BBS Virtual Town FC [Archive] - Page 3

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

16-09-2009, 09:53 AM

Nothing like healthy competition!

How do you think training's coming along gaffa?

jazman

16-09-2009, 10:10 AM

An hour into it and you and Barbara are doing well ... but the first lap of the pitch really shouldn't take you both 45 minutes ...

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 10:16 AM

Oi - the chairman's seat is mine - you can have a seat on the board if you are good though. In fact youcan be joint chairman if you want to hand over some money. Free tanning kit and hair dye thrown in - I can't say fairer than that.
I think you'll find you were ousted and the seat is all mine. Now, go and put the kettle on luv.

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 10:16 AM

An hour into it and you and Barbara are doing well ... but the first lap of the pitch really shouldn't take you both 45 minutes ...

I told you not to get Tom Soares on loan!

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 10:19 AM

I told you not to get Tom Soares on loan!

He's been teaching me a few tricks ;)

:love:

jazman

16-09-2009, 10:22 AM

He's been teaching me a few tricks ;)

:love:

Yes but running across the half way line to cut across a lap doesn't get past me ...

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 10:23 AM

Yes but running across the half way line to cut across a lap doesn't get past me ...

We haven't covered the football tricks yet, though.

;)

jazman

16-09-2009, 10:24 AM

Sod this game of soldiers, lets' get down the pub ... At least you two will be starting against Derby :p

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 10:25 AM

Sod this game of soldiers, lets' get down the pub ... At least you two will be starting against Derby :p

:lux:

I'll meet you in the pub a bit later. Tom and I are going to do a bit of one-on-one training.

jazman

16-09-2009, 10:28 AM

:lux:

I'll meet you in the pub a bit later. Tom and I are going to do a bit of one-on-one training.

Let me get changed first then and I'm outta here ...

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 10:33 AM

Anyone fancy a jaunt up town to my bar?

jazman

16-09-2009, 10:53 AM

Anyone fancy a jaunt up town to my bar?

Full of celebs?

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 11:02 AM

Yeah. And members of The Dolly Rockers.

jazman

16-09-2009, 11:03 AM

I'm shallow enough to mix with those kind of people. I'm in.

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 11:04 AM

Cool, I'll just leave someone to sort out some embargo we've been hit with and we'll be on our way.

jazman

16-09-2009, 11:17 AM

Who needs the ability to buy players when we have the whole of the BBS to pick from ....

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 11:18 AM

Thats what I'll tell the papers when they call me for a quote later.

jazman

16-09-2009, 11:21 AM

Stuff them all. They all have it in for us. Let's get that fighting spirit and show them against all odds ....

mrgins

16-09-2009, 11:28 AM

Well that was fun. Just returned from Loftus Road after the groundsman came to find out what Lanky's snoring was coming from the changing rooms ... Rubbish hotel facilities there I must say ...

All in for training at 10am ... I'm in a foul mood.
I have a hair appointment at 10. sorry

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 11:28 AM

I have a hair appointment at 10. sorry

I've got one at 11.30, too.

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 11:29 AM

Oh. Mine's tomorrow because it's already gone 11.30 today.

mrgins

16-09-2009, 11:29 AM

1f73

An hour into it and you and Barbara are doing well ... but the first lap of the pitch really shouldn't take you both 45 minutes ...
Give 'em a break, gaffer. They had to share a zimmer frame

jazman

16-09-2009, 11:29 AM

I have a hair appointment at 10. sorry

Purple rinse?

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 11:35 AM

Bunch of over paid tossers, now we see where our players priorities lie, my manager (who has my full support) calls a full training session and a few feel it is more important to go to a hairdressers instead.

They can either turn up to train or will find themselves being placed upon the transfer list immediately.

I blame the FA, Karen Brady is a slag etc etc.

jazman

16-09-2009, 11:38 AM

Training is at 9am tomorrow. Be there or be listed ...

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 11:41 AM

Training is at 9am tomorrow. Be there or be listed ...

I'll be there, but can I leave at about 11.00 to get to my hairdressers by 11.30, please?

I don't mind turning up a bit earlier to make up the time, Gaffer :p

jazman

16-09-2009, 11:46 AM

I'll be there, but can I leave at about 11.00 to get to my hairdressers by 11.30, please?

I don't mind turning up a bit earlier to make up the time, Gaffer :p

Make it 8am then so you can get a good three hour session in ...

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 11:47 AM

Make it 8pm then so you can get a good three hour session in ...

OK. Have to make sure my hair is in tip top condition for Saturday's game :p

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 11:48 AM

You might not be picked, I have got my eye on you. You seem like a prima donna.

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 11:49 AM

You might not be picked, I have got my eye on you. You seem like a prima donna.

I've already been assured a starting place due to the fact that I actually bothered to turn up for training this morning.

Ner. So stick that in your pipe, Mr Big.

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 11:52 AM

I've already been assured a starting place due to the fact that I actually bothered to turn up for training this morning.

