FUNNIEST PALACE CHANT EVER???? [Archive]

Gazza1

14-06-1999, 09:08 PM

1, At Tony Daley :
"What a stupid haircut" and "Does your mother cut your hair?"

2, At Perry Groves :
"You're TinTin and you know you are"

3, At Turkish Preston left back who was an Ali Osman lookalike
"Where's your Hasan gone ?"

mikestock

14-06-1999, 11:06 PM

at souness when he was liverpool boss and had just had heart bypass surgery

who's that lying in the dugout
who's that lying in the floor
iut's souness on he's back
cos he's had a heart attack
and he won't be moaning any more

or
does she take it up the a***

to jammie redknapp, mainly as he went bright red so she obviuosly does

(sorry for lowering the tone)

Oisin

15-06-1999, 04:30 AM

To Liverpool away last season "ten nil, we're going to beat you ten nil".

SE19CPFC

16-06-1999, 08:55 PM

Bit of a joke this song really as Armstrong obviously wasn't on the old herbal smokies at the time.

This was sung by my mates and I down in pubs in Pompey after our victory in 1994. Being very drunk we couldn’t speak by 11pm and could only repeat this song until we were asked to leave the pub we were in. Nicked from many other versions I know but this was ours..…

Chris Armstrongs a nutter
He wears a nutters hat
He hits ‘em with his left foot
He hits ‘em with his right
And when we play the Millwall
He’ll score all ****ing night
Cause Chris Armtsrong is just a piece
Of ****ing dynamite.

We recreated it at Southend a few weeks later and then it was no more.

20-06-1999, 09:46 PM

'Stoichcov and Romario', sang at Old Trafford to the gloating hoards
'We'll see you on the motorway', sang at the same game.

'He left you cos you are s**t, Jaimmmieee Jammmiee Smith' sang versus Wolves last season.

'One Robert Maxwell' sang at Pride Park.

'Just one Lombardo' singing it all the time didn't make it any less hillarious and brilliant.

'One Mark Goldberg!' sang by a handfull of fans on the Holmesdale at the Barnsley game last season whilst the rest of us were attempting stage the peaceful protest. Ididn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I laughed.

northernsouler

25-06-1999, 05:56 PM

I've always been partial to the Where were you when you were shit ? chant. It certainly had an effect on the arrogant Mackems at Selhurst. Going back into the golden age of BHA rivalry : He shot and come all over Mullery's bum Peter Ward Peter ward

selhurst

27-06-1999, 08:40 PM

At a home game last season, when the tannoy annoucer made a hash of it:

'Dodgy speaker, dodgy speaker'

Spikemeister

04-07-1999, 01:56 AM

Liverpool....after the 9-0 thrashing with the police keeping us back, we sang to an empty Anfield..."You're not singing any more" and "Signed Joey Boswell, we've gone and signed Joey Boswell".
Oh happy day !!

Chris K

04-07-1999, 08:00 PM

How about:
In your Birmingham slums (or where ever the opposition is from)
When there's just a few singing it its not all that. But once the whole of the Holmesdale starts singing it becomes highly amusing

Spikemeister

04-07-1999, 09:53 PM

Loftus Road in May.
Reduced to 9 men by the lunatic in black, the Palace faithful launched into "6-0 mto the referee, 6-0 to the referee" !!

Oisin

04-07-1999, 09:56 PM

Spike, I started that one. It's not very original though.

m_tucker

07-07-1999, 12:53 AM

'You're not walking very well, you're not walking very well'

... to the injured Gary Ablett last season - did not impress the Brummies!

m_tucker

07-07-1999, 12:56 AM

'Is your camel parked outside'

... to a Brentford keeper with an arab name (since changed!) at a pre-season friendly.

Source: Brentford supporting mate who was a steward at the game.

selhurst heaven

23-07-1999, 03:45 PM

I thought the singing at the last home game of the season was pretty funny. The song that goes "We're the left side, we're the left side, we're the left side over here....." took off in Block A, and was promptly answered by the Palace fans in Block B......singing "We're the right side, we're the right side" etc.

There then followed some top chants between the left and right sides, mainly "You're support is *@!}ing sh*&!!!!" and "Did you come by minibus"

Ahhhhh, memories!

ADAM

Kevin T

23-07-1999, 07:07 PM

Selhurst - how long have you been a footie fan? The old left side/ right side thing goes back for donkey's years. Much better on the terraces as the side you were on surged towards the other one when it was your turn to sing.

