww.org/bev1.gif

[This message has been edited by Chris K (edited 05 December 2000).]

[wombat]

I once walked the walk of a chinese defender, and boy may I say that it hurt walking those high highs!

[GUCCI Eagle]

I much prefer a nice Beaver to a dead Otter.

[Psychokiller]

Grace Jones once put a Beaver in my otter aquarium. I was cleaning the spit off for days after!

[Pistike]

Oi ChrisK that's my beaver!

[wombat]

Did anyone see my goat? It was last seen moving into the upper echelons of society and has snubbed my offers of Ferrero Rocher.

Can anyone help?

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by wombat:
Did anyone see my goat? It was last seen moving into the upper echelons of society and has snubbed my offers of Ferrero Rocher.

Can anyone help?

I saw a goat eating a dead otter in the Victoria Station conveniences last night. I asked where he got the 20p from and he said he borrowed it off a Badger on the Underground. He said all the Beavers were next door and that i'd have to pay much more than 20p to see one.

[Psychokiller]

Ask the late Eammon Andrews, he's bound to know.

[Chris K]

Ash can I claim my pint and cigar at half-time tonight?

Pistike, I had to rescue this beaver from a North American website were it was living a sorry and empty life. I have now put meaning back into its existence. With regard to it once being yours, well I simply can't answer to that. I don't ask it about its previous experiences and it doesn't ask about mine. Its easier that way.

Anyway if anyone sees Goftalon then I pass on the message that I demand the return of my pumpkins, post haste.

[wombat]

To see one , oh yes to see one. When I went to Wimbledon they were very crap and then i got chased

and turned into Latvian Eagle.

Are you being racist?

[GUCCI Eagle]

I once saw a beaver that was getting too close to a starfish, it put me right off.

[Psychokiller]

Originally posted by GUCCI Eagle:
a

I see Murry(a)'s been corrupting you with his KKK rubbish again.

[wombat]

Put it in the bin, then blow into it

[Psychokiller]

Why is that procrastinating?

[Ash]

Nice Beaver Chris K. You finally earn one pint of beer and a cigar of your choosing ! http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/smile.gif

[Coles]

Hmmm nice, but I was looking for something in metalic blue, prefrebaly with a sun roof

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by wombat:
bin the blow

I hope you're not trying to cover up Murray's drug problem!!

[Psychokiller]

I can't talk much today, Penelope Keith and Dame Thora Hird are tarmacing my driveway.

[wombat]

My lugs are all over the place. They cam ein here for a breather, but figured that it was just too much to

Ooops got to go!

They're after me

[wombat]

My lugs are all over the place. They cam ein here for a breather, but figured that it was just too much to

Ooops got to go!

They're after me

[wombat]

Originally posted by TAK:
I eat small boiled children for tea.


I don't know what to say about that one either?

[Kevin T]

Met a nutty Chinaman last night. Thought he was David Beckham, then Pele (Pronounced Perry as in Suckling). Actual name was Lu Lu, but we think that was a wind up too. Murr(a)y got the hump.

[wombat]

Originally posted by Kevin T:
[B I went to bed with a frozen turkey, a pound of susages and a glass of warm sugary water[/B]

Whatever mate

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by TAK:
Well I don't know what to shat.



I'm afraid that problem is purely private

[Psychokiller]

I don't believe it! The late Jock Stein has just scratched my car with a piece of Asphalt. And he's got the bird out of the Renault advert who says 'Papa' working on my conservatory extension with him!!!

What is the world coming to? Never trust plumbers!

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Psychokiller:
I don't believe it! The late Jock Stein has just scratched my Ass, got the bird out of the Renault advert working on my extension with him!!!

What is the world coming to? Never trust plumbs!

My God! Is there no end to the perversion

[Kevin T]

Quite simply the best thing about central and eastern europe is the shape of their toilets. You actually crap on a flat piece of porceline that sits some 4-5 inches down from your chocolate spider. This prevents splashback and gives you a chance to say goodbye to your faecal creation before flushing everything away. Their bog roll however... Don't even get me started on their bog roll!

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Kevin T:
crap on my face

What's wrong with you man???!!!!

[PalaceFan in Alabama]

I can't remember reading some much b*llicks, since I read the New Labour paper on "When not to use Chalk" by that Chalk Expert Kevin T.

[Ash]

Originally posted by PalaceFan in Alabama:
I can't remember reading so much b*llicks, since I read the New Labour paper

And we even managed 13 odd pages without any assistance from our Kev, while he was visiting Uncle Pistike http://www.cpfc.org/ubb/smile.gif

[GUCCI Eagle]

Try the Liberal Democrat manifesto, more b*ollox in that than a pig farmers pressure cooker.

[Kevin T]

Luckilly for me they haven't invented chalk in Hungary yet.

[PalaceFan in Alabama]

Want some real b*llocks, try this "everytime I turn on a TV or a Radio, all I hear is this b*llocks about uncounted votes".
Or the infamous "I want every vote counted" and then followed by "We must have those absentee votes removed".
Now this is some primetime B*LLOCKS.

[wombat]

My good lady Julie wants to invite you round for a spitroast.