Ner. So stick that in your pipe, Mr Big.
I will not be spoken to by a jumped up park footballer, you are fined two weeks wages and I demand that you train with the reserves. Unless i have a full apology on my desk by tomorrow I will ensure you never play for my club again.

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 11:54 AM

I will not be spoken to by a jumped up park footballer, you are fined two weeks wages and I demand that you train with the reserves. Unless i have a full apology on my desk by tomorrow I will ensure you never play for my club again.

:sob:

You bully

:sob:

I'm sorry. I'll never do it again, Sir :angel:

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 11:54 AM

:sob:

You bully

:sob:

I'm sorry. I'll never do it again, Sir :angel:
Speak up, I can't hear you.

jazman

16-09-2009, 11:55 AM

I will not be spoken to by a jumped up park footballer, you are fined two weeks wages and I demand that you train with the reserves. Unless i have a full apology on my desk by tomorrow I will ensure you never play for my club again.

Err chairman? A quick word if I may ...

There was only myself, Cheerleader Observer and Barbara at training this morning ... how can implement a no train no play regime if you go and do that?

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 11:56 AM

Err chairman? A quick word if I may ...

There was only myself, Cheerleader Observer and Barbara at training this morning ... how can implement a no train no play regime if you go and do that?
I am the chairman and if you want to come and meet The DollyRockers in a bit you'll do well to remember that.

jazman

16-09-2009, 11:59 AM

I am the chairman and if you want to come and meet The DollyRockers in a bit you'll do well to remember that.

I'm going to find it difficult to work in these conditions ...

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 12:06 PM

I'm going to find it difficult to work in these conditions ...
No you won't, they're very nice girls.

Maz

16-09-2009, 12:07 PM

Peter Out!

(Think about it).

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 12:09 PM

Peter Out!

(Think about it).

:lux:

jazman

16-09-2009, 12:09 PM

No you won't, they're very nice girls.

So can I put Barbara in the team this weekend or she suspended? If so, that will leave two players available as no one else has bothered to turn up ...

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 12:11 PM

So can I put Barbara in the team this weekend or she suspended? If so, that will leave two players available as no one else has bothered to turn up ...
If she apologises properly. I have to set a standard here you know.

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 12:11 PM

If she apologises properly. I have to set a standard here you know.

I said I'm sorry once. I don't do twice.

BennyPalaceFan

16-09-2009, 12:13 PM

202d

I'm a fairly reasonable right midfielder/winger with set-pices being my top strength :D am a qualified football coach too if that helps!

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 12:16 PM

I said I'm sorry once. I don't do twice.

Are you truly sorry? can we release a press statement saying that you are prepared to give 110 percent for your team, manager, chairman and most importantly, the fans of VTFC?

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 12:16 PM

I'm a fairly reasonable right midfielder/winger with set-pices being my top strength :D am a qualified football coach too if that helps!
Sorry, you're a mental. We have enough of them already.

sw16girl

16-09-2009, 12:17 PM

I think you'll find you were ousted and the seat is all mine. Now, go and put the kettle on luv.

You can put your own fecking kettle on. I work my fingers to the bone, spend all my money and then the fickle few turn to someone who is a Z list celeb. I'm off then and good riddance. (and I'm taking the key to executive bathroom as well so ner!)

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 12:18 PM

You can put your own fecking kettle on. I work my fingers to the bone, spend all my money and then the fickle few turn to someone who is a Z list celeb. I'm off then and good riddance. (and I'm taking the key to executive bathroom as well so ner!)

We changed that lock yesterday, you kept leaving the seat down.

BennyPalaceFan

16-09-2009, 12:20 PM

Sorry, you're a mental. We have enough of them already.

Charming!!!

sw16girl

16-09-2009, 12:22 PM

oops -I've just seen I was in the team yesterday I missed that - In that case I'll be straight down to training - can I bring my mate Yea T'Nother M'Bargo along for a trial - I think he is worth looking at.

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 12:24 PM

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 12:26 PM

Are you truly sorry? can we release a press statement saying that you are prepared to give 110 percent for your team, manager, chairman and most importantly, the fans of VTFC?

Yes, I'm truly sorry, oh great one.

:rolleyes:

sw16girl

16-09-2009, 12:42 PM

Is he cousins with George Weah?

Depends on what the signing on fee might be :)

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 12:46 PM

I know Yea T'Nother M'Bargo. He's alright.

He's not overly reliable though. Here one minute, gone the next, then comes back without a by your leave.

Maidstoned Eagle

16-09-2009, 01:37 PM

Yes, I'm truly sorry, oh great one.

:rolleyes:

Ok, you can play Saturday.

just put the word out that she might be available

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 01:39 PM

Ok, you can play Saturday.

just put the word out that she might be available

The 'quote' function is an amazing thing, you know.

