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Payney
08-08-2017, 04:32 PM
A little bit of fun for all fans for the coming season. :)

Predictions of the fortunes of Lewis Dunk. The main man in the Brighton defence, The guy they trust with lining up the walls at free kicks (and staring at it all night m'lord). The Kop keepy uppy champion 2012, The Bwighton wock.

1. Number of yellow cards 2
2. Number of red cards
3. Own goals - 1
4. Injures an opponent resulting in them leaving the field of play
5. Goals conceded by BHAFC - 11
6. Penalties conceded by the south coast Beckenbauer
7. Special random selection of your choice

My predictions-

1. 15
2. 4
3. 2
4. 6
5. 78
6. 5
7. Arrested for dunk and disorderly after the club Christmas(relegation) party.

EDIT - running totals added

smileysmith
08-08-2017, 04:53 PM
:)

Shall have to give this one some thought.Save

CharlieCPFC
08-08-2017, 05:09 PM
1. 13
2. 3
3. 2 (in one game)
4. 4
5. 68
6. 3
7. Times beaten one on one by Wilf - you'll lose count

Spindle
08-08-2017, 07:21 PM
Great thread. Is there a prize?

jjeagle
08-08-2017, 07:22 PM
Great thread. Is there a prize?
Deep joy!

grand aigle
08-08-2017, 07:55 PM
yellows.....12
reds ....3
ogs.......3
injures opponents 9
goals against...71 (includes 6 on saturday)
pens conceded....5
random choice.....england call ups ....0

Moose
09-08-2017, 08:25 AM
Yellows: 12
Reds: 2
OGs: 3
Opponent injuries: 3
Goals against: 81
Pens conceded: 4
Random choice: breaks down in tears on pitch as relegation confirmed: 1

Big Gav
09-08-2017, 08:45 AM
Great thread. Is there a prize?

A hotel break with Dunk for the winner as long as he can have the bed by the wall and a pawade to be arranged for second place.

SEEPEEEFFSEE
09-08-2017, 08:59 AM
Superb thread!

1 = 12
2 = 2
3 = 3
4 = 2
5= 85
6 = 9
7 = Seaweed to be relegated with the record lowest points tally in a PL season and possibly highest number of goals conceded as well.

Richard Russell
09-08-2017, 09:28 AM
1. Number of yellow cards 10
2. Number of red cards 1
3. Own goals 1
4. Injures an opponent resulting in them leaving the field of play 3
5. Goals conceded by BHAFC 62
6. Penalties conceded by the south coast Beckenbauer 2
7. Special random selection of your choice We'll stay up in 16th position

Vince Hilaire's Afro
09-08-2017, 09:32 AM
It's an amusing thread, but for me at least, one tinged with sadness.

Before he became this shattered mess of a player, surely destined for such humiliation this season that he will have to mentally accept his level, I think it's true to say he did once have potential.

But one can trace the precise point when it all went wrong. It was a tragic day, and one I'm always loathe to bring up. I refer to Brighton's season opener against Doncaster - a game in which Dunk should have been sent off for an horrific challenge on Billy Sharp.

Doncaster lost their best player, and lost the game from a winning position. As Brighton's fans either ignored or excused the heinous challenge, and their manager refused to condemn it (odd considering his crusade against rough, unpunished treatment of his own 'flair' players). The message to a young, impressionable Dunky was this: 'if the team is losing and not good enough to win legitimately, maiming them will give us the edge'.

And here we are.

Popester
09-08-2017, 09:38 AM
1. Number of yellow cards - 10
2. Number of red cards - 3
3. Own goals - 4
4. Injures an opponent resulting in them leaving the field of play - 6
5. Goals conceded by BHAFC - 75
6. Penalties conceded by the south coast Beckenbauer - 5
7. Special random selection of your choice - Breaks his own ankles on April 14 after Wilf skins him for the 12th time that match.

