BBS Virtual Town FC [Archive]

jazman

12-09-2009, 09:47 PM

Ok, following today's disastrous result I have taken over the helm at BBS Virual Town FC and have had a massive clear out which includes the whole squad, Warnock and Jordan ... starting from scratch I'm the newly appointed player manager, an aging centre back ... Squad places available for the next match away to QPR on Tuesday ..... also places available at the club from top to bottom so looking to recruit. Place your applications here and lets get going. I know and sense we could all do better :p :) :D

UPDATE 26/11/09 - is it just coincidence that Palace have lost only once since this thread started???? :D

Eaglettie

12-09-2009, 09:57 PM

Ethel, Irene, Betty, Shirley, Mabel, Doris, Lil, Ada, Ena, Rose and Freda from Bromley's W.I.

Sorted :p

We'll win :p :D

jazman

12-09-2009, 10:04 PM

Tea and cake at half time?

Slimbloke'H'

12-09-2009, 10:07 PM

Ok, following today's disastrous result I have taken over the helm at BBS Virual Town FC and have had a massive clear out which includes the whole squad, Warnock and Jordan ... starting from scratch I'm th eplayer manager, an aging centre back ... Squad places available for the next match away to QPR on Tuesday ..... also places available at the club from top to bottom so looking to recruit. Place your applications here and lets get going. I know and sense we could all do better :p :) :D

Fair do's.

Every good centre back needs a partner and I'm happy to offer my services.

I'm very much a number six, mind - at 5'10" I'm not the tallest guy around but I read the game superbly. Think Mel Blyth...

I should really say I'm not, perhaps, quite as agile as I once was...

selhurstparkflyer

12-09-2009, 10:08 PM

Can I be the goalie please?

jazman

12-09-2009, 10:17 PM

Fair do's.

Every good centre back needs a partner and I'm happy to offer my services.

I'm very much a number six, mind - at 5'10" I'm not the tallest guy around but I read the game superbly. Think Mel Blyth...

I should really say I'm not, perhaps, quite as agile as I once was...

Sorry, number 6 jersey taken but I can offer you the number 5? Your credentials seem suited to the team I want to build ...

jazman

12-09-2009, 10:17 PM

Can I be the goalie please?

The number 1 jersey is handed to you fella ... :p

We have a squad of three so far ... will be tight to get a team out on Tuesday at this rate ...

pauldrulez

12-09-2009, 10:19 PM

Your winger is here :hi: I have skill, a first touch and able to pass to someone wearing the same shirt. So more use than anyone else on the Palace team.

I'm also happy to be the physio. I'll tell the players to get their arses off the floor and get them to carry on no matter the injury.

jazman

12-09-2009, 10:22 PM

Your winger is here :hi: I have skill, a first touch and able to pass to someone wearing the same shirt. So more use than anyone else on the Palace team.

I'm also happy to be the physio. I'll tell the players to get their arses off the floor and get them to carry on no matter the injury.

Interesting, a player physio role .. not sure how that would work but I'm open to suggestions ... left or right winger?

selhurstparkflyer

12-09-2009, 10:28 PM

He could fill both roles.

pauldrulez

12-09-2009, 10:32 PM

Spuff suggesting that I be the sandwich maker as well.

Slimbloke'H'

12-09-2009, 10:35 PM

Sorry, number 6 jersey taken but I can offer you the number 5? Your credentials seem suited to the team I want to build ...

I can play the 4 shirt role too (and right back) so I'll let you decide. :p

Asagaya_Eagle

12-09-2009, 11:43 PM

Can I be in there? I'm particularly slow and generally crap - suggest "in the hole"

Barbara4003

12-09-2009, 11:46 PM

Can I be the physio, please?

:angel:

the digger

12-09-2009, 11:48 PM

Left back in the Clint Hill mould or holding midfielder, reporting for duty.

Barbara4003

12-09-2009, 11:50 PM

Actually, can I be a striker, please?

I'm sure I could kick a ball into the goal.

It's really not that difficult.

:)

eddieskyclad

13-09-2009, 12:10 AM

I think I'm quite a handy right footed left back... though that's only because whenever I play football people say "next time that eddie guy should be left back at home because he's feckin useless"

Stellavista

13-09-2009, 12:13 AM

I'll grow a beard and develop an obstructive manner.
I will be managing the club's business affairs, and generally interfere in areas I know nothing about, during your period in administration.

Oh, and I am genuinely left-footed, which means I get into any team by default, no matter how crap I am.

art malice

13-09-2009, 12:26 AM

Can I be the administrator?

art malice

13-09-2009, 12:31 AM

Sorry, just winding you up :sob:

mouseboy

13-09-2009, 12:50 AM

can i be the rising youth keeper?

jlmatthews

13-09-2009, 01:01 AM

I'm 6'7"

I'll be a backup left footed center back.

hughff

13-09-2009, 01:39 AM

With your size, jl, I'm surprised Warnock hasn't already signed you for the number 9 shirt. He's the American Peter Crouch!

I wear the number 4 always, play CB by first choice but anywhere across the back or as defensive midfield, specialising in tenacious man to man marking and organising the defense

mrgins

13-09-2009, 02:05 AM

I'm the head coach. We'll be practising at 6a.m. sunday

Timbo

13-09-2009, 04:33 AM

Does the team need any insurance technicians?

thefox

13-09-2009, 06:09 AM

Wow ! Finally a team fatter than Peter Taylors. :o

jjeagle

13-09-2009, 06:21 AM

Can l be the old git, slightly pissed, watching from the stands? Good at shaking my head in disbelief and muttering to myself. V V experienced although l appreciate there could be a lot of candidates for this role

Nelson Muntz

13-09-2009, 07:33 AM

I'd like to be club secretary please.
Handling the fixtures, transfer details, FA, Football League and everything else that comes with the job.

jazman

13-09-2009, 10:34 AM

Thank you all for the interest. It has been decided that multi roles are available currently so that there is a chance to get the club up and running before the away match against QPR on Wednesday.

MrGins - can you report on how the training went this morning?

Manager; Jazman
Assistant;
Director of football; Stellavista
Head coach; MrGins
Coaches;
Chairman;
Board;
Club secretary applicants; Art Malice/ Nelson Muntz
Finance manager; Timbo
Celebrity supporters; Jjeagle
Physio applicants; Pauldrulez/ Barbara4003
Head of catering;
Scouts;

First Team Squad;
1. Selhurstparkflyer (Keeper)
2. Slimbloke 'H' (Defence)
3. Eddieskyclad (Defence)
4. Asagaya Eagle (Midfield)
5. Hughff (Defence)
6. Jazman (Defence)
7. Stellavista (Midfield)
8.
9.
10. Nathe (Striker)
11. Pauldrulez (Midfield)
12. The digger (Midfield)
13. Mouseboy (Keeper)
14. Jlmatthews (Defence)
15. Peagle (Midfield)
16. Little al (Defence)
17. Mickssis (Waterboy)
18.
19. Barbara4003 (Striker)

nathe

13-09-2009, 10:36 AM

I'll play up front

MicksSis

13-09-2009, 10:38 AM

I've just been told that I need to do some exercise.
Can I be a sub?

jazman

13-09-2009, 10:42 AM

I'll play up front

Good work Nathe. You need to form a close relationship with Barbara4003 .. ;) You are handed the number 10 shirt .... :p

little al

13-09-2009, 10:42 AM

I can be a sub only, because of my asthma, I cannot manage 90 mins.