What about the nutty finale to the old "You are my Palace" tune on the terraces. Usually followed quickly by "Let's go f***ing mental"

little al

11-08-1999, 03:28 PM

How about the old one v the seaweeds
"Gerry Ryan walks on crutches la la etc."
or
"Who broke Dion Dublins leg, ninja ninja."
or
how about my favourite songs of all time
"4-3 we beat the scousers 4-3"
"who put the ball in the scousers net al al
who put the ball in the scousers net aaaaallll"
"al al super al"
what a great day out
aaahhh memories.

little al

11-08-1999, 03:31 PM

To Selhurst Heaven.
sorry mate, nicked your aaahh heaven bit and feel a bit of a twat for doing so!!!

tomario

11-08-1999, 05:50 PM

Talking of Chelsea, I remeber in the area final second of the ZDS in 1990, some PAlace fans started singing
"We won't pay the poll tax we won't pay the poll tax"
which was replied by other Palace fans
"You'll be going to prison, You'll be going to prison'

My favorite though was from when Palace beat Southend 8-0 in the cup, and a couple of people on the Whitehorse started singer "Barber for England", almost pissed myself with laughter.

12-08-1999, 04:30 AM

At Villa two seasons ago
'Aston villa, Aston villa, whats it like to win at home'

Dai the Swansea Eagle

12-08-1999, 04:38 AM

At Stamford Bridge some years ago, when John Salako trotted the half mile or so from the subs bench towards the away terracing to warm up. It was right after he had announced his religous beliefs somewhere. I seem to remember it started with songs like "Thou shall not be moved" and worked through a number of Palace classics in semi choir boy style. Salako seemed to enjoy it.

Fangtwang

16-08-1999, 05:27 PM

After we Liverpool beat us 9-0, we were singing "We can see you sneaking out" and "If you're ringing in sick tomorrow, clap your hands!"

little al

16-08-1999, 07:21 PM

When we was at the bottom of the Premier we sang to the tune of Oh South London...
...The Premier League
is upside down..
we should be top but we're bottom
the ¬Premier League is upside down

or more recently..
we're skint but we're beating you/1-0 up

James

17-08-1999, 06:32 PM

Isn't it funny how we all seem to remember that 9-0 thrashing by Liverpool with such affection? There was a great deal of black humour shown on the Terraces that day, and the 'It's all gone quiet over there' chant to the empty Kop (mentioned above) was a classic (as was the 'We're going to score in a minute' at 9-0 and again just after the final whistle).

I drove up to Anfield, and the journey back -at night time - was one of the most miserable journeys of my life.

It was on the journey home that I came up with the idea of introducing a big black mushroom (as in Bar Billiards) in the middle of the pitch, which if toppled over, would reduce the Team who hit it back to zero. As I recall, just before the final whistle, one of the Liverpool players blasted the ball just over the Centre Spot, where my imaginary mushroom would have been. That would have made the final score 0-0. I E-Mailed this suggestion to Danny Baker who (not realising that I was a Palace fan) really took to the idea, and mentioned it many times afterwards.

I wonder if we would look back quite so fondly on this particular game, if we hadn't beaten Liverpool in the Classic Semi-Final at Villa Park at the end of the same Season?

James

wedgetail

17-08-1999, 07:20 PM

On the night of this result I was listening to John Peel on Radio 1 and I had to listen to him going on and on about the score and how he was going to wind up 'Kid' Jensen.

jonesy

17-08-1999, 07:47 PM

Listened to the game as I was based in Scotland at the time. Couldn't believe the noise from the Red n Blue army and as I recall nor could the commentary team on R5.
I seem to recall there was a transcript of it printed in Eagle Eye.
Next day had to put up with Simon"so funny"
Mayo banging on about it all and his hilarious Palace jokes.
Mind you that was nothing compared to serving on a warship that seemed to be crewed by about 50% Scousers and me being the only Palace Fan.Even the jocks joined in http://cpfc.org/ubb/embarass.gif

[This message has been edited by jonesy (edited 17 August 1999).]

little al

17-08-1999, 10:24 PM

Wedgetail, judgeing by other threads I don't suppose Jenson was that bothered!!