Vince Hilaire's Afro
09-08-2017, 09:43 AM
Special random selection of your choice - Dunky adopts the unusual tactic of staring down the defenders trying to defend free kicks in dangerous positions - known henceforth as 'Facing the wall'

davech
09-08-2017, 10:12 AM
Special random selection of your choice - Dunky adopts the unusual tactic of staring down the defenders trying to defend free kicks in dangerous positions - known henceforth as 'Facing the wall'

So, not much use in a backs-to-the-wall scenario then?

Spindle
09-08-2017, 10:29 AM
1. Number of yellow cards - 11
2. Number of red cards - 2 (both straight red last ditch blatant hacks resulting in 3 match bans)
3. Own goals - 1
4. Injures an opponent resulting in them leaving the field of play - 4
5. Goals conceded by BHAFC - comfortably over 70.
6. Penalties conceded by the south coast Beckenbauer - 2
7. Special random selection of your choice - Palace to confirm Brighton's relegation with a 4 nil victory at Selhurst Park in April.

bloodfart
09-08-2017, 11:11 AM
Any excuse to post this :)

pRSJPTKw-i8

Phil's Barber
09-08-2017, 11:52 AM
1. Number of yellow cards 12
2. Number of red cards 3
3. Own goals 3
4. Injures an opponent resulting in them leaving the field of play 5
5. Goals conceded by BHAFC 71
6. Penalties conceded by the south coast Beckenbauer 5
7. Special random selection of your choice. Investigated for match fixing. The accusation will be withdrawn, when the investigation discovers no wrong doing and that it is just because Dunk is really shit at football.

Payney
09-08-2017, 11:54 AM
You missed off the yellow cards PB. ;)

Phil's Barber
09-08-2017, 11:58 AM
fixed :p

HurstpierPalace
09-08-2017, 01:11 PM
It's an amusing thread, but for me at least, one tinged with sadness.

Before he became this shattered mess of a player, surely destined for such humiliation this season that he will have to mentally accept his level, I think it's true to say he did once have potential.

But one can trace the precise point when it all went wrong. It was a tragic day, and one I'm always loathe to bring up. I refer to Brighton's season opener against Doncaster - a game in which Dunk should have been sent off for an horrific challenge on Billy Sharp.

Doncaster lost their best player, and lost the game from a winning position. As Brighton's fans either ignored or excused the heinous challenge, and their manager refused to condemn it (odd considering his crusade against rough, unpunished treatment of his own 'flair' players). The message to a young, impressionable Dunky was this: 'if the team is losing and not good enough to win legitimately, maiming them will give us the edge'.

And here we are.

Must spread rep etc:D

HurstpierPalace
09-08-2017, 01:23 PM
1. Number of yellow cards 13
2. Number of red cards 2
3. Own goals 2
4. Injures an opponent resulting in them leaving the field of play 7
5. Goals conceded by BHAFC 69
6. Penalties conceded by the south coast Beckenbauer 3
7. Random choice: Dunk finds himself back in the dock after being caught trying to solicit sex with a scantily clad 'woman' in St James' street at the celebratory first three points in the Premier League pawade.

Eagleinsussex
09-08-2017, 06:55 PM
Any excuse to post this :)

pRSJPTKw-i8

Just beautiful, dirty Dunky at his best lol

SwoopingGull
10-08-2017, 09:12 AM
It's an amusing thread, but for me at least, one tinged with sadness.

Before he became this shattered mess of a player, surely destined for such humiliation this season that he will have to mentally accept his level, I think it's true to say he did once have potential.

But one can trace the precise point when it all went wrong. It was a tragic day, and one I'm always loathe to bring up. I refer to Brighton's season opener against Doncaster - a game in which Dunk should have been sent off for an horrific challenge on Billy Sharp.

Doncaster lost their best player, and lost the game from a winning position. As Brighton's fans either ignored or excused the heinous challenge, and their manager refused to condemn it (odd considering his crusade against rough, unpunished treatment of his own 'flair' players). The message to a young, impressionable Dunky was this: 'if the team is losing and not good enough to win legitimately, maiming them will give us the edge'.

And here we are.

Funny you were sniffing around him last year. You do spout the most crap on this site.