BTW I am a bit rubbish.

jazman

13-09-2009, 10:44 AM

I've just been told that I need to do some exercise.
Can I be a sub?

Of course. You have a choice of squad numbers but what position?

jazman

13-09-2009, 10:45 AM

I can be a sub only, because of my asthma, I cannot manage 90 mins.

BTW I am a bit rubbish.

What position can I bring you in to make a difference with 30 seconds to go?

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 10:48 AM

As much as I would be proud to wear the No. 9 shirt, can I have No. 19, please?

Ta very much.

:)

MicksSis

13-09-2009, 10:49 AM

Of course. You have a choice of squad numbers but what position?

Gee thanks.:)

17 - please, as it is my birth-date.
Position - somewhere I don't have to do much running.

little al

13-09-2009, 10:49 AM

What position can I bring you in to make a difference with 30 seconds to go?

Wheezing striker or "take his legs away" defender.

little al

13-09-2009, 10:50 AM

Gee thanks.:)

17 - please, as it is my birth-date.
Position - somewhere I don't have to do much running.

You could cut the oranges up for half time.

MicksSis

13-09-2009, 10:51 AM

1f85

You could cut the oranges up for half time.

:D Good idea.

May I still though have a squad number?

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 10:51 AM

I've just been told that I need to do some exercise.
Can I be a sub?

Lesley, you could be the water bottle person.

That's a very worthwhile and important job.

:)

jazman

13-09-2009, 10:55 AM

Gee thanks.:)

17 - please, as it is my birth-date.
Position - somewhere I don't have to do much running.

Keepers don't have much running to do .... :p

peagle

13-09-2009, 10:55 AM

You need a utility midfielder? Rugby's my sport really so I might get a bit physical on the pitch and punches are a definite a couple of times a season (I will supply my own blood capsules don't worry). I have a bit of pace though and at 6'3" I'm tall enough to cause some problems storming into the box. I also once captained my U11's team so I have some real experience with leadership.

MicksSis

13-09-2009, 10:57 AM

Lesley, you could be the water bottle person.

That's a very worthwhile and important job.

:)

The waterboy!! - We all know what a hero he turned out to be.
Go on then, I'll volunteer to be waterboy and orange cutter.:D

jazman

13-09-2009, 11:00 AM

You need a utility midfielder? Rugby's my sport really so I might get a bit physical on the pitch and punches are a definite a couple of times a season (I will supply my own blood capsules don't worry). I have a bit of pace though and at 6'3" I'm tall enough to cause some problems storming into the box. I also once captained my U11's team so I have some real experience with leadership.

Is that an application for the currently vacant number 8 shirt?

peagle

13-09-2009, 11:00 AM

Is that an application for the currently vacant number 8 shirt?
I could never live up to THAT number!

little al

13-09-2009, 11:01 AM

The waterboy!! - We all know what a hero he turned out to be.
Go on then, I'll volunteer to be waterboy and orange cutter.:D

You might to get to have your initials on your shirt.

little al

13-09-2009, 11:02 AM

BTW As a sub, could I claim the no.27 shirt please?

MicksSis

13-09-2009, 11:05 AM

You might to get to have your initials on your shirt.
I am getting excited now.:D

calne eagle

13-09-2009, 11:09 AM

I'm absolutely useless, unfit, unprofessional in my approach, and a general embarrassment.

Can I be Matt Lawrence?

jazman

13-09-2009, 11:10 AM

Thank you all for the interest. It has been decided that multi roles are available currently so that there is a chance to get the club up and running before the away match against QPR on Wednesday.

MrGins - can you report on how the training went this morning?

Manager; Jazman
Assistant;
Director of football; Stellavista
Head coach; MrGins
Coaches;
Chairman;
Board;
Club secretary applicants; Art Malice/ Nelson Muntz
Finance manager; Timbo
Celebrity supporters; Jjeagle
Physio applicants; Pauldrulez/ Barbara4003
Catering; The digger/Jone-zee
Scouts;
Cheerleaders; Doris
PA; Maidstoned
Charity events; Little al

First Team Squad;
1. Selhurstparkflyer (Keeper)
2. Slimbloke 'H' (Defence)
3. Eddieskyclad (Defence)
4. Asagaya Eagle (Midfield)
5. Hughff (Defence)
6. Jazman (Defence)
7. Stellavista (Midfield)
8.
9. Sw16girl (Striker)
10. Nathe (Striker)
11. Pauldrulez (Midfield)
12. The digger (Midfield)
13. Mouseboy (Keeper)
14. Jlmatthews (Defence)
15. Peagle (Midfield)
16. Calne eagles (Defence)
17. Mickssis (Waterboy)
18. Blazey (any position)
19. Barbara4003 (Striker)
27. Little al (Defence)

jazman

13-09-2009, 11:11 AM

Little al squad number granted ... Calne Eagle added .. :p

little al

13-09-2009, 11:12 AM

Can I nominate the Digger to double up as the caterer?

little al

13-09-2009, 11:13 AM

And Maidstoned to be PA Announcer?

jazman

13-09-2009, 11:13 AM

If you think he will accept ...

little al

13-09-2009, 11:13 AM

And Doris as cheerleader?

jazman

13-09-2009, 11:14 AM

Oh, I like you style Little Al ...

little al

13-09-2009, 11:15 AM

If you think he will accept ...

He makes great pies and celebratory cakes, for when we win the league.

little al

13-09-2009, 11:16 AM

Oh, I like you style Little Al ...

Eh? I still wear Farahs.

jone-zee

13-09-2009, 11:18 AM

Can I run the Food Stall?

little al

13-09-2009, 11:19 AM

If I may be allowed to double up, may I please be the bingo caller on the charity night?

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 11:28 AM

Who's going to be our Chairman?

We need someone with a fair bit of dosh.

I don't come cheap, you know.

And I want a hefty goal bonus.

:)

sw16girl

13-09-2009, 11:31 AM

Can I go for the No 9 - I was once the top scorer in the London French banks sport day ladies five a side tournament. And my dad trialled with Jimmy Hill for Fulham so footbal talent is in the blood :D

oh and my vote is Richard for Chairman

blazey_cpfc

13-09-2009, 11:32 AM

Can i be in someones team please. I do any position ;)

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 11:32 AM

Can I go for the No 9 - I was once the top scorer in the London French banks sport day ladies five a side tournament. And my dad trialled with Jimmy Hill for Fulham so footbal talent is in the blood :D

I was rather hoping you would be our Chairperson.

But you could be a playing/chairperson.

:p

jazman

13-09-2009, 11:36 AM

Updated :p We need a number 8 though ...