:(

the digger

16-09-2009, 02:23 PM

Update:

Following the icy finger treatment from the doctor I am pleased to announce that I am not carrying a hernia, but a slight tear in the abductor muscle and am therefore fully fit and available for selection again with the aid of a cortisone injection.

mrgins

16-09-2009, 02:41 PM

Purple rinse?
actually its a wax but don't tell anyone

mrgins

16-09-2009, 02:44 PM

Training is at 9am tomorrow. Be there or be listed ...
Erm, I planned on sleeping late tomoro

mrgins

16-09-2009, 02:52 PM

So can I put Barbara in the team this weekend or she suspended? If so, that will leave two players available as no one else has bothered to turn up ...
She's the only fit one on the team!

mrgins

16-09-2009, 02:53 PM

mrgins

16-09-2009, 02:56 PM

I insist I be called The Chosen One.
Also, how did the celeb bloke become chairman? I thought that meant wiping the seats after each home game

jazman

16-09-2009, 02:59 PM

Right, only one thing for it, open training tomorrow at 9am (8am for Barbara who has a bloody hair appointment!) ... anyone can attend, those who don't simply won't be up for selection for the Derby match.

jazman

16-09-2009, 02:59 PM

I insist I be called The Chosen One.
Also, how did the celeb bloke become chairman? I thought that meant wiping the seats after each home game

Don't you mean the 'Special' one?

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 02:59 PM

I insist I be called The Chosen One.
Also, how did the celeb bloke become chairman? I thought that meant wiping the seats after each home game

I think of you as The Special One

;)

the digger

16-09-2009, 03:00 PM

Erm, how well do we know this "doctor"?

Let's just say that he now knows me better than I am completely comfortable with.

jazman

16-09-2009, 03:02 PM

Let's just say that he now knows me better than I am completely comfortable with.

Does this so called doctor double as a head coach at all? ;)

mrgins

16-09-2009, 03:07 PM

Does this so called doctor double as a head coach at all? ;)
ok ok, so I was earning some extra money on the side, but he DID say he had a headache and I was just trying some experimental treatment.

mrgins

16-09-2009, 03:08 PM

Don't you mean the 'Special' one?
No. Chosen sounds more religious, where as Special sounds too kinky

mrgins

16-09-2009, 03:10 PM

. anyone can attend, those who don't simply won't be up for selection for the Derby match.
I'll send my granny along. She's been dead for 50 years but she's still more mobile than most of our current players:p

mrgins

16-09-2009, 03:11 PM

Does this so called doctor double as a head coach at all? ;)
Has anyone ever told you how rude you are?

jazman

16-09-2009, 03:13 PM

ok ok, so I was earning some extra money on the side, but he DID say he had a headache and I was just trying some experimental treatment.

I'll bet his headache was cured in an instant!

jazman

16-09-2009, 03:14 PM

No. Chosen sounds more religious, where as Special sounds too kinky

Special sounds more mentally challenged ...

jazman

16-09-2009, 03:15 PM

I'll send my granny along. She's been dead for 50 years but she's still more mobile than most of our current players:p

That's only because the head coach hasn't been training them well enough ...

jazman

16-09-2009, 03:19 PM

Has anyone ever told you how rude you are?

It's my new regime. The Chairman taught me well ...

mrgins

16-09-2009, 03:55 PM

Special sounds more mentally challenged ...
exactly what are you implying?

mrgins

16-09-2009, 03:56 PM

That's only because the head coach hasn't been training them well enough ...
Nonsense. All they have to do is read some of my posts on the BBS and it's clear what my philosophy is

jazman

16-09-2009, 04:03 PM

exactly what are you implying?

Nothing at all, just that I'd put you in the special category ...

jazman

16-09-2009, 04:03 PM

Nonsense. All they have to do is read some of my posts on the BBS and it's clear what my philosophy is

Clear as mud

mrgins

16-09-2009, 04:11 PM

Nothing at all, just that I'd put you in the special category ...
Aw! why don't you come to my office later....

mrgins

16-09-2009, 04:12 PM

Clear as mud
It's very clear.
Just put the ball in their net at least once more than they put it in ours:p

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 04:35 PM

I need some new boots.

I'm having my hair dyed tomorrow and just realised my boots won't go with my new colour.

Who do I get the dosh from to buy some new ones?

mrgins

16-09-2009, 05:19 PM

I need some new boots.

I'm having my hair dyed tomorrow and just realised my boots won't go with my new colour.

Who do I get the dosh from to buy some new ones?
Who says you're playing?

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 05:22 PM

Who says you're playing?

I've been told by the Gaffer.

He assured me a starting place on Saturday.

Why do you think I'm getting my hair done?

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

16-09-2009, 05:22 PM

I got a nice sponsorship deal for my new boots. Won't say what I had to do to get them though...

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 05:23 PM

Tom said I can borrow his if someone doesn't come up with the dosh.

I'll have to stuff some tissue or something in them because they are too big for me, but I can cope with that.

mrgins

16-09-2009, 05:27 PM

Tom said I can borrow his if someone doesn't come up with the dosh.