Payney
10-08-2017, 09:59 AM
Funny you were sniffing around him last year. You do spout the most crap on this site.

Predictions please

1. Number of yellow cards
2. Number of red cards
3. Own goals
4. Injures an opponent resulting in them leaving the field of play
5. Goals conceded by BHAFC
6. Penalties conceded by the south coast Beckenbauer
7. Special random selection of your choice

SEEPEEEFFSEE
10-08-2017, 10:58 AM
Funny you were sniffing around him last year. You do spout the most crap on this site.

Yeah sniffing around with him a view to make him head of the Janitorial department at Selhurst Park. Even the club were taking the piss out of him!

Dike Mean
10-08-2017, 12:41 PM
1. Number of yellow cards -13
2. Number of red cards - 3
3. Own goals - 2
4. Injures an opponent resulting in them leaving the field of play - 17
5. Goals conceded by BHAFC - 69
6. Penalties conceded by the south coast Beckenbauer - 5
7. Special random selection of your choice - Number of season ticket holders outted as having a 'first club' that they like more than "The Albion" - 15,742

Popester
10-08-2017, 01:17 PM
1. Number of yellow cards - 10
2. Number of red cards - 3
3. Own goals - 4
4. Injures an opponent resulting in them leaving the field of play - 6
5. Goals conceded by BHAFC - 75
6. Penalties conceded by the south coast Beckenbauer - 5
7. Special random selection of your choice - Breaks his own ankles on April 14 after Wilf skins him for the 12th time that match.

I've changed my mind on #7.

Dunky will score a consolation goal in a 1-8 drubbing by Everton and, to the delight of the 10,000 Brighton fans left in the stadium, will take off his BHA shirt to reveal a Liverpool shirt with "Gerrard" on the back.

PalaceForever
10-08-2017, 01:22 PM
Any excuse to post this :)

pRSJPTKw-i8

One of the best own goals, ever. Seeing it always cheers me up.

CharlieCPFC
10-08-2017, 02:34 PM
Funny you were sniffing around him last year. You do spout the most crap on this site.

And look who was in charge.

Says it all. If he was as good as you rate him he'd at the very least had approaches made to the club for him.

Coastal Palace
10-08-2017, 02:41 PM
1. Wanker
2. Wanker
3. Wanker
4. Wanker
5. Wanker
6. Wanker
7. Wanker.

Payney
11-08-2017, 09:25 AM
1. Wanker
2. Wanker
3. Wanker
4. Wanker
5. Wanker
6. Wanker
7. Wanker.

:D

11 people entered so far. Will be keeping score on the OP.

Vince Hilaire's Afro
11-08-2017, 09:56 AM
Funny you were sniffing around him last year. You do spout the most crap on this site.

I most certainly wasn't. There were unconfirmed rumours that the defensive genius that is Alan Pardew may have been considering adding him to the lower echelons of our squad, and from what I can recall, the response from most Palace fans was....unenthusiastic.

Perhaps you should try again. So far, very disappointing.

Vince Hilaire's Afro
11-08-2017, 10:06 AM
Exhibit A - swooping gulls' damning evidence how much we really rate Dunk

http://www.cpfc.org/forums/showthread.php?t=263514&highlight=Dunk

Popester
11-08-2017, 10:20 AM
There is an interview with "local boy" (and Arsenal fan) Solomon March in the Times this morning in which he claims that Donkey Dunk could play in midfield. One assumes this is intended to reduce the prospect of own goals and penalties...

Sharkba1t
12-08-2017, 06:23 AM
I most certainly wasn't. There were unconfirmed rumours that the defensive genius that is Alan Pardew may have been considering adding him to the lower echelons of our squad, and from what I can recall, the response from most Palace fans was....unenthusiastic.

Perhaps you should try again. So far, very disappointing.

If I recall correctly most Palace fans who expressed an interest in signing him did so only because it would annoy the weed. And that his main duties would be cleaning the boots of senior players, before being sent out on loan.

spt1978
12-08-2017, 06:04 PM
Debut goal!!!!