Doris.x

13-09-2009, 11:42 AM

I could be a linesman for the team. All teams seem to have a linesman on their side

blazey_cpfc

13-09-2009, 11:42 AM

I'll be number 8 :)

kabbott

13-09-2009, 11:43 AM

I 've following French football, obviously, for a while now. I think I could bring a bit of tactical ''savoir-faire'' to the training ground, having witnessed some of Raymond Domenech's greatest moments.
As a second possibility, I could also play CF. I'm not very tall, got a good first touch, I'm not afraid to take players on, I can score goals, and I'm actually quite good in the air, and, above all, I'm modest.

pauldrulez

13-09-2009, 11:45 AM

Can i be in someones team please. I do any position ;)
:lux:

little al

13-09-2009, 11:46 AM

I could be a linesman for the team. All teams seem to have a linesman on their side

Thats a great one, we need a bent lino.

I would vote Beatleboy as ref, but he wouldn't be bent enough.

Doris.x

13-09-2009, 11:46 AM

Can I make the teas at FT too.

I'm a good tea maker

art malice

13-09-2009, 12:12 PM

Club secretary applicants; Art Malice/ Nelson Muntz

Nelson do you want to do a special dictation head to header? My shorthand's not what it was but I have got the most incredible telephone manner.

Or we could be really modern and do a job share?

jjeagle

13-09-2009, 02:07 PM

Very honoured to accept the position of one of the celebrity supporters.

However, if l have to start sticking my hand up a fluffy bears arse, l will have no alternative other than to resign immediately.

mrgins

13-09-2009, 03:40 PM

As much as I would be proud to wear the No. 9 shirt, can I have No. 19, please?

Ta very much.

:)
The "percentage" of you getting that one are slim...rather like your derriere. However, if you've been lying about your posterior measurement, maybe you should go in goal and just sit there:p
I like the idea of Nathe being in the peter crouch role:p
Can I have 10 mil to go buy some players? I promise I won't leave the country

mrgins

13-09-2009, 03:42 PM

I'm absolutely useless, unfit, unprofessional in my approach, and a general embarrassment.

You're perfect to be the teams sports psychologist

mrgins

13-09-2009, 03:45 PM

Thank you all for the interest. It has been decided that multi roles are available currently so that there is a chance to get the club up and running before the away match against QPR on Wednesday.

MrGins - can you report on how the training went this morning?

Of course, sir. First course was eggs benedict, followed by fried eggs, sausage links, saturated bacon and gravy fries. Then, just for a surprise for the lads, who actually never showed up, there was dollops of mashed potatoes and ice cream. My theory is to get the team big enough that no one will squeeze past us:p

mrgins

13-09-2009, 03:51 PM

I'm a little concerned about two defenders with the words "slim" and "little" in their names. Also, a goallie with the word "mouse" in his name. Where's Butch these days?
Btw, I still haven't received the 10 mil

mrgins

13-09-2009, 03:53 PM

Can i be in someones team please. I do any position ;)
Of course. But if you move too far forward, someone will have to come up to cover you from behind

mrgins

13-09-2009, 03:55 PM

And Doris as cheerleader?
You disgust me! Maybe that's why I like you so much. Please report to my orifice, oops, I meant office when everyone's gone home

mrgins

13-09-2009, 04:51 PM

I seem to have a kill effect on threads:sob:
This one looked so good too

little al

13-09-2009, 05:28 PM

This is a great thread and needs to be carried on.

I have seen a picture of Doris in a miniskirt, before I was born, and if its not too sick to say, as her son, she had great pins.

the digger

13-09-2009, 05:38 PM

Training hard to get promoted to the vacant no. 8 spot.

peagle

13-09-2009, 05:45 PM

Guys, just got back from my own personal training session at the gym and I'm feeling pretty up for this game wednesday :D

little al

13-09-2009, 05:47 PM

I have eaten too much, but have preceded my meal by 11 miles on the bike.

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 05:54 PM

I've been training. I went out on my bike and .... oh, that's it.

:)

Eaglettie

13-09-2009, 06:30 PM

I'll sort the catering arrangements out Jay :p

jazman

13-09-2009, 06:54 PM

Very honoured to accept the position of one of the celebrity supporters.

However, if l have to start sticking my hand up a fluffy bears arse, l will have no alternative other than to resign immediately.

You could choose to be an actibe tranny or a fat female comedienne ... ;)

jazman

13-09-2009, 06:56 PM

Of course, sir. First course was eggs benedict, followed by fried eggs, sausage links, saturated bacon and gravy fries. Then, just for a surprise for the lads, who actually never showed up, there was dollops of mashed potatoes and ice cream. My theory is to get the team big enough that no one will squeeze past us:p

I like your thinking Mr Gins .. we need to be ready for those Q's, P's and R's ....

MicksSis

13-09-2009, 06:57 PM

I'll buy some oranges and new water bottles.
Who do I give the receipts to?

jazman

13-09-2009, 07:01 PM

I really need to do an update, we have the start of well run organisation here .. :)

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 07:02 PM

Have we got a Chairman yet?

selhurstparkflyer

13-09-2009, 07:05 PM

Richard

jazman

13-09-2009, 07:05 PM

No one has come forward yet ... maybe we should start a nomination process ...

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 07:09 PM

No one has come forward yet ... maybe we should start a nomination process ...

Yes, good idea.

I nominate either SW16girl or Maz.

:)

sw16girl

13-09-2009, 07:13 PM

I think Maz is far more qualified than me -

enormous ego
always thinks he is right
Never changes his mind
ah............

OK maybe we are equally qualified - I still think Richard is the only one with enough dosh to turn us round into a winning team - someone has to pay for all that food.

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 07:19 PM

I think Maz is far more qualified than me -

enormous ego
always thinks he is right
Never changes his mind
ah............

OK maybe we are equally qualified - I still think Richard is the only one with enough dosh to turn us round into a winning team - someone has to pay for all that food.

Well, we don't need just one chairman.

We could have a little consortium of you, Maz and Richard.

You could sort out all the legal wranglings we're bound to get in.

Maz can, well, just be Maz really.

And Richard can dish out the dosh.

:)

sw16girl

13-09-2009, 07:22 PM

Well, we don't need just one chairman.

We could have a little consortium of you, Maz and Richard.

You could sort out all the legal wranglings we're bound to get in.

Maz can, well, just be Maz really.

And Richard can dish out the dosh.

:)

Ok - I'm in if they are :)

But does that mean that my sucessful career as a striker has to come to an end or can I combine the two?

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 07:26 PM

Ok - I'm in if they are :)

But does that mean that my sucessful career as a striker has to come to an end or can I combine the two?

I'd have thought that seeing as you don't have to devote all your time to Chairpersoning, the Manager might see fit to let you play, too :)

Or at the very least, you could give yourself a shirt with your number and name on it :p

jazman

13-09-2009, 07:30 PM

I like the sound of a dodgy consortium ... would make our virtual team and virtual dosh a potential resounding success ...

I'm concentrating on the football though ... I have a team to pick for Tuesday ;)

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 07:31 PM

I like the sound of a dodgy consortium ... would make our virtual team and virtual dosh a potential resounding success ...

I'm concentrating on the football though ... I have a team to pick for Tuesday ;)

What's our Stadium called and do our Chairpeople actually own it?

jazman

13-09-2009, 07:32 PM

Ok - I'm in if they are :)

But does that mean that my sucessful career as a striker has to come to an end or can I combine the two?