I'll have to stuff some tissue or something in them because they are too big for me, but I can cope with that.
Well they didn't do much for him either!

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 05:32 PM

Well they didn't do much for him either!

:eek:

Take that back, you cad!

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

16-09-2009, 05:35 PM

Oh dear, barbara may do a 'Rooney' and throw her boots about in a huff!

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 05:41 PM

Oh dear, barbara may do a 'Rooney' and throw her boots about in a huff!

I'd never throw Tom's boots.

I think our coach is getting a bit above himself.

He's only a coach, after all.

It's not as if he's an important part of the team.

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

16-09-2009, 05:46 PM

Not as important as the players :p

peagle

16-09-2009, 06:00 PM

I have boots problems too manager/chairman/whoever as they dont usually make football boots in my size so I will just wear my rugby ones. Doesnt half make it harder to kick the ball well though :(

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

16-09-2009, 06:08 PM

Where's our kit manager to sort out these boot issues?!

jazman

16-09-2009, 07:39 PM

peagle

16-09-2009, 07:43 PM

Nobody applied for the kit manager's job so I'm doing them it looks like .. as for dough for new boots and that, you all get paid enough so sort yourselves out .. do you need me to wipe your arses as well damn it????
Can i keep that offer for when im old???

jazman

16-09-2009, 07:45 PM

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 07:51 PM

jazman

16-09-2009, 07:55 PM

I've just taken a call from Viagra. Apparantly they had a delivery to make to a one Mr Gins but I said there was no such person here ... and then I remembered that he is our 'special' head coach .... at which point I managed to set up a deal with them to sponsor us .... they are willing to help us with kit and will throw in a few freebies .... we just need to sort out what colours we should have and they will do the rest .. apparantly they are excel at making things come good so I trust them ...

Next up we need a logo ...

peagle

16-09-2009, 07:56 PM

Can we move away from Palace colours and change to Blue and Red instead?

pauldrulez

16-09-2009, 08:01 PM

do you need me to wipe your arses as well damn it????
Yes.

(Shit, i've been loaned out to Brighton now i've said that)

jazman

16-09-2009, 08:01 PM

Yes.

(Shit, i've been loaned out to Brighton now i've said that)

Damn right. And they will do far more than just wipe your arse for you ... :o

peagle

16-09-2009, 08:02 PM

Yes.

(Shit, i've been loaned out to Brighton now i've said that)
Good win for the Pats Monday eh mate?? Hear Brady had a bit of a stinker untill the fourth though :(

jazman

16-09-2009, 08:04 PM

Good win for the Pats Monday eh mate?? Hear Brady had a bit of a stinker untill the fourth though :(

Oi, we live and breath BBS VTFC on here so certainly not any Pats talk ....

Barbara4003

16-09-2009, 08:07 PM

peagle

16-09-2009, 08:08 PM

Im just worried we might have a tough time dealing with them.

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

16-09-2009, 10:04 PM

Glad to see our new sponsor is assisting in making things look on the up :p

sw16girl

16-09-2009, 10:43 PM

Every team needs a good hard man to build the defence around - looks like we will have them all over the pitch now.

mrgins

16-09-2009, 11:17 PM

mrgins

16-09-2009, 11:19 PM

Oh.

I'll just paint my boots to match my hair then.

I don't see why I should have to pay for my own boots.

Don't you know who I am?

:hmph:
WHO ARE YA!
WHO ARE YA!

mrgins

16-09-2009, 11:20 PM

I'd never throw Tom's boots.

I think our coach is getting a bit above himself.

He's only a coach, after all.

It's not as if he's an important part of the team.
I am HEAD coach! HEAD coach I tell you!

mrgins

16-09-2009, 11:21 PM

Will they help get us up, though?

Into the Premiership I mean, of course.

;)
They'll get us up so far we won't come back down for years:p

mrgins

16-09-2009, 11:23 PM

1f6c

Every team needs a good hard man to build the defence around - looks like we will have them all over the pitch now.
I just hope we don't play like a bunch of stiffs

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 06:41 AM

I am very happy with the new attitude our manager has taken, not sure about the plastic septic being the "Head" coach, it kind of implies he has ulterior motives. Might reccomend someone keeps an eye on him if he goes near the youth team.

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 07:29 AM

Morning all. How's the cheerleaders coming on? I haven't been asked yet to check them over

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 07:31 AM

They were all taken away by their parents when the HEAD coach started showing an unhealthy interest in the younger members.

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 07:33 AM

No doubt trying to lure them into his cellar

jazman

17-09-2009, 07:44 AM

Right, I'm at the training ground with my balls out ... Barbara has yet to turn up even though she was supposed to be here at 8am. Training starts at 9am without fail ....

At the moment I'll be training myself ... and I have whole bunch of sponsors products here as well ...