CharlieCPFC
12-08-2017, 06:05 PM
Brighton's first goal scored by one of their own.

Good on the boy

SJ'sLoveMonkey
12-08-2017, 06:06 PM
Hahahaha here he goes

Dorking .Eagle
12-08-2017, 06:07 PM
Cheered me up considerably!

SJ'sLoveMonkey
12-08-2017, 06:07 PM
Lewis Dunk ladies and gents

PalaceForever
12-08-2017, 06:08 PM
Thanks Lewis - it has been a shit day, but that cheered me up a bit.

HurstpierPalace
12-08-2017, 06:08 PM
Score one for Spunky

HurstpierPalace
12-08-2017, 06:10 PM
In all seriousness good. Licentious, big nosed ****.

little al
12-08-2017, 06:13 PM
Haha Dunk loves an own goal :)

dannyb1
12-08-2017, 06:14 PM
Well that's cheered me up a bit after todays crap.

Crofty
12-08-2017, 06:19 PM
Welcome to The Prem Dunky....

Crofty
12-08-2017, 06:20 PM
88 mins

Brighton's Pascal Gross' cross from the left goes straight out of play. Some Albion fans are leaving early (well a few at least). First top-flight game in 34 years, you'd think you might see it through until the end.

little al
12-08-2017, 06:22 PM
'They have got a long way to go'
Brighton 0-2 Man City

Fred Eyre
Former Man City player on BBC Radio Manchester
After the second goal, you could visibly see the Brighton players' heads drop and their shoulders shrink. They have put in a good evening's work but they have got a long way to go. They will be happy to stay in the league.

Jim Cannon
12-08-2017, 06:23 PM
Debut goal!!!!

At least he brings some cheer after our own shocking day

Good lad

Spindle
12-08-2017, 06:24 PM
Payney I hope you are going to keep track!

little al
12-08-2017, 06:27 PM
'The scoreline flatters Brighton'
Brighton 0-2 Man City

Fred Eyre
Former Man City player on BBC Radio Manchester
Posted at
19:25
As the game wore on, it was just a matter of when the Brighton defence would crack. Aguero was inevitably the man who opened the scoring and opened the floodgates.

The second goals was an unfortunate own goal for Lewis Dunk because he held the back four together with his mate Shane Duffy.

I think the scoreline does actually flatter Brighton, and it could have been a lot more.

Joe85
12-08-2017, 06:31 PM
Lol. Faired better than us though, which sours the mood further.

Popester
12-08-2017, 07:21 PM
Gareth Southgate must be desperate to call him up...

SEEPEEEFFSEE
12-08-2017, 09:10 PM
The only real positive from today was Brighton cracking after holding city for 70 mins and Donky Dunk doing what he does best, being shit

alf
12-08-2017, 10:56 PM
Just watching Dunk's own goal cheered me up a little bit.

Not sure if Brighton will lose 3-0 at home to Huddersfield though :(

Pidster
13-08-2017, 12:42 PM
Just watching Dunk's own goal cheered me up a little bit.

Not sure if Brighton will lose 3-0 at home to Huddersfield though :(


Some Huddersfield player (1), Dunk (2).

SwoopingGull
14-08-2017, 10:11 AM
Jesus, things must be bad when Dunk scores and own goal and it cheers you up after getting your arse handed to you by Huddersfield. :love:

Payney
14-08-2017, 01:07 PM
Jesus, things must be bad when Dunk scores and own goal and it cheers you up after getting your arse handed to you by Huddersfield. :love:

Either post up some predictions or just keep the **** off this thread. Thanks.

SwoopingGull
14-08-2017, 02:12 PM
Either post up some predictions or just keep the **** off this thread. Thanks.

Who are you the Away fans police. :jerkit:

Eagleinsussex
14-08-2017, 04:29 PM
Who are you the Away fans police. :jerkit:

Look out boys the internet hardman is about....