Oisin

17-08-1999, 11:58 PM

Originally posted by little al on 08-16-1999 03:21 PM
When we was at the bottom of the Premier we sang to the tune of Oh South London...
...The Premier League
is upside down..
we should be top but we're bottom
the ¬Premier League is upside down

or more recently..
we're skint but we're beating you/1-0 up

Wasn't that sung against Lester at home and Liverpool away? Whoever it was we'd just comprehensibly outsung them. We almost seemed to be saying our fans deserve better than this. We're the best in the League. In many ways we were that season. Anytime I meet a scouser who was at that Anfield game that season (two years ago) they always mention how good the Palace support were that day. Who remembers the Anfiels exercise? Or when we all joined in to sing you'll never walk alone for the Hillsboro tribute and the Scousers all applauded us?

Neil the Eagle

19-08-1999, 06:11 PM

Yeah, I was there that was a very strange game all round.

I went straight from work in a suit and froze on the terrace on a bitter November evening. England beat Yugoslavia 4-0 to qualify for the 1988 European Championships and everyone was listening to it on the coach up, even though the goals were all scored in the first 20 mins of the game prior to the coach leaving.

There'd nearly been a fight at Selhurst whilst waiting for the coach. There was only one coach, but mainly filled with coach two regulars. When someone jokingly suggested the coach should be called coach two for the game, one of the coach one regulars got really anti and threatened to punch the other guy ... weird or what?

The game was a complete shambles as neither club were interested, thus the daft chants. We lost in the last five minutes to a Cannon-conceded penno (I think - I was so bloody cold by then, I was just praying it didn't go into extra time).

Simon, there were at least 60 there, as it was a full coach.

simon

19-08-1999, 06:41 PM

OK, maybe there were a few more than I said, we'd made a day of it and ariived in Oxford at lunchtime to watch the England game in the pub so maybe my counting/memory wasn't up to scratch. It seemed like 20, were many sittng?
You're right though it was freezing and it was settled by a penalty.
It must have been a day for fighting as we were set upon by some Everton fans in a nightclub afterwards. After defending ourselves valiantly the scousers were thrown out and we were given the freedom of the local women who regarded us as heroes. At least someone from Palace scored that night!

simon

20-08-1999, 04:34 AM

I remember back in the 87/88 season an away game in the Simod Cup at Oxford where Palace must have had a maximum of 20 fans. Policing us were about 15 of the local constabulary. The chant of the night was therefore
"We're gonna surge in a minute, surge in a minute, we're gonna surge in a minute"
Also every time someone popped off to empty their bladder they were accompanied by the cry of "Don't forget to shake it! Don't forget to shake it!"
Were any other BBS people at that game?

------------------

little al

20-08-1999, 09:07 PM

There was a game at Sunderland a few years back,on a sunday,live on ITV.Because of that, there wern't many Palace there.I remember that it was pissing down with rain,and a steward must have felt sorry for us (it was uncovered) because he asked those of us on the terrace if we wanted to go into the covered seats.As it was a novelty to stand up by then,about 10% of us declined the kind invitation,and got bloody soaked. The song that day was directed at the palace fans sitting down.

WE'LL SUPPORT YOU IN THE RAIN.

You had to be there I suppose http://cpfc.org/ubb/embarass.gif

[This message has been edited by little al (edited 20 August 1999).]

[This message has been edited by little al (edited 20 August 1999).]

[This message has been edited by little al (edited 20 August 1999).]

Kevin T

21-08-1999, 04:33 AM

What about the big fat away fan last season who got a massive cheer every time he took a bite out of his pie, and a big woooooohhhh in between bites. Absolutely superb.

01-09-1999, 11:10 PM

Against Leeds 2 years ago this massive fat thick gormlous looking Leeds fan was joining in with their chant of 'fatty fatty what's the score?' to Brolin.
The whole of Block B then pointed at him and sang 'what's it like to see your knob'. His mates went biserk but the funniest thing was he just stood there nodding his head as if to say yeah of course I can...thick ******* !

Essexeagle

02-09-1999, 12:23 AM

I remember sitting at Anfield - it was actually auite emotional - and as it was my first trip there I was surprised at how easily we outsang them during the game... I also remember not seeing the kop waving their scarves during the hillboro tribute cos my mate passed a bleedin huge banner supporting the families of the dead over my head...git

I also remember a few chants of 10-0 - we're gonna win 10-0

Essexeagle

02-09-1999, 12:25 AM

I also remember coming home after the Villa park semi vs Man Utd a few years ago - stopped at the service station and passed 11 coach loads of reds in the car park - we and my (at the time very drunk) mates started shouting - "It's a long way back to London la la la la."