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 07:45 AM

Did my tanning stuff turn up?

jazman

17-09-2009, 07:47 AM

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 07:48 AM

I also have to commend you on your attendance this morning Mr Manager,when you left the bar at 4am with those two "celebs" I thought that´d be the last we see of you.

I got that paparazzis film from him too.

jazman

17-09-2009, 07:48 AM

Did my tanning stuff turn up?

There is a box that appears to be glowing here if that's what you're waiting for ...

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 07:49 AM

I have my reservations also about him .... Can we actively look for a replacement?
Yes.

jazman

17-09-2009, 07:52 AM

the digger

17-09-2009, 07:53 AM

Need some help putting the cones out guv?

jazman

17-09-2009, 07:54 AM

Yes.

There are plenty of positions still to be filled at the club, maybe we could move him into one of those if we find a suitable candidate ...

jazman

17-09-2009, 07:55 AM

Need some help putting the cones out guv?

Welcome, you've doubled the attendence ... I hope you're fighting fit?

the digger

17-09-2009, 07:57 AM

The cortisone injections seem to be working nicely, thank you.

little al

17-09-2009, 07:58 AM

I am here, sort of.

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 07:58 AM

There are plenty of positions still to be filled at the club, maybe we could move him into one of those if we find a suitable candidate ...
Youth development?

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 07:58 AM

I'm here gaffa ready for duty :hi:

jazman

17-09-2009, 08:03 AM

Right, you can all warm up by running down to McDonalds and get me a breakfast ...

jazman

17-09-2009, 08:03 AM

Youth development?

I think that would give the club unwanted publicity

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 08:04 AM

I think that would give the club unwanted publicity

But then he´d be the Police´s problem not ours, it won´t cost us a thing to sack him.

jazman

17-09-2009, 08:05 AM

But then he´d be the Police´s problem not ours, it won´t cost us a thing to sack him.

I like your thinking ...

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 08:06 AM

The police will find his trench coat, sweets and puppies in his car and figure it out

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 08:10 AM

I'm here, but I'm tired.

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 08:11 AM

Late again Barbara :rolleyes:

little al

17-09-2009, 08:11 AM

I'm here, but I'm tired.Was you up shagging all night?

jazman

17-09-2009, 08:11 AM

6 laps of the pitch ...

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 08:12 AM

Just for Barbara yeah?

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 08:12 AM

Late again Barbara :rolleyes:

I'm not late. I was in at 8.00 am but was training at Chelsea because I didn't want to train on my own.

the digger

17-09-2009, 08:17 AM

I'm not late. I was in at 8.00 am but was training at Chelsea because I didn't want to train on my own.

Are you trying to engineer a move? Haven't you heard, they can't sign anyone.

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 08:18 AM

Barbra Kuqi is going to be trouble.

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 08:19 AM

Are you trying to engineer a move? Haven't you heard, they can't sign anyone.

Not at all. Just fancied seeing how the other half live.

They get two slices of orange each there.

Oh, to have a rich owner.

jazman

17-09-2009, 08:19 AM

Just for Barbara yeah?

You should be well on your way to McDonalds ...

jazman

17-09-2009, 08:20 AM

I'm not late. I was in at 8.00 am but was training at Chelsea because I didn't want to train on my own.

You don't play for that cowboy outfit though do you!!

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 08:20 AM

You should be well on your way to McDonalds ...

Yeah.

And don't forget my egg and cheese McMuffin and my coffee.

jazman

17-09-2009, 08:21 AM

Barbra Kuqi is going to be trouble.

She sounds more like Barbara Oster ...

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 08:21 AM

You don't play for that cowboy outfit though do you!!

No.

I'm VTFC til I die, Gaffer.

It was lonely training on my own though and Drogba did teach me a few good diving techniques.

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 08:22 AM

She sounds more like Barbara Oster ...

Barbara Soares sort of rolls off the tongue.

jazman

17-09-2009, 08:22 AM

Yeah.

And don't forget my egg and cheese McMuffin and my coffee.

Get on with your 6 laps otherwise you won't be going anywhere to get your hair done ...

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 08:31 AM

Get on with your 6 laps otherwise you won't be going anywhere to get your hair done ...

Ooh. Can you remind me at about 10.45 that I've got a hairdressers appointment at 11.30, please?

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 08:31 AM

Well that's my weight training done bringing back the mcdonalds breakfasts for everyone

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 08:32 AM

Barbara Soares sort of rolls off the tongue.

Like a regurgitated oyster.

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 08:34 AM

Like a regurgitated oyster.

they didn't have any of those at mcdonalds I'm afraid

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 08:37 AM

they didn't have any of those at mcdonalds I'm afraid

I brought my own.

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 08:39 AM

Think we may need a dietician at this club

jazman

17-09-2009, 08:39 AM

Ooh. Can you remind me at about 10.45 that I've got a hairdressers appointment at 11.30, please?

I'm not your secretary, not get down and give me 20!!

jazman

17-09-2009, 08:39 AM

Well that's my weight training done bringing back the mcdonalds breakfasts for everyone

You don't look well at all ...