Eagleinsussex
14-08-2017, 07:00 PM
Just seen the own goal, cracking header, well played Dunky

Hitler
15-08-2017, 12:56 PM
The experience and tactical nouse showed, as although we stumped them for the first hour, they were patient - then more composed in exercising their forward's passing game after that.
The Albion only looked confident in possession for 5 minutes after halftime.
Personally, it went as I'd expected. That's not hard to predict though, I would have thought anyone could have foreseen it.

CP Satellite
15-08-2017, 01:15 PM
The experience and tactical nouse showed, as although we stumped them for the first hour, they were patient - then more composed in exercising their forward's passing game after that.
The Albion only looked confident in possession for 5 minutes after halftime.
Personally, it went as I'd expected. That's not hard to predict though, I would have thought anyone could have foreseen it.

Wot, Dunk making a complete tit of himself?

eagle mart
15-08-2017, 01:21 PM
then more composed in exercising their forward's passing game after that.
.

I just put this in google translate and it came out with.

'Author has no idea what he is talking about'

Latvian
16-08-2017, 11:12 AM
Bit late but hope that I can still join.

1. Number of yellow cards - 2
2. Number of red cards - 1 (second yellow)
3. Own goals - 2 - Loaned to Lincoln City before the end of this window.
4. Injures an opponent resulting in them leaving the field of play - He can't injure their shadows at this level - trick question.
5. Goals conceded by BHAFC - 49
6. Penalties conceded by the south coast Beckenbauer - 0
7. Special random selection of your choice - Dunk to get a tad rapey during a celebration with the lads once he realises that he won't have to face Wilf for yet another season, or the rest of his career.

Payney
16-08-2017, 01:37 PM
Bit late but hope that I can still join.

1. Number of yellow cards - 2
2. Number of red cards - 1 (second yellow)


This is for the whole season, Not just next weekend. :)

Latvian
16-08-2017, 02:58 PM
This is for the whole season, Not just next weekend. :)

Only Prem ones though, or are we counting his inevitable loan spell to the lower leagues?

Payney
21-08-2017, 10:37 AM
Still no cards for the South coast Bobby Moore, Can't be far away...

andy1980
28-08-2017, 06:40 PM
Have you guys given up on this thread? No bookings and is seen as someone who doesn't look out of place in the premier league. Played his part in our first clean sheet.

Joe85
28-08-2017, 06:47 PM
Have you guys given up on this thread? No bookings and is seen as someone who doesn't look out of place in the premier league. Played his part in our first clean sheet.Scored a cracking goal. Fair play to him. He's like the Antisergio Ramos.

old git
28-08-2017, 06:47 PM
Have you guys given up on this thread? No bookings and is seen as someone who doesn't look out of place in the premier league. Played his part in our first clean sheet.

Stop calling us guys . We are gender neutral on here.

andy1980
28-08-2017, 06:57 PM
Stop calling us guys . We are gender neutral on here.
:embarass:

Eagleinsussex
28-08-2017, 10:04 PM
Have you guys given up on this thread? No bookings and is seen as someone who doesn't look out of place in the premier league. Played his part in our first clean sheet.

Dirty donkey Dunky won't let us down....

EagleEater
29-08-2017, 12:28 AM
Stop calling us guys . We are gender neutral on here.

You certainly comes across as having dabbled in the "Gender fluid" circles, OG. You strike me as the kind of bloke who puts on his wife's knickers and prances around the mirror as soon as the Mrs steps out the front door down to LIDL ;) (In your Chelsea shirt) - A poor mans David Mellor :D

SwoopingGull
29-08-2017, 09:30 AM
I think Dunk is exactly the type of player you lot are crying out for. Name me a better centre back in your squad right now?

SJ'sLoveMonkey
29-08-2017, 09:31 AM
I think Dunk is exactly the type of player you lot are crying out for. Name me a better centre back in your squad right now?

Sakho on Thursday ;)

Pidster
29-08-2017, 09:37 AM
I think Dunk is exactly the type of player you lot are crying out for. Name me a better centre back in your squad right now?

Scott Dann.

Selhurst Celtic
29-08-2017, 09:40 AM
Played his part in our first clean sheet.

Let the record state that he was asleep and facing the wall at the time of the incidents.