At the moment we are taking what we can but the more people that come on board people will be asked to take just one position in the club ...

jazman

13-09-2009, 07:34 PM

What's our Stadium called and do our Chairpeople actually own it?

I think it is something to be decided once the board are in place but a nice little sponsorship deal with a rich company sounds like a plan ... again, nominations welcome I would say ...

At the moment I've hired a pitch on the Purley Way for our first home match in charg ... I just hope it doesn't get double booked ... :p

jazman

13-09-2009, 07:40 PM

Update

Manager; Jazman
Assistant;
Director of football; Stellavista
Head coach; MrGins
Coaches; Kabbott
Chairman;
Board;
Club secretary applicants; Art Malice/ Nelson Muntz
Finance manager; Timbo
Celebrity supporters; Jjeagle
Physio applicants; Pauldrulez/ Barbara4003
Catering; The digger/Jone-zee/ Doris/ Eaglettie
Scouts;
Cheerleaders;
Club linesman; Doris
PA; Maidstoned
Charity events; Little al

First Team Squad;
1. Selhurstparkflyer (Keeper)
2. Slimbloke 'H' (Defence)
3. Eddieskyclad (Defence)
4. Asagaya Eagle (Midfield)
5. Hughff (Defence)
6. Jazman (Defence)
7. Stellavista (Midfield)
8. Blazey (Utility)
9. Sw16girl (Striker)
10. Nathe (Striker)
11. Pauldrulez (Midfield)
12. The digger (Midfield)
13. Mouseboy (Keeper)
14. Jlmatthews (Defence)
15. Peagle (Midfield)
16. Calne eagles (Defence)
17. Mickssis (Waterboy)
18. Kabbott (Striker)
19. Barbara4003 (Striker)
20.
27. Little al (Defence)

jazman

13-09-2009, 07:47 PM

The "percentage" of you getting that one are slim...rather like your derriere. However, if you've been lying about your posterior measurement, maybe you should go in goal and just sit there:p
I like the idea of Nathe being in the peter crouch role:p
Can I have 10 mil to go buy some players? I promise I won't leave the country

Who needs to buy when we have the talent of the BBS at our disposal???

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 07:52 PM

The "percentage" of you getting that one are slim...rather like your derriere. However, if you've been lying about your posterior measurement, maybe you should go in goal and just sit there:p
I like the idea of Nathe being in the peter crouch role:p
Can I have 10 mil to go buy some players? I promise I won't leave the country

I've only just noticed this :eek:

I would be useless in goal due to the fact that my derriere is no way big enough to cover the goal area.

I'll stick to being a striker and wearing Tom's old shirt with pride. It has to be Tom's old shirt, by the way. One that he has previously worn.

And preferrably not washed.

;)

jazman

13-09-2009, 07:55 PM

I've only just noticed this :eek:

I would be useless in goal due to the fact that my derriere is no way big enough to cover the goal area.

I'll stick to being a striker and wearing Tom's old shirt with pride. It has to be Tom's old shirt, by the way. One that he has previously worn.

And preferrably not washed.

;)

But you have to either have a surname of Soares or have Sores I would think ... :o

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 08:11 PM

But you have to either have a surname of Soares or have Sores I would think ... :o

I'll change my name by deed poll.

Our nominated Chairperson SW16girl can arrange that and do that paperwork for me.

:)

jazman

13-09-2009, 08:18 PM

As Sw16girl is the only one who may have expressed the slightest interest we can go with her ... she now has the unenvious task of getting financial backing ...

I'll chat with Spearmint Rhino's tomorrow to see if they are interested ... :p

peagle

13-09-2009, 08:19 PM

As Sw16girl is the only one who may have expressed the slightest interest we can go with her ... she now has the unenvious task of getting financial backing ...

I'll chat with Spearmint Rhino's tomorrow to see if they are interested ... :p
I hear durex are keen to sponsor

peagle

13-09-2009, 08:20 PM

OR lamboughini (though I don;t know that I can spell it correctly :( )

sw16girl

13-09-2009, 08:25 PM

Actually there is a company very local to where I live that I think might be interested - I can just see their name blazoned across the players shirts

http://www.ukdata.com/company-credit-reports/R.-SOLE-VEHICLE-RENTALS-LIMITED.html

jazman

13-09-2009, 08:25 PM

I think Durex would be more suitable ... :D

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 08:27 PM

Actually there is a company very local to where I live that I think might be interested - I can just see their name blazoned across the players shirts

http://www.ukdata.com/company-credit-reports/R.-SOLE-VEHICLE-RENTALS-LIMITED.html

:lux:

jazman

13-09-2009, 08:32 PM

Actually there is a company very local to where I live that I think might be interested - I can just see their name blazoned across the players shirts

http://www.ukdata.com/company-credit-reports/R.-SOLE-VEHICLE-RENTALS-LIMITED.html

Ideal. Get them on board ... :D

mrgins

13-09-2009, 08:34 PM

I'd have thought that seeing as you don't have to devote all your time to Chairpersoning, the Manager might see fit to let you play, too :)

Or at the very least, you could give yourself a shirt with your number and name on it :p
Oi! I'm the head coach and I decide who plays!

don't I?:o

mrgins

13-09-2009, 08:35 PM

What's our Stadium called and do our Chairpeople actually own it?
stadium? oh crap. Erm, is purley way available on saturday?

mrgins

13-09-2009, 08:36 PM

I think it is something to be decided once the board are in place but a nice little sponsorship deal with a rich company sounds like a plan ... again, nominations welcome I would say ...

At the moment I've hired a pitch on the Purley Way for our first home match in charg ... I just hope it doesn't get double booked ... :p
ooer....spooky!

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 08:37 PM

Oi! I'm the head coach and I decide who plays!

don't I?:o

The players are revolting

:lux:

peagle

13-09-2009, 08:37 PM

WALKING DOWN THE PUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLEEEEEEYYYYYYYY WAY
TOOOOOOO SEE THE VIRTUAL TOWN FC ACESSSSSSSSS :D

peagle

13-09-2009, 08:38 PM

The players are revolting

:lux:
speak for yourself ;)

mrgins

13-09-2009, 08:38 PM

OR lamboughini (though I don;t know that I can spell it correctly :( )
thats ok...lamborghini don't know how to spell chrystal palace

mrgins

13-09-2009, 08:40 PM

The players are revolting

:lux:
not true. Just Little Al

mrgins

13-09-2009, 08:41 PM

Am I getting my 10 mil soon or do I have to beg?

jazman

13-09-2009, 09:04 PM

Errrr .. doesn't the manager pick the team?

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 09:04 PM

I can sense unrest in the camp.

mrgins

13-09-2009, 09:08 PM

Errrr .. doesn't the manager pick the team?
you be quiet. I'm in charge here!

ardeo

13-09-2009, 09:14 PM

Can i be a scout/ agent please, i really would just like to scout players, but would like the money from being an agent!

peagle

13-09-2009, 09:15 PM

Can i be a scout/ agent please
no

jazman

13-09-2009, 09:15 PM

you be quiet. I'm in charge here!