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 08:40 AM

I'm not your secretary, not get down and give me 20!!

:eek:

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 08:41 AM

You don't look well at all ...

That'll be the egg mcmuffin :sob:

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 08:41 AM

Like a regurgitated oyster.

Oi!

Actually, my initials would be BS, which is rather appropriate for this thread :lux:

jazman

17-09-2009, 08:42 AM

Right shooting practice ... but we don't have a keeper at training today .. but you could say we don't have a defender, midfielder or striker either!

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 08:43 AM

I'm a striker.

I'm here.

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 08:45 AM

I'm an attacking midfielder. So we just need a goalie and defender

jazman

17-09-2009, 08:47 AM

My point exactly!

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 09:23 AM

Almost an hour and a half into training and no goalie. Jay, you're a defender so we have three of the four position types!

jazman

17-09-2009, 09:32 AM

Shooting practise; goals from 100 shots;

The dodger 26
jazman 25
CPFC Cheeleader 12
little al 5
Barbara 2

Extra training for the so called striker ... :rolleyes:

jazman

17-09-2009, 09:33 AM

And that's with an open goal!!

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 09:38 AM

I'll practise in my garden later.

I've got more important things to do at the moment.

I'm off to the hairdressers.

:hi:

jazman

17-09-2009, 09:40 AM

I think a starting place on the bench beckons ...

SexualChocolate

17-09-2009, 09:43 AM

I've been here the whole time. I scored 80/100 shots. I'm a ******* ledge.

jazman

17-09-2009, 09:44 AM

You were obviously a) dreaming or b) you are the invisible man and I claim my £5

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 09:46 AM

I think a starting place on the bench beckons ...
I've been offered a tracksuit and some half time oranges for her.

SexualChocolate

17-09-2009, 09:47 AM

You were obviously a) dreaming or b) you are the invisible man and I claim my £5

I was the one wearing the alice-band, pink boots & cycling shorts who was surrounded by the paps.

You're a rubbish manager if you can't even recognise your captain. :rolleyes:

SexualChocolate

17-09-2009, 09:48 AM

I've been offered a tracksuit and some half time oranges for her.

Does she 'qualify' to play for the Republic of Ireland through her adopted parents too?

jazman

17-09-2009, 09:49 AM

I was the one wearing the alice-band, pink boots & cycling shorts who was surrounded by the paps.

You're a rubbish manager if you can't even recognise your captain. :rolleyes:

Now I thought that was the filming of a fly on the wall documentary that the chairman mentioned to me ... 'A Day in the life of a Prima Donna' ...

jazman

17-09-2009, 09:50 AM

I've been offered a tracksuit and some half time oranges for her.

Take it. She's the bain of my life ...

SexualChocolate

17-09-2009, 09:54 AM

Now I thought that was the filming of a fly on the wall documentary that the chairman mentioned to me ... 'A Day in the life of a Prima Donna' ...

I was multi-tasking....h'obviously....:rolleyes: [sigh]

jazman

17-09-2009, 10:02 AM

I was multi-tasking....h'obviously....:rolleyes: [sigh]

As long as you had a decent work out them I'm happy ...

Training at 10am tomorrow ... a bit more ball work. Today I was pleased with a better turn out but a full team at least would be better ...

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 11:12 AM

10am is more realistic than 9am for getting a better turnout boss :p

jazman

17-09-2009, 11:15 AM

Plus it gives me more recovery time after a long night at the chairman's celebrity bar ...

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 11:20 AM

Watch out for his tanning parlour. It only tans you one colour... Deep orange!

jazman

17-09-2009, 11:21 AM

He only has one kind of parlour in his bar and it isn't a tanning one .. ;)

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 11:23 AM

So you'll need another type of cream then! ;)

jazman

17-09-2009, 11:42 AM

Maybe that's why Viagra came forward ..

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 12:32 PM

The Viagra stand has got the go ahead. Erection will start at the climax of this season.

pauldrulez

17-09-2009, 12:32 PM

I'm at an STI clinic at that time, boss.

I mean, I'm helping at a charity shop at time, gaffer.

pauldrulez

17-09-2009, 12:33 PM

The Viagra stand has got the go ahead. Erection will start at the climax of this season.
:lux:

I hope the builders will be hard on the job.

jazman

17-09-2009, 12:46 PM

I hope there is no disapointment though

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 04:03 PM

Hope our sponsor ensures we have more ups and less downs than palace!

jazman

17-09-2009, 04:48 PM

I would have thought they would guarantee more ups and downs .. ;)

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 04:50 PM

Should improve our shooting too

jazman

17-09-2009, 04:53 PM

Don't fancy being the opposition keeper ...

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:06 PM

I'm at an STI clinic at that time, boss.

I mean, I'm helping at a charity shop at time, gaffer.

What are you doing here, we loaned you to Brighton.

