View Full Version : City reels as Palace becomes first club sold on e-Bay

10-05-2006, 03:13 PM

Breaking News

A South London football club with a 100-year history has become the first to be sold on e-Bay - for the staggering sum of 10 pence.

City insiders believe the new owner is an obscure Internet site called mysteriously 'the BBS'.

Former Palace owner and mobile telephony baron Simon Jordan said after the dramatic auction sale:"It's the best 10 pence I have ever made."

Already the new owners, whose identity is hidden behind a veil of Internet anonymity, have sacked, released or dismembered every single Palace football player who has ever put on the famous football club's red'n'blue strip.

A spokesperson for the BBS, calling himself Trolley, said:" Not one single one of our squad is fit to wear the club shirt so we have fired the lot of them and bloody good riddance to 'em all."

Already the football world is aghast at news that the mysterious man behind 'the BBS', known as "Daveovich Campbellsky", who does not speak any English apparently, is proposing a crucial Rule change for all home games at Palace's dilapidated ground Selhurst Park.

Campbellsky is believed to have demanded that Palace's opponents will be the only ones defending any actual goal structure, due to swingeing financial cuts that the new owner is making to the club's finances.

Speaking in English for his distant boss, Campbellsky's lawyer, James Shyster, said:" We will not be defending a goal at Selhurst Park next season. There will be one goal, at the opposite end and it is into that goal that our new players (AFC Wimbledon) will be aiming the ball.

"We do not see why our fans should have to pay their hard-earned money to watch opposing teams score goals against us from now on, so we have decided in the interests of the club and our fans, that there will no longer be any goals scored against us at our ground.

"This will bring a stop to a lamentable problem that has been going on for too many years at this club and if the FA don't like it, stuff them."

The BBS is valued at 0.0000000000000001 pence on the Outer Mongolian Stock Exchange in Ulan Bator, but on news reaching the yurts of the windswept Mongolian steppe, the share price soared to 0.0001 pence.

Already the club's new owners have swooped into the lucrative football transfer market and are stalking for new talent.

"We want bar staff ready to work damn hard for 15 minutes at half-time serving our special warm pinnikin plastic bottles of Kronenbourg 1664 (Peking brand) to our thirsty fans in the Arthur Wait stand.

"And we want more of these types doing the same thing elsewhere in the ground. We will be looking to pay illegal immigrant wages of below 1 per week, so we won't want any Big Time Charlies turning up for this once-in-a-lifetime chance to break into the exciting world of top-flight Championship Division football," said James Shyster, previously a property lawyer.


10-05-2006, 04:43 PM

La Bombonera
10-05-2006, 07:55 PM
Originally posted by RealRoyal
It's 10p more than Reading went for :p