Errr, head coach means exactly that ..... just let me know who you think deserves a first eleven place and I'll decide ... :p

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 09:16 PM

Errr, head coach means exactly that ..... just let me know who you think deserves a first eleven place and I'll decide ... :p

Ooh. Pick me, pick me :D

jazman

13-09-2009, 09:17 PM

Can i be a scout/ agent please, i really would just like to scout players, but would like the money from being an agent!

Being a scout and agent would be breaking some sort of rule wouldn't it? :D I don't wnat the club to suffer from a Chelsea kind of transfer ban .. ;)

peagle

13-09-2009, 09:17 PM

Errr, head coach means exactly that ..... just let me know who you think deserves a first eleven place and I'll decide ... :p
I cant offer you any monetary bribes, but I can offer you Peaglebucks :D

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 09:18 PM

What's our kit like?

Have we got a kitman?

We're not very prepared seeing as we have our first game on Tuesday.

:confused:

peagle

13-09-2009, 09:19 PM

What's our kit like?

Have we got a kitman?

We're not very prepared seeing as we have our first game on Tuesday.

:confused:
You do complain a lot for a 'squad player'

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 09:21 PM

You do complain a lot for a 'squad player'

I like things sorted and all in order.

Anyway, Morrison was my mentor. What do you expect?

:)

peagle

13-09-2009, 09:22 PM

I like things sorted and all in order.

Anyway, Morrison was my mentor. What do you expect?

:)
I didnt like him much, we might have to have a training ground punch up one day, sorry :(

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 09:23 PM

I didnt like him much, we might have to have a training ground punch up one day, sorry :(

Oh :(

Can't we just have a coffee and discuss it philosophically?

I'll buy the coffees. Or tea. Whichever you prefer.

:)

peagle

13-09-2009, 09:25 PM

Oh :(

Can't we just have a coffee and discuss it philosophically?

I'll buy the coffees. Or tea. Whichever you prefer.

:)
Sorry but how we do it in rugby is like this:

I'm gonna beat the stuffing out of you on the pitch, get sent away for 10 minutes, come back on and take some sneaky little digs and some hard tackles, then shake hands when the game ends and go out and get smashed :D

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 09:26 PM

Sorry but how we do it in rugby is like this:

I'm gonna beat the stuffing out of you on the pitch, get sent away for 10 minutes, come back on and take some sneaky little digs and some hard tackles, then shake hands when the game ends and go out and get smashed :D

But we're on the same team :confused:

I'm telling the Manager about you.

peagle

13-09-2009, 09:28 PM

But we're on the same team :confused:

I'm telling the Manager about you.
WIMP, you wont last long on my team! Have we had our initiation evening yet???

jazman

13-09-2009, 09:29 PM

What's our kit like?

Have we got a kitman?

We're not very prepared seeing as we have our first game on Tuesday.

:confused:

I have 11 orange bibs which will be more than useful for the QPR match ...

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 09:30 PM

I have 11 orange bibs which will be more than useful for the QPR match ...

:p

Peagle is being horrid, by the way.

:angel:

peagle

13-09-2009, 09:31 PM

:p

Peagle is being horrid, by the way.

:angel:
OMG YOU SOOOOOO DID NOT JUST TELL ON ME!!!!

Someone's clothes are getting hidden when they have a shower after training tomorrow!!!!

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 09:35 PM

OMG YOU SOOOOOO DID NOT JUST TELL ON ME!!!!

Someone's clothes are getting hidden when they have a shower after training tomorrow!!!!

:D

jazman

13-09-2009, 09:35 PM

I think I may have to start handing out fines here ... ;)

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 09:36 PM

1f44

He started it

:sob:

ardeo

13-09-2009, 09:36 PM

I'll just be a scout then please

peagle

13-09-2009, 09:37 PM

I think I may have to start handing out fines here ... ;)
Obviously an excellent decision since you are probably the greatest manager ever and i dont think you could possibly make a mistake, how much are you going to fine her?

jazman

13-09-2009, 09:38 PM

And I don't like kiss arses ... ;)

Barbara4003

13-09-2009, 09:39 PM

And I don't like kiss arses ... ;)

:lux:

:angel:

peagle

13-09-2009, 09:39 PM

And I don't like kiss arses ... ;)
Thats very wise of you not to sir

jazman

13-09-2009, 09:39 PM

I'll just be a scout then please

:p

May I have your first scouting report in the morning please? Scour the BBS for talent and let me know what you find. Some of the disagreeing players may have to be cut this early on ....

jazman

13-09-2009, 09:43 PM

Update

Manager; Jazman
Director of football; Stellavista
Head coach; MrGins
Coaches; Kabbott
Club secretary applicants; Art Malice/ Nelson Muntz
Finance manager; Timbo
Celebrity supporters; Jjeagle
Physio applicants; Pauldrulez/ Barbara4003
Catering contracts; The digger/Jone-zee/ Doris/ Eaglettie
Scouts; Ardeo
Club linesman; Doris
PA; Maidstoned
Charity events; Little al

First Team Squad;
1. Selhurstparkflyer (Keeper)
2. Slimbloke 'H' (Defence)
3. Eddieskyclad (Defence)
4. Asagaya Eagle (Midfield)
5. Hughff (Defence)
6. Jazman (Defence)
7. Stellavista (Midfield)
8. Blazey (Utility)
9. Sw16girl (Striker)
10. Nathe (Striker)
11. Pauldrulez (Midfield)
12. The digger (Midfield)
13. Mouseboy (Keeper)
14. Jlmatthews (Defence)
15. Peagle (Midfield)
16. Calne eagles (Defence)
17. Mickssis (Waterboy)
18. Kabbott (Striker)
19. Barbara4003 (Striker)
27. Little al (Defence)

Shipp Ahoy!

13-09-2009, 09:57 PM

I used to play in goal when I was a wee lad if that helps :)

Even if I did let in about 5 in the charity match a couple of years ago (I was injured!)

Oh and I will take 28 if poss!

calne eagle

13-09-2009, 09:57 PM

I'm happy to be involved, boss, I'll train hard and commit myself to the team and hope I can play my part.

Oh shit - I forgot, I'm Matt Lawrence. I'll be a scruffy git who can't give a shit. But who writes quite well.

Mal Adjusted

13-09-2009, 10:30 PM

I'm happy to be involved, boss, I'll train hard and commit myself to the team and hope I can play my part.

Oh shit - I forgot, I'm Matt Lawrence. I'll be a scruffy git who can't give a shit. But who writes quite well.

Two sentences with a dodgy comma in each, and a full stop when a colon or even a semi-colon would have been better.

Sorry Doc, but you're no Matt Lawrence.

mrgins

13-09-2009, 11:49 PM

I have 11 orange bibs which will be more than useful for the QPR match ...
good:p This means we won't splash our pre-match meal on our shirts

mrgins

13-09-2009, 11:50 PM

Two sentences with a dodgy comma in each, and a full stop when a colon or even a semi-colon would have been better.