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 05:07 PM

What are you doing here, we loaned you to Brighton.

That's why he's there.

jazman

17-09-2009, 05:09 PM

What are you doing here, we loaned you to Brighton.

Returned with his tail between his legs ... or something ...

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 05:12 PM

Being loaned to Brighton. What a punishment

sw16girl

17-09-2009, 05:13 PM

Sorry I got held up - am I too late for training?

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:14 PM

Being loaned to Brighton. What a punishment

The manager wanted to send him to Charlton.

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 05:15 PM

Sorry I got held up - am I too late for training?

It's all a bit of a shambles, to be honest.

We need to you get us into some sort of disciplined order.

And I need some dosh for my new boots.

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:15 PM

That's why he's there.

No one asked you, Kuqi.

pauldrulez

17-09-2009, 05:15 PM

What are you doing here, we loaned you to Brighton.
I got Syphilis. The Brighton Chairman didn't like it because it was from a female. Apparently females are against their policy :confused:

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:16 PM

I got Syphilis. The Brighton Chairman didn't like it because it was from a female. Apparently females are against their policy :confused:

Charlton for you then. be off with you...and wipe the baths round before you go...and leave all your kit, it'll need to be burnt.

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 05:16 PM

Better late than never I guess. Gaffa might not be happy though, not many of us turned up this morning

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:18 PM

Better late than never I guess. Gaffa might not be happy though, nit many of us turned up this morning

He'll be ok, I've set him up with Jordan.

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 05:19 PM

No one asked you, Kuqi.

I have had other offers, you know.

From other Clubs.

One more bit of cheek from you, and I'm off.

And I'm taking the goals with me.

And the balls.

pauldrulez

17-09-2009, 05:19 PM

Charlton for you then. be off with you...and wipe the baths round before you go...and leave all your kit, it'll need to be burnt.
They're allergic to houses. I can't live in a caravan.

pauldrulez

17-09-2009, 05:19 PM

I have had other offers, you know.

From other Clubs.

One more bit of cheek from you, and I'm off.

And I'm taking the goals with me.

And the balls.
Leave Maidstoned's balls alone.

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

17-09-2009, 05:21 PM

Morale doesn't seem too good at the mo. Plenty of off-the-pitch scuffles. Let's keep the agression for on the pitch chaps and stuff Derby :p

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:21 PM

I have had other offers, you know.

From other Clubs.

One more bit of cheek from you, and I'm off.

And I'm taking the goals with me.

And the balls.

I've just got an offer of two tracksuits, a case of oranges and some ex army surplus footballs.

Get your stuff and go.

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:22 PM

They're allergic to houses. I can't live in a caravan.
You'll go where we send you. Now beggone and take that jizz stained poster of some F1 dago with you.

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 05:23 PM

I've just got an offer of two tracksuits, a case of oranges and some ex army surplus footballs.

Get your stuff and go.

You'll regret that decision.

I've got a lot of goss on you.

And I'm not afraid to blab to the papers, either.

Ginger haired girls.

Need I say more?

pauldrulez

17-09-2009, 05:23 PM

You'll go where we send you. Now beggone and take that jizz stained poster of some F1 dago with you.
Leave Jaime alone.

sw16girl

17-09-2009, 05:23 PM

It's all a bit of a shambles, to be honest.

We need to you get us into some sort of disciplined order.

And I need some dosh for my new boots.

I suggest you ask our celebrity chairman then. I'm off to practice keepy uppy.

pauldrulez

17-09-2009, 05:24 PM

You'll regret that decision.

I've got a lot of goss on you.

And I'm not afraid to blab to the papers, either.

Ginger haired girls.

Need I say more?
Don't talk about Mellors like that.

pauldrulez

17-09-2009, 05:24 PM

I suggest you ask our celebrity chairman then. I'm off to practice keepy uppy.
Leave the chairman's dick alone

:D

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 05:25 PM

I suggest you ask our celebrity chairman then. I'm off to practice keepy uppy.

Is that code for a meeting with our Sponsors?

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:26 PM

You'll regret that decision.

I've got a lot of goss on you.

And I'm not afraid to blab to the papers, either.

Ginger haired girls.

Need I say more?
You don't scare me, all that stuff is in my Autobiography "I'm the boss, its the FA's fault and Karen Brady is a slag" so anything you come out with is just going to give me more publicity and swell my coffers.

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:27 PM

I suggest you ask our celebrity chairman then. I'm off to practice keepy uppy.
You were supposed to be here this morning.

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 05:28 PM

You don't scare me, all that stuff is in my Autobiography "I'm the boss, its the FA's fault and Karen Brady is a slag" so anything you come out with is just going to give me more publicity and swell my coffers.

I'll buy you some chocolate honeycombe.

Sir.

:angel:

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:29 PM

I'll buy you some chocolate honeycombe.

Sir.

:angel:

So, you want to stay?

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 05:32 PM

I want to stay.

I promise to do my best.