Bring your basting marinade with you!

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by wombat:
My good lady Julie wants to invite you round for a spitroast.

Bring your basting marinade with you!

Ahhhh. To sup or not to sup that is the question.

[Psychokiller]

Should I let Grace Jones re-tile my roof bearing in mind what she done to my beavers?

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Psychokiller:
Should I let Grace Jones re-tile my roof bearing in mind what she done to my beavers?

If she left her dead otter in my beaver tank i'd tell her to **** right off!

[wombat]

Originally posted by GUCCI Eagle:
If she left her dead otter in my beaver tank i'd tell her to fark right off!

I think it all depends on whether she's trying to pull up to yer bumper baby.

[GUCCI Eagle]

Grace Jones has a habit of leaving dead otters and U-benders wherever she goes. She's also got a serious farking problem and has failed her farking test on numerous occasions.

[Psychokiller]

I was going to give Miriam Stoppard the work until she nibbled at my best armchair.

I think Grace would be ok if I keep the Beavers under lock and key, but I FIND IT HARD TO FORGIVE HER NONETHELESS.

[wombat]

Originally posted by GUCCI Eagle:
Grace Jones ate my hamster and pooed the bones out.


That's foul. I always take the bones out before I eat rodent like super furry animals

[GUCCI Eagle]

I prefer Stereophonic on the bone, it was banned for a while but it's back in the shops now. They realised Welsh meat was safe as feeding the horse in front of other beavers.

[Kevin T]

Originally posted by wombat:
I'm not very tall[/B]

A point well made, I think we'll all agree.

[wombat]

Originally posted by GUCCI Eagle:
I threw away all my Gucci when I realised that is was infested with chicken boomski and mookistaani giblets and biryani custard.It was about this point that I realised that neoprene underwear was not only of superior comfort, but it also had that tangy but chewy feeling to it


Gucci, you're a perv!

[wombat]

Originally posted by Kevin T:
[B] I'm not very slim[B]

Well, you said it dude

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by wombat:

I try not to think too much about otters when I'm sitting in my own faeces and reading Guns 'n' Ammo. There is noting wrong with the fact that I've had to us a chisel on all of the beavers I know and I stand up for my right to read Wet Donkey Wild Boy on Sunday mornings in bed with Psychokiller.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

[wombat]

Don't lets knock this fine publication

Wet Donkey rocks!!!

[Sweetpea!]

My god, this thread is a challenge.

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Sweetpea!:
My god, this thread is a challenge.

If you trawl through the earlier pages of this thread I've posed you a few questions. If you'd care to enlighten me. And don't let any otters near your beaver.

[wombat]

Originally posted by Sweetpea!:
Oh damn. My batteries are rapidly running out. What am I possible going to do? Maybe I could shag Kev or something?.

Stange girl

[Kevin T]

Unfortunately we are seperated by a few hundred miles, so I won't be able to oblige.

[wombat]

Originally posted by Kevin T:
Unfortunately we are seperated by a few hundred miles, so I won't be able to oblige.

Why, where is this sweetpea thingy?

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by wombat:
Sweetpea is a bit of an old dog, but on the odd drunken night I wouldn't ming giving her one. Would you oblige Sweetie?

Bit strong isn't it?

[Psychokiller]

Originally posted by wombat:
Why, where is this sweetpea thingy?

Grace Jones just smashed my window with it.

[Kevin T]

The lovely Sweetpea, if a dog, would resemble a finely coiffered poodle with a big pink bow it's hair and nicely clipped claws. But that would look pretty stupid walking around the tough streets of Manchester, which is where she is now.

[wombat]

That's a long way just to get away from you isn't it Kev?

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Kevin T:
I've loved Sweetpea since I first met her, she has a beaver sanctuary and often hunt otters with Grace Jones.

Aaaaarrrrr! So sweet.

[Kevin T]

Well I went to Budapest to get away from her so I reckon she loves me up big time.

[TAK]

Originally posted by wombat:
I would go anywhere that Kevs been

Yeah, right.

[wombat]

Originally posted by TAK:
I do press ups in a cucumber field.


Each to their own!

[This message has been edited by wombat (edited 06 December 2000).]

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by TAK:
I practice endoscopy on myself every night



Whoa Dobbin!

[Kevin T]

Originally posted by GUCCI Eagle:
When I'm drivi

ng in my car. It's not quite a Jaguar.

[wombat]

Tally ho chappies (and chappettes)

I'm of home

see you tommorow

[GUCCI Eagle]

Originally posted by Kevin T:
I worship Geoffrey Dalmer. I have have a male head thawing on the draining board

[TAK]

Originally posted by Sweetpea!:
I love riding bare back

We know, you've already told us.

[Kevin T]

Originally posted by TAK:
That Mr Mitsubishi freak really winds me up. I wish Al had smacked him harder when he had the chance.



Really? And he thought you were good chums!

[TAK]

Who?

Al?

[Kevin T]

No it's Kev, but lovely to meet you old bean.

[TAK]

Don't start on about Kidney beans again or you'll get a smack!

[Mat ov CPFC]

Whilst a lot of above is all well and good have none of you considered that Elks may just enjoy doing it that way ?