Sorry Doc, but you're no Matt Lawrence.
Excellent! We have a press agent already:p

mrgins

13-09-2009, 11:51 PM

can we fire the manager. Seems like I'm doing all the work.
Btw, did someone say which tuesday we have our game?

jjeagle

14-09-2009, 06:12 AM

Although the publicity would be good for my image at the moment following on from that incident in a local restaurant ( Effes Kebabs-you know who you are:veryangry), l will not be able to sit with the fans at QPR,

I will now have to endure the hospitality of the Directors box following some
minor mobbing at a previous match. it doesnt matter how sweetly the little
girl asked! I cannot do autographs whilst carrying a case of Buckfast.

I am also in talks with a MAJOR high street retailer about opening a new chain of branches. I will be donating all, after ex's,my fees to the new
consortium so watch out for any Poundlands opening near you:cool:

(Help! I am starting to enjoy this.)

sw16girl

14-09-2009, 06:24 AM

Although the publicity would be good for my image at the moment following on from that incident in a local restaurant ( Effes Kebabs-you know who you are:veryangry), l will not be able to sit with the fans at QPR,

I will now have to endure the hospitality of the Directors box following some
minor mobbing at a previous match. it doesnt matter how sweetly the little
girl asked! I cannot do autographs whilst carrying a case of Buckfast.

I am also in talks with a MAJOR high street retailer about opening a new chain of branches. I will be donating all, after ex's,my fees to the new
consortium so watch out for any Poundlands opening near you:cool:

(Help! I am starting to enjoy this.)

Good man - would you like to become a vice president of the club? - you will get as much publicity as we can give you for free and a seat in the Directors Box in perpetutity. You will get your name in all the programmes and first dibs at publicity with the players - in fact you can chose any of the players as your personal valet for enough cash.

little al

14-09-2009, 06:33 AM

1f7e

Can I nominate Deanchilds as the valet for all the players and staffs cars, also the official team bus.

SexualChocolate

14-09-2009, 06:35 AM

I should have the no 8 shirt. I'm a box-to-box midfielder. I taught Stevie G everything he knows. I'll comfortably get 15 goals a season from midfield.

I also think i should be captain too.

nathe

14-09-2009, 06:43 AM

I also think i should be captain too.

Well i wouldn't listen to you.

calne eagle

14-09-2009, 06:51 AM

Can I nominate Deanchilds as the valet for all the players and staffs cars, also the official team bus.

I'm not sure he has the time, what with the daily drive up to Coventry to lick Clinton's car clean while he's training.

the digger

14-09-2009, 06:53 AM

I think someone needs to explain to Peagle that the differences between football and peanut hugging extend beyond the field of play.

calne eagle

14-09-2009, 06:53 AM

in fact you can chose any of the players as your personal valet for enough cash.

a: I'm not sure I want to be prey to this.

b: Would you let Matt Lawrence be your personal valet? He, sorry, I, can't even sort him, sorry, myself out properly.

Barbara4003

14-09-2009, 07:04 AM

I'm not sure he has the time, what with the daily drive up to Coventry to lick Clinton's car clean while he's training.

:D :lux: :lux:

Maidstoned Eagle

14-09-2009, 07:14 AM

I´ll run BBS Virtual Town FC Radio if you want.

calne eagle

14-09-2009, 07:15 AM

I'm happy to be involved, boss, I'll train hard and commit myself to the team and hope I can play my part.

Oh shit - I forgot, I'm Matt Lawrence. I'll be a scruffy git who can't give a shit. But who writes quite well

Two sentences with a dodgy comma in each, and a full stop when a colon or even a semi-colon would have been better.

Sorry Doc, but you're no Matt Lawrence.

Guilty as charged, occifer, but you didn't understand my attempt to mimic the creaking punctuation of the professional footballer. Anyway, do you really think my (ML's) pieces are published without subediting? And it is nowadays quite common for sentences to start with a conjunction; language must evolve, notwithstanding fossilised individuals such as your self. So I shall carry on doing it. And feel quite justified in so doing. I suppose this is something up with which you will not put. I also suppose you will cling on to ageing grammatical principles, even when they produce ridiculous constructions such as the well-known example in the previous sentence. Have you thought of becoming German? - you might be happier.

anyway i am the mighty matt lawrence and will write like e e cummings if i wish to.

Or subvert all; known - punctuation rules!

Orr iggnawer ortherdocks speling.

oR IgnoRe upPer anD lowEr cAse coNveNTIons.

nathe

14-09-2009, 07:20 AM

If i'm the peter crouch type player who is the nippy striker partnering me up front.

Barbara4003

14-09-2009, 07:28 AM

If i'm the peter crouch type player who is the nippy striker partnering me up front.

Me

:lux:

SexualChocolate

14-09-2009, 07:39 AM

Well i wouldn't listen to you.
Then i'd beat you like the bitch you are.

Slimbloke'H'

14-09-2009, 07:43 AM

I see I've been eased sideways to right back. Not that i mind of course (see C. Hill for inspiration), but it should be noted that if you're looking for your full backs to bomb forward on a regular basis I might require some sort of motorised assistance.

On the flip side, I can still do kicking people up in the air spectacularly well...

nathe

14-09-2009, 07:44 AM

Then i'd beat you like the bitch you are.

Bring it on. Don't go crying to mummy when i kick you arse

SexualChocolate

14-09-2009, 07:46 AM

Bring it on. Don't go crying to mummy when i kick you arse

Pfft! You have birds as bodyguards. You're the biggest jessie i know! :D

jazman

14-09-2009, 07:50 AM

I was up until the early hours deciding on tactics and personnel for teh QPR match this week, little thanks to my head coach who has provided me with no information what so ever ... I may start looking for another ... but dont' say anything .. ;)

jazman

14-09-2009, 07:51 AM

I´ll run BBS Virtual Town FC Radio if you want.

:p You were pencilled in as the PA announcer already following Little Al nominating you

jazman

14-09-2009, 07:52 AM

I should have the no 8 shirt. I'm a box-to-box midfielder. I taught Stevie G everything he knows. I'll comfortably get 15 goals a season from midfield.

I also think i should be captain too.

Sorry, Blazey has taken that squad number as she said she can do any position. That offer simply betters anything else .. :o

I can offer you a squad number above 19?

nathe

14-09-2009, 07:53 AM

Pfft! You have birds as bodyguards. You're the biggest jessie i know! :D

They would kick you arse. They have been specially trained by the KGB.

nathe

14-09-2009, 07:54 AM

I was up until the early hours deciding on tactics and personnel for teh QPR match this week, little thanks to my head coach who has provided me with no information what so ever ... I may start looking for another ... but dont' say anything .. ;)

So can you announce the team yet?

jazman

14-09-2009, 07:54 AM

can we fire the manager. Seems like I'm doing all the work.
Btw, did someone say which tuesday we have our game?

:eek: Since when do managers get fired by coaches? You're treading on thin ice already and we haven't had our first match yet ...

SexualChocolate

14-09-2009, 07:56 AM

Sorry, Blazey has taken that squad number as she said she can do any position. That offer simply betters anything else .. :o

I can offer you a squad number above 19?

:rolleyes: Ok, I'll take no 24. I still expect to be captain and classed as one of the 'untouchables' in the team though.

SexualChocolate

14-09-2009, 07:57 AM

They would kick you arse. They have been specially trained by the KGB.

Ooh, kinky girl bureau? I'll get the first plane to AD. See you in a few hours. :p

jazman

14-09-2009, 07:58 AM

:rolleyes: Ok, I'll take no 24. I still expect to be captain and classed as one of the 'untouchables' in the team though.

No pressure on the manager then .. decision on captain will be made tomorrow. In the meantime, players should nominate themselves and reasons why .. :p

Maidstoned Eagle

14-09-2009, 07:59 AM

:eek: Since when do managers get fired by coaches? You're treading on thin ice already and we haven't had our first match yet ...
Perhaps you wanna sort out the two twits you got up front, they sound like Adebayor and Bendtner.

SexualChocolate

14-09-2009, 08:01 AM

No pressure on the manager then .. decision on captain will be made tomorrow. In the meantime, players should nominate themselves and reasons why .. :p

No point.

I'll be your best player. I'll be your best looking player. If i'm not the captain i'll stage a sit-in on the pitch at Birmingham and do a piece in the Sun telling them that you tried to touch me in the showers.

jazman

14-09-2009, 08:01 AM

Perhaps you wanna sort out the two twits you got up front, they sound like Adebayor and Bendtner.

Hmmm yes, that's something that has been bugging me. I get a sense of what is going on here though. First it's Barbara and Peagle and then it's Barbara and Nathe ... common theme in there somewhere ...

CPFC Cheerleader Observer

14-09-2009, 08:01 AM

I'll take the number 69 squad number thanks.

I'm happy to be a super-sub since the starting 11 squad numbers are taken.

I'll be brought on to perform a late spurt, get rough in the box, get stuck in and i always go down :p

jazman

14-09-2009, 08:05 AM

No point.

I'll be your best player. I'll be your best looking player. If i'm not the captain i'll stage a sit-in on the pitch at Birmingham and do a piece in the Sun telling them that you tried to touch me in the showers.

You sound perfect. :p

Maidstoned Eagle

14-09-2009, 08:05 AM

No point.

I'll be your best player. I'll be your best looking player. If i'm not the captain i'll stage a sit-in on the pitch at Birmingham and do a piece in the Sun telling them that you tried to touch me in the showers.
I thought you´d play the race card.

jazman

14-09-2009, 08:06 AM

I'll take the number 69 squad number thanks.

I'm happy to be a super-sub since the starting 11 squad numbers are taken.

I'll be brought on to perform a late spurt, get rough in the box, get stuck in and i always go down :p

Welcome to the the team. Just stay away from my wife ... :o

SexualChocolate

14-09-2009, 08:06 AM

I thought you´d play the race card.

Shh! I was saving that in case he came up with a good reason not to make me captain.

I'll use that when i engineer my move to Man City.

jazman

14-09-2009, 08:06 AM

I thought you´d play the race card.

That's his insurance ... ;)

SexualChocolate

14-09-2009, 08:08 AM

You sound perfect. :p

Woo hoo!

Now as my first move as captain, i want you to drop Nathe.

Maidstoned Eagle

14-09-2009, 08:10 AM

Shh! I was saving that in case he came up with a good reason not to make me captain.

I'll use that when i engineer my move to Man City.

And,later in your career, an excuse for being a crap manager.

jazman

14-09-2009, 08:10 AM

Woo hoo!

Now as my first move as captain, i want you to drop Nathe.

Hold on, I choose the team thank you ... but your comments have been noted ;)

nathe

14-09-2009, 08:12 AM

You sound perfect. :p

How could you make him captain. We'd be better off with captain birdseye rather than this idiot.

Maidstoned Eagle

14-09-2009, 08:14 AM

Hold on, I choose the team thank you ... but your comments have been noted ;)
I think you´ve opened a can of worms and will be making SC the scapegoat for any future problems, on and off the pitch.

jazman

14-09-2009, 08:18 AM

I think you´ve opened a can of worms and will be making SC the scapegoat for any future problems, on and off the pitch.

No comment .... ;)

Maidstoned Eagle

14-09-2009, 08:19 AM

No comment .... ;)
Thats ok, I´ll just fabricate.

jazman

14-09-2009, 08:23 AM

238e

Thats ok, I´ll just fabricate.

When is your first show? I'll give you an exclusive if you need it .. ;)

Barbara4003

14-09-2009, 08:25 AM

Hmmm yes, that's something that has been bugging me. I get a sense of what is going on here though. First it's Barbara and Peagle and then it's Barbara and Nathe ... common theme in there somewhere ...

But I've been the innocent party in both events.

It's nothing to do with me, these ego-boosting men.

I'd make a good captain.

:)

Maidstoned Eagle

14-09-2009, 08:25 AM

Whens the first game? I have to set up an expensive Pay to Listen service, that no one can listen to because of a dodgy wire first.

jazman

14-09-2009, 08:27 AM

Tomorrow away to QPR. The coach leaves at 5pm. The whole squad goes no matter whether they are chosen in the team or not.

Barbara4003

14-09-2009, 08:28 AM

Tomorrow away to QPR. The coach leaves at 5pm. The whole squad goes no matter whether they are chosen in the team or not.

I get travel sick on coaches.

Can I drive myself there, please?

I'll get there early and have the kettle on and some nice biscuits on a plate.

:)

Maidstoned Eagle

14-09-2009, 08:28 AM

Tomorrow away to QPR. The coach leaves at 5pm. The whole squad goes no matter whether they are chosen in the team or not.
OK, I´ll be taking subscriptions then.

nathe

14-09-2009, 08:32 AM

Can i sit at the back of the coach playing poker

jazman

14-09-2009, 08:38 AM

I get travel sick on coaches.

Can I drive myself there, please?

I'll get there early and have the kettle on and some nice biscuits on a plate.

:)

Sure. But games further away I may have a problem with.

Can you get some of those bakewell slices in for me please :)

nathe

14-09-2009, 08:40 AM

And can you get me a couple of tarts

jazman

14-09-2009, 08:41 AM

Can i sit at the back of the coach playing poker

It will be banned as soon as I sense that it's effecting your performance on the pitch ...

Maidstoned Eagle

14-09-2009, 08:41 AM

And can you get me a couple of tarts
To match the two we have playing up front?

Barbara4003

14-09-2009, 08:42 AM

Sure. But games further away I may have a problem with.

Can you get some of those bakewell slices in for me please :)

Noted and on the shopping list.

Does anyone else want to come with me in my car? I'm not very good at navigating to places.

:)

Barbara4003

14-09-2009, 08:42 AM

To match the two we have playing up front?

Excuse me! Are you calling me a tart?

:eek:

Maidstoned Eagle

14-09-2009, 08:43 AM

Noted and on the shopping list.

Does anyone else want to come with me in my car? I'm not very good at navigating to places.

:)
I could come and do an in depth piece on your pre'match preperation.

Maidstoned Eagle

14-09-2009, 08:44 AM

Excuse me! Are you calling me a tart?

:eek:
As far as i know we have stretch and Vern up front.

jazman

14-09-2009, 08:44 AM

Actually the coach company have just called to confirm that their coach has broken down so change of plan. We should meet at the pitches on Purley Way and we'll drive to Loftus Road as a convoy ...

nathe

14-09-2009, 08:46 AM

Can someone give me a lift?

Maidstoned Eagle

14-09-2009, 08:47 AM

Can someone give me a lift?
You look great, the worlds your oyster,go for it!

nathe

14-09-2009, 08:49 AM

You look great, the worlds your oyster,go for it!

:D

selhurstparkflyer

14-09-2009, 08:50 AM

I finish work at 6.30 in Dorset. Can I have a helicopter please?

Barbara4003

14-09-2009, 08:55 AM

I'll take Pete in my car. He's used to my driving and is a good navigator.

I have 3 more spaces if anyone wants a lift.

:)

jazman

14-09-2009, 08:58 AM

Can someone give me a lift?

Jump in with the boss ... I'll have three more spaces. I'll bring the kit bag, balls and cones and anything else fancy like that I can get my hands on for the pre match kick around ...

jazman

14-09-2009, 08:59 AM

I finish work at 6.30 in Dorset. Can I have a helicopter please?

Looks like I'm going to have to bench you. The club funds will be lucky enough to stretch to the post match beer let alone air travel.

jazman

14-09-2009, 11:56 AM

Update - I think I have covered all applicants so far ...

Manager; Jazman
Director of football; Stellavista
Head coach; MrGins
Coaches; Kabbott
Club secretary applicants; Art Malice/ Nelson Muntz
Finance manager; Timbo
Celebrity supporters; Jjeagle
Physio applicants; Pauldrulez/ Barbara4003
Catering contracts; The digger/Jone-zee/ Doris/ Eaglettie
Scouts; Ardeo
Club linesman; Doris
PA/BBS Virtual Town FC DJ; Maidstoned
Charity events; Little Al
Press Officer; Mal Adjusted
Club shop; Strawberry Mivi
Cheerleader coach; Paf

First Team Squad;
1. Selhurstparkflyer (Keeper)
2. Slimbloke 'H' (Defence)
3. Eddieskyclad (Defence)
4. Asagaya Eagle (Midfield)
5. Hughff (Defence)
6. Jazman (Defence)
7. Stellavista (Midfield)
8. Blazey (Utility)
9. Sw16girl (Striker)
10. Nathe (Striker)
11. Pauldrulez (Midfield)
12. The digger (Midfield)
13. Mouseboy (Keeper)
14. Jlmatthews (Defence)
15. Peagle (Midfield)
16. Calne eagles (Defence)
17. Mickssis (Waterboy)
18. Kabbott (Striker)
19. Barbara4003 (Striker)
24. Sexual Chocolate (Midfield and Captain)
27. Little Al (Defence)
28. Shipp Ahoy! (Keeper)
69. CPFC Cheerleader Observer (Midfield)

Barbara4003

14-09-2009, 12:12 PM

When is the team being announced?

:)

jazman

14-09-2009, 12:20 PM

Midday tomorrow ... so you need to impress the manager before then if you are going to :)

strawberry mivi

14-09-2009, 12:58 PM

Can I offer assistance with the catering?
Quaters of oranges at half-time, prawn sandwiches in the executive suites, chewing gum for the coaching staff...that kind of thing.

Oh, and meat pies and bovril for the fans.

strawberry mivi

14-09-2009, 12:59 PM

Ah, lots of caterers.
Therefore I'd like to run the Club Shop.
Please.
Replica kits available, due in around Xmas.
Baby grows and bobble hats on special offer this week.

paf

14-09-2009, 01:01 PM

I'll look after the cheerleaders if you want :)

jazman

14-09-2009, 01:01 PM

Can I offer assistance with the catering?
Quaters of oranges at half-time, prawn sandwiches in the executive suites, chewing gum for the coaching staff...that kind of thing.

Oh, and meat pies and bovril for the fans.

Several contracts competing in this area at the moment ...

jazman

14-09-2009, 01:02 PM

Ah, lots of caterers.
Therefore I'd like to run the Club Shop.
Please.
Replica kits available, due in around Xmas.
Baby grows and bobble hats on special offer this week.

You're in :p

Barbara4003

14-09-2009, 01:03 PM

Ah, lots of caterers.
Therefore I'd like to run the Club Shop.
Please.
Replica kits available, due in around Xmas.
Baby grows and bobble hats on special offer this week.

Can you get some of those teddy bears in? The ones with the kit on.

Thanks :p

jazman

14-09-2009, 01:03 PM

I'll look after the cheerleaders if you want :)

There are no cheerleaders yet to look after ...

paf

14-09-2009, 01:04 PM

There are no cheerleaders yet to look after ...

well you rustle some up whilst I look online for suitable outifts. Oh and no boilers.

jazman

14-09-2009, 01:06 PM

well you rustle some up whilst I look online for suitable outifts. Oh and no boilers.

The one that was suggested by Little Al was Doris but she has since chosen to be the clubs dodgy linesperson ...

Barbara4003

14-09-2009, 01:07 PM

I think it would be safer, and quite novel, to have male cheerleaders.

Dressed as firemen.

ardeo

14-09-2009, 01:07 PM

May I have your first scouting report in the morning please? Scour the BBS for talent and let me know what you find. Some of the disagreeing players may have to be cut this early on ....

I'll have a look at the current squad before tomorrow, based on their training today. Unfortunately won't have time to suss out QPR, so you'll have to pick the team without any knowledge about them.

That ok boss?

jazman

14-09-2009, 01:08 PM

I'll have a look at the current squad before tomorrow, based on their training today. Unfortunately won't have time to suss out QPR, so you'll have to pick the team without any knowledge about them.

That ok boss?

Fine by me, seeing as the head coach is totally useless ...

kitticat

14-09-2009, 01:09 PM

I think it would be safer, and quite novel, to have male cheerleaders.

Dressed as firemen.

Men in little skirts and pom poms :)

jazman

14-09-2009, 01:09 PM

I still don't have an assistant manager ...

jazman

14-09-2009, 01:09 PM

Men in little skirts and pom poms :)

I feel quite ill ...

Barbara4003

14-09-2009, 01:10 PM

Men in little skirts and pom poms :)

That's just perverse, Kitti :eek:

Firemen.

Definitely.

;)

kitticat

14-09-2009, 01:12 PM

I still don't have an assistant manager ...

I'll do it if you at a loose end.

jazman

14-09-2009, 01:13 PM

We don't have a board either ...

What's going on in this world when people would rather be the cheerleader coach and not have a place on the board? :D

paf

14-09-2009, 01:13 PM

Firemen.

Definitely.

;)

sick. I'm out.

jazman

14-09-2009, 01:13 PM

I'll do it if you at a loose end.

Credentials?

jazman

14-09-2009, 01:14 PM

sick. I'm out.

No, you have my full support not to use men.

Barbara4003

14-09-2009, 01:14 PM

We don't have a board either ...

What's going on in this world when people would rather be the cheerleader coach and not have a place on the board? :D

SW16girl said she'd be on the board.

With Maz and Richard as her co directors.

Not that Maz and Richard know anything about it, of course.

:)