To do my duty to God and the Queen.

And VTFC.

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:33 PM

I want to stay.

I promise to do my best.

To do my duty to God and the Queen.

And VTFC.

Ok then, no more of this training with Chelsea and not training due to a hair appointment stuff.

10am tomorrow, sharp.

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 05:35 PM

Ok then, no more of this training with Chelsea and not training due to a hair appointment stuff.

10am tomorrow, sharp.

I'll be there at 9.30 am.

I will need to go to the hairdressers again in 6 weeks, so I'll make sure I'm injured so it doesn't upset the balance of the team.

Sir.

jazman

17-09-2009, 05:35 PM

Sorry I got held up - am I too late for training?

What time do you call this??

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:36 PM

I'll be there at 9.30 am.

I will need to go to the hairdressers again in 6 weeks, so I'll make sure I'm injured so it doesn't upset the balance of the team.

Sir.

Heres a number for a hairdresser, from the look of yours you'll need it.

jazman

17-09-2009, 05:38 PM

He'll be ok, I've set him up with Jordan.

Simon Jordan? :eek:

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 05:38 PM

Heres a number for a hairdresser, from the look of yours you'll need it.

It just needs washing and re-drying.

My hairdresser never dries it properly.

But I do respect your opinions.

Sir.

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:39 PM

Simon Jordan? :eek:

Eddie

pauldrulez

17-09-2009, 05:40 PM

I refuse to sign my loan contract with Charlton :hi:

If I can stay, i'll do a day trip to Amsterdam and bring some ganja back for the lads (and lasses)

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:40 PM

It just needs washing and re-drying.

My hairdresser never dries it properly.

But I do respect your opinions.

Sir.
Would you like to join the Manager and myself at my bar for a drink to bury the hatchet?

pauldrulez

17-09-2009, 05:41 PM

Eddie
Izzard?

(Off-topic, when I was 5 I was watching Noel's House Party. Eddie Izzard and Julian Clary were on. I wasn't sure if they were the same person or not. So yes, I have always been a wally)

pauldrulez

17-09-2009, 05:41 PM

Would you like to join the Manager and myself at my bar for a drink to bury the hatchet?
In my head?

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:41 PM

I refuse to sign my loan contract with Charlton :hi:

If I can stay, i'll do a day trip to Amsterdam and bring some ganja back for the lads (and lasses)

You can't refuse. They've paid us. Go and get injured then we can recall you.

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:42 PM

In my head?
I wasn't talking to you, besides, my bar is over 21's only.

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 05:43 PM

Would you like to join the Manager and myself at my bar for a drink to bury the hatchet?

Oh, OK. I'll have to wash my hair first though.

I'll have a Becks please :p

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:45 PM

Oh, OK. I'll have to wash my hair first though.

I'll have a Becks please :p

He won't be there.

peagle

17-09-2009, 05:45 PM

Has anyone else noticed how Barbara is always the one getting in squabbles??

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 05:46 PM

He won't be there.

Oh :(

San Miguel?

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 05:47 PM

Has anyone else noticed how Barbara is always the one getting in squabbles??

I beg your pardon?

Were you at training this morning at 8.00 am?

I think not.

Keep it schtum of you'll get a slap, sonny boy.

Oh. And get my boots cleaned.

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:48 PM

Oh :(

San Miguel?

You'll have a Screwdriver and be happy.

jazman

17-09-2009, 05:48 PM

Our new Spanish signing?

peagle

17-09-2009, 05:48 PM

I bloody well was there I just wasnt over with you guys posing, i was practising my conversions and drop goals for the big game on Saturday!

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 05:49 PM

You'll have a Screwdriver and be happy.

Could have been worse

:D

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:49 PM

Our new Spanish signing?
We were thinking about it, but our young loanee to Charlton has a "thing" for Spaniards, so he thought twice about it.

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 05:50 PM

I bloody well was there I just wasnt over with you guys posing, i was practising my conversions and drop goals for the big game on Saturday!

You seem to be a bit confused as to what game we're playing.

We don't use oval balls, you know.

Naff off to the Saracens or something.

:rolleyes:

Maidstoned Eagle

17-09-2009, 05:50 PM

I bloody well was there I just wasnt over with you guys posing, i was practising my conversions and drop goals for the big game on Saturday!

Matty Lawrence? Welcome to the club.

jazman

17-09-2009, 05:54 PM

We were thinking about it, but our young loanee to Charlton has a "thing" for Spaniards, so he thought twice about it.

Now you've loaned him get San MIguel in .. I hear he has a great tan ...

peagle

17-09-2009, 05:57 PM

You seem to be a bit confused as to what game we're playing.

We don't use oval balls, you know.

Naff off to the Saracens or something.

:rolleyes:
You never know what could happen on matchday! I just want to be prepared.

Barbara4003

17-09-2009, 06:00 PM

You never know what could happen on matchday! I just want to be prepared.

But you do know you can't handle the ball.

Right?