TAK

20-09-1999, 08:24 PM

Dare I say it?

Moo!

Milz

20-09-1999, 08:33 PM

At QPR in 1991/92 - to a programme seller who looked remarkably like a Mr. Salako :

"Johnnies got a new job, Johnnies got a new job, la la la la"

And to that Arab keeper at the Brentford friendly (I was there!)
"how many wives have you got?"
"Does your Camel know you're here"

Pisti

27-09-1999, 05:49 PM

So many favourites.
How about at Spuz in the Cup.
"When Jim
Goes up
To lift the FA cup
W'ell be dead, w'ell be dead."
What year was that?
Last time I remember being properly squashed on a terrace.
Heady days.

cpfc_tommy12

26-07-2009, 02:35 PM

BUMP

BulletEagle

26-07-2009, 02:57 PM

BUMP

And people say I bump old dead and buried threads!

cpfc_tommy12

26-07-2009, 03:11 PM

Nothing wrong with that :D

BulletEagle

26-07-2009, 03:26 PM

Nothing wrong with that :D

Never said there was :D

cpfc_tommy12

26-07-2009, 05:10 PM

Yeah but you negged me :veryangry

BulletEagle

26-07-2009, 05:12 PM

Yeah but you negged me :veryangry

Sorry. :angel:

TAK

30-07-2009, 12:08 AM

And do either of you two have anything to contribute?

cpfc_tommy12

30-07-2009, 12:29 AM

I do.

Bellyman

30-07-2009, 08:27 AM

To the colchester keeper Gherkin: -
Shit in a burger, your just the shit in a burger

Baldy

30-07-2009, 08:44 AM

West Ham away a few years back when the floodlights failed.

'We can't see you sneaking out'

To Ipswich a couple of years ago:

'Sh1t town, no wh0res'

:D :D :lux:

Henfield Eagle

30-07-2009, 08:51 AM

West Ham away a few years back when the floodlights failed.

'We can't see you sneaking out'

To Ipswich a couple of years ago:

'Sh1t town, no wh0res'

:D :D :lux:
:lux: :lux:

Bellyman

30-07-2009, 08:52 AM

To Ipswich a couple of years ago:

'Sh1t town, no wh0res'

:D :D :lux:

I remember that...also sang something else that was really harsh but f*cking funny

eagle mart

30-07-2009, 08:52 AM

there has to be a funnier one than that!

How about just wolf whistling at John Fashunu after his bandit brother "came out"

Wow, was that me!? I used to be well funny.

Bellyman

30-07-2009, 08:58 AM

Wow, was that me!? I used to be well funny.

Ha USED

Barney Gumble

30-07-2009, 09:06 AM

To the fat bloke in the the away fans end to the tune of your not singng anymore, "Will you make it up the stairs.....Will you make it up the stairs"

Hilts

30-07-2009, 09:26 AM

one i remember hearing when i was a kid that i really loved and went to school singing the next day was

"barry silkman walks on water,everybody knows that bullshit floats"

he was obviously playing for another team by then.

Big Fella

30-07-2009, 12:22 PM

Someone at Ipswich away a few years ago sang

"foot and mouth
foot and mouth
you lost your farm to foot and mouth
from selhurst park to bromley south
you lost your farm to foot and mouth"

milky87

30-07-2009, 12:34 PM

there has to be a funnier one than that!

How about just wolf whistling at John Fashunu after his bandit brother "came out"

Then he duly chipped Martyn from 25 yards :o

King William

30-07-2009, 12:37 PM

Zenith Data Cup Semi-final 1st leg
Norwich v Palace

"Ruel Fox, Ruel Fox, Ruuuuueeeel Fox,
he's got the pox, he is bollox, Ruuuel Fox"!

I still sing that (to myself) these days

milky87

30-07-2009, 12:39 PM

Did the doctor kill your mum

to any northerners. it works on so may levels

milky87

30-07-2009, 12:41 PM

Speroni wo wo wo wo
Speroni wo wo wo wo
He comes from argentina
drinks down the Alliance

Bartman

30-07-2009, 12:41 PM

There have been some fairly harsh ones over the the years

"Did the doctor kill your mum?" vs Stockport.
"Have you ever seen your caaant" vs very fat Bolton(?) woman sat on the end that was so bad even the away fans were laughing.

My favourite was for Graham Rix though - to the tune of the Manics classic

"Aaaand if you tolerate Rix, then your children will be next....".

Matt_Hep

30-07-2009, 12:56 PM

'One Mark Goldberg!' sang by a handfull of fans on the Holmesdale at the Barnsley game last season whilst the rest of us were attempting stage the peaceful protest. Ididn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I laughed.

I vividly remember that and can still picture the faces of those bellowing the chant out/ripping up the Goldberg Out cards. Stupidity at its finest, a rare glimpse of humanity at its most basic and depraved.

Away Day Eagle

30-07-2009, 12:58 PM

My favourite was for Graham Rix though - to the tune of the Manics classic

"Aaaand if you tolerate Rix, then your children will be next....".

Or

'......with a packet of sweets and a cheeky smile..........'

Newozeagle

30-07-2009, 01:00 PM

West Ham V Palace when the game got abandoned with the floodlights failing just after half time..singing to the wham fans ....We Cant see you sneaking out..oh we cant see you sneaking out...

IanH

30-07-2009, 01:07 PM

At the 5-0 game, in response to the "Oo ar, Eric Cantona" chant, we replied "Oo ah, Michael Barrymore".

humpo

30-07-2009, 01:14 PM

5 - 0 and you cant go home

after the announcement that Brighton fans would be kept behind after the game.

milky87

30-07-2009, 01:22 PM

When we played Port Vale at Selhurt (I think on the final day) there was a fat bird in the away end getting stick and she was complaining to stewards. The whole of blocks a,b an c started singing

SIT DOWN YOU FAT BITCH

kolinkins

30-07-2009, 02:14 PM

16b9

Was the thread starter the Neil Ashton, of the Times, Daily Mail and GT Tour De France fame?

DocSavage

30-07-2009, 02:21 PM

has to be

"you're not famous any more" to the scousers in their bad period sadly no longer relevant

Dal

30-07-2009, 02:37 PM

"You'll never take the ladder!"

Southend Away, 1994

little al

30-07-2009, 03:45 PM

"You'll never take the ladder!"

Southend Away, 1994

That was a fantastic day out!!

Henfield Eagle

30-07-2009, 04:00 PM

5 - 0 and you cant go home

after the announcement that Brighton fans would be kept behind after the game.PA anouncement 'for your own safety':D :D :D

Vince Hilaire's Afro

30-07-2009, 04:17 PM

Then he duly chipped Martyn from 25 yards :o

I remember him celebrating that goal. He stood there with his arms aloft and his teammates looked like little munchkins frolicking at his feet.

Typical Palace

30-07-2009, 04:28 PM

there has to be a funnier one than that!

How about just wolf whistling at John Fashunu after his bandit brother "came out"
Yeah but that just inspired the clogger to score a beautiful chip.

Typical Palace

30-07-2009, 04:33 PM

Was the thread starter the Neil Ashton, of the Times, Daily Mail and GT Tour De France fame?
Yes, I believe it was.

Palace Bear

30-07-2009, 05:16 PM

Brighton away McAnuff last minute game. In reference to the temporary seating they have/had....

To the tune of 'Shit ground, No fans' my mate started singing:

Shit ground, Golf stands, Shit ground, Golf stands

Palace Bear

30-07-2009, 05:24 PM

Also at that game, I found it quite amusing/apropriate when 10 minutes before KO the Killers came on the tannoy... ' sombody told me, you have a boyfriend that looks like a girlfriend...'

Sandowneagle

30-07-2009, 05:37 PM

I still smile at

"We can see you holding hands"

When we play Brighton.

Skiddo

30-07-2009, 09:27 PM

Sung tonight at the pre-season friendly at Bromley.

"Der, der, der, Jul-ian Spe-roni,
Der, der, der, where's his fvcking pony?!"

:D

tasty_snacks

30-07-2009, 09:51 PM

away at burnley a few seasons ago in mid-april, with the play-offs already secured. aj was sub, and macken was leading the line;

'we've got an england striker, on the bench, we've got an england striker, on the bench....'

promptly followed by

'there's only onnnnnnne, jonny macken....'

hmmmmm, maybe you had to be there.