SwoopingGull
29-08-2017, 09:47 AM
Sakho on Thursday ;)

That's more hope than anything, must be bad times when you pinning survival on 1 bloke lol...

Payney
29-08-2017, 09:56 AM
Have you guys given up on this thread? No bookings and is seen as someone who doesn't look out of place in the premier league. Played his part in our first clean sheet.

Nothing to update this week, Unless he crocked someone, please confirm?

SwoopingGull
29-08-2017, 10:07 AM
Nothing to update this week, Unless he crocked someone, please confirm?

Nah no one was crocked, You should check out out his diagonal balls he plays tho and how calm and confident he is on the ball.

Big Gav
29-08-2017, 10:19 AM
Nah no one was crocked, You should check out out his diagonal balls he plays tho and how calm and confident he is on the ball.

Is this a snippet from the hotel room trial?

Selhurst Celtic
29-08-2017, 10:45 AM
must be bad times when you pinning survival on 1 bloke lol...

Are you referring to Tony Bwoom here?

SwoopingGull
29-08-2017, 01:15 PM
Is this a snippet from the hotel room trial?

What the one that has been and gone and he was cleared off. If your gonna give it please come at me with something more worthy :jerkit:

SwoopingGull
29-08-2017, 01:16 PM
Are you referring to Tony Bwoom here?

Nah, one player (sakho) to save your season, Parish wont be saving it will he, he is too busy on his knees trying to suck off BFS so he will come back. Pathetic

Eagleinsussex
29-08-2017, 01:27 PM
Nah, one player (sakho) to save your season, Parish wont be saving it will he, he is too busy on his knees trying to suck off BFS so he will come back. Pathetic

And you know all about sucking off ;)

SwoopingGull
29-08-2017, 02:08 PM
And you know all about sucking off ;)

So because i'm a Brighton fan i must be gay? :frown: God the BBC was right.

Eagleinsussex
29-08-2017, 02:26 PM
So because i'm a Brighton fan i must be gay? :frown: God the BBC was right.

You started the sucking off thread Lol

old git
29-08-2017, 02:32 PM
You started the sucking off thread Lol

He usually finishes it as well to be fair.

Big Gav
29-08-2017, 03:30 PM
What the one that has been and gone and he was cleared off. If your gonna give it please come at me with something more worthy :jerkit:

Ooh keyboard warrior with a :jerkit: sign just like the other twat Matbha. Just like the rest of you tarquins like to give it from behind a keyboard don't you. Sad little ****s. He was cleared yes but as said before so was OJ Simpson, means **** all :jerkit:

Big Gav
29-08-2017, 03:33 PM
So because i'm a Brighton fan i must be gay? :frown: God the BBC was right.

Wether you are gay or not is irrelevant but what we all do know is you are a gutless, worthless piece of shit :D :jerkit:

matbha
29-08-2017, 06:25 PM
Ooh keyboard warrior with a :jerkit: sign just like the other twat Matbha. Just like the rest of you tarquins like to give it from behind a keyboard don't you. Sad little ****s. He was cleared yes but as said before so was OJ Simpson, means **** all :jerkit:

Im not a twat ,and I bet your not big :clown:

thereichstuff
29-08-2017, 06:29 PM
:jerkit:

SJ'sLoveMonkey
29-08-2017, 06:31 PM
Im not a twat ,and I bet your not big :clown:

It's like a baby's arm holding a Jaffa Orange allegedly so you're wrong! :p

matbha
29-08-2017, 06:31 PM
:jerkit:

That's you :supergrin:

matbha
29-08-2017, 06:46 PM
It's like a baby's arm holding a Jaffa Orange allegedly so you're wrong! :p

Ok he is big lol:)

SwoopingGull
30-08-2017, 08:51 AM
Wether you are gay or not is irrelevant but what we all do know is you are a gutless, worthless piece of shit :D :jerkit:

Yea OK Big Gav you :jerkit:.

Guttless? Worthless? Piece of shit?

Please stop i cant handle all your insults lol...

Big Gav, Big fat girl more like :jerkit: