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View Full Version : What can be done to install Brighton to their rightful place in the PL?


Vince Hilaire's Afro
20-06-2016, 01:09 AM
Perennial failure despite hundreds of millions of pounds of 'investment' have caused CEO OF THE YEAR Paul Barber to press the panic button as the pressure mounts on him to drag his carcass of a club into the PL.

He has drawn up a number of 'ingenious' proposals designed to benefit the third placed club in future playoff tournaments. This coincides with the latest outrageous miscarriage of justice that was Brighton's latest playoff failure, following a season in which they finished third.

My concern is that this might not be enough to counteract BHAFC's tendency towards heroic, tragic, hilarious failure. In fact, those plans could end up making them look even more like twats.

No, more robust contingencies need to be put into place. Getting Brighton into the PL has become a labour of love akin to building the Great Wall of China. I feel it will take the collective intellectual might of the BBS to devise new innovations that might finally facilitate Brighton's elevation to the elite footballing division.

To kick things off...

1) the goal at which Brighton shoot during the playoffs should be three times larger than their opponent's

2) an embargo on yellow and red cards being unfairly brandished towards innocent BHAFC players such as Stephens, and of course, Dunk.

3) a ban on singing for opposition fans. There are some supporters of other clubs for which the successful singing of songs is almost a regular occurrence. They don't even reminisce about it happening! Very disconcerting for Brighton fans and players alike

4) let Bruno score, at least once. You know, like when adults let a 5 year old kid join in. He's such a nice guy, we don't want him to start crying again

....

CPFC since 1989
20-06-2016, 03:01 AM
Send them Frazier Campbell

Ash
20-06-2016, 07:32 AM
Other championship clubs, unanimous in their support of CEO OF THE YEAR Barber's play-off proposals, will agree to play a ten men "rush goalie" formation against Brighton's eleven, should they receive the honour of facing the classy giant in the play-offs.

Heb 7:4
20-06-2016, 08:20 AM
What happens to these rules for the third place club if Brighton finish 4th-6th?

I am assuming they will once again loudly declare that the play-offs are unfair and the 3rd placed team should go up automatically, refusing to field a team against them to make their point?

Glen Eagle
20-06-2016, 09:03 AM
What happens to these rules for the third place club if Brighton finish 4th-6th?

I am assuming they will once again loudly declare that the play-offs are unfair and the 3rd placed team should go up automatically, refusing to field a team against them to make their point?

]
Another rule giving Brighton an 89 point head start on the rest ( to be invoked if they finish less than 3rd) will prevent that ever happening.

Penstone Eagle
20-06-2016, 09:15 AM
Double stadium and attendance points, clearly the initial points awarded were not enough.

CharlieCPFC
20-06-2016, 09:24 AM
They should also be given points for how green and leafy the nice parts of Sussex are in places like Moulscoombe and Whitehawk.

Vince Hilaire's Afro
20-06-2016, 09:29 AM
They should also be given points for how green and leafy the nice parts of Sussex are in places like Moulscoombe and Whitehawk.

Yes, along those lines, I believe Easy 10 is advocating some kind of bonus for the number of white, middle class families living in the area as opposed to clubs surrounded by pesky immigrants

dbutler
20-06-2016, 09:34 AM
Would a Tesco Club Card help them gain more points ?

davech
20-06-2016, 09:51 AM
Carry forward the 15 unused points from last year.

Phil's Barber
20-06-2016, 03:08 PM
From the 16/17 season. Any play off game involving BHAFC if after 90 mins Brighton have not won the game then play should continue with the opposition removing a player from the field every 5 minutes until BHAFC have won the game.

Jim Cannon
20-06-2016, 03:26 PM
Well should Barber be successful in getting his wish, firstly, I would advise all Palace fans to bet on Brighton getting another hefty points tally next season, and finishing this time in 4th place, on Goal Difference.

thereichstuff
20-06-2016, 05:02 PM
I think Steve parish , at the next meeting of premier league chairman , should propose the fast tracking of briwghton to the premier league due to the unfairness of last season .
Firstly , they recorded the highest number of points any team accumulated but failed to get promoted .
Next , they played football the " right " way and gained admirers from all over the world including Nigeria .
They were victimised by the sub standard of refereeing in many games and should , in keeping with their stature, have been allocated premier league standard referees .
The away fans were victimised by the extra miles further they had to travel from the south coast , as many grounds in the championship are in the north . The fast tracking would make away games easier to get to and the poorest away numbers to home numbers ratio in the league should be a thing of the past .
They have cushioned seats .
They have a state of the art training ground which is the envy of many premier league teams .
They have a award winning CEO , who has narrowed their losses year on year by selling their Crown Jewels . He's plr !
Their owner shows the most passion , by wearing scarfs , hats and coats to games .
They should have beat shef wed :D because they are not a big team anymore and the weeds are .
But basically it's so unfair they didn't go up when the whole football world wanted it !
How could this proposal not get passed and rubber stamped !

Jim Cannon
20-06-2016, 05:11 PM
Firstly , they recorded the highest number of points any team accumulated but failed to get promoted .


They did not, Sunderland managed 90 in 1997-98, though knowing Brighton, they probably think their 89 points are worth more than anyone else's haul

RazorsEdge
20-06-2016, 05:12 PM
Would a Tesco Club Card help them gain more points ?

Every little helps ;)

spt1978
20-06-2016, 06:12 PM
Automatic promotion for every club that stood back as their ground was turned into a toys r us.

Or maybe 1 point per million of debt.

Ninjas Headband
20-06-2016, 06:32 PM
The real issue here is Brightons inability to get promoted due to not being able to win any play off games. Instead the CEO OF THE YEAR should recommend that another type of competition be put in place such as The Great Championship Bake Off where the competing clubs battle over who has the best pies for promotion. I hear that they do a lovely Balti pie down in Falmer.

Jim Cannon
20-06-2016, 06:38 PM
Surely the abolition of the Play Offs, and Brighton just get promoted if they don't finish in the top 2?

thereichstuff
20-06-2016, 06:42 PM
They did not, Sunderland managed 90 in 1997-98, though knowing Brighton, they probably think their 89 points are worth more than anyone else's haul

Ah but Sunderland are tin pot :p

Jim Cannon
20-06-2016, 06:44 PM
Ah but Sunderland are tin pot :p

Damn, I knew that as well:D

little al
20-06-2016, 06:56 PM
They did not, Sunderland managed 90 in 1997-98, though knowing Brighton, they probably think their 89 points are worth more than anyone else's haul

Football wasn't around back then.

passion4palace
20-06-2016, 07:01 PM
End each BHAFC game in the 78th minute, thereby reducing game-time demand through the season and keeping those legs fresh for the play-offs.

Has the added bonus that none of the fans would miss any football either.

Vince Hilaire's Afro
20-06-2016, 07:41 PM
They did not, Sunderland managed 90 in 1997-98, though knowing Brighton, they probably think their 89 points are worth more than anyone else's haul

My guess is that Sunderland's plight was overlooked due to the lack of cry baby whingeing that, conversely, did not accompany that particular playoff injustice

Vince Hilaire's Afro
20-06-2016, 07:43 PM
End each BHAFC game in the 78th minute, thereby reducing game-time demand through the season and keeping those legs fresh for the play-offs.

Has the added bonus that none of the fans would miss any football either.

Well they would obviously miss the minutes between 68-78 instead.

Joe85
20-06-2016, 07:49 PM
Tell Real, Barca, Bayern and Juve to stop trying to unsettle Bruno.

He's made his choice.

Big Gav
20-06-2016, 07:55 PM
Every little helps ;)

Do Poundland have loyalty points? Would be more suited for them

KYLIE MINEAGLE
21-06-2016, 10:06 AM
Why not a referendum on Thursday. People vote as to wether they should be given a PL spot without bothering to play in the championship next season. Sure it would be a landslide.

hdeagle
21-06-2016, 10:09 AM
Originally Posted by dbutler
Would a Tesco Club Card help them gain more points ?

So that is why their NOBO shirts resembled stripey Tesco plastic bags.

Malarkey
21-06-2016, 01:21 PM
I reckon the opposition support should all have to wear Tesco bags and sing Brighton songs.

eagle mart
21-06-2016, 01:54 PM
They could break away from the championship/ PL if they are not automatically promoted to the Premier League due to their massive overnight popularity increase in Uganda. The TV rights from that 500 (in a pub, in Uganda, on a Monday night, no witnesses) is worth BILLIONS. And the Premier League wouldn’t want to lose that treasure trove.

Imagine Scudamore’s face when they hold a ‘Ugandan day’ in their honour when he realised what he’s missed out on.