View Full Version : Worst Song of All Time - TOTP2 Tomorrow (Wednesday)
Dai the Swansea Eagle
06-05-2003, 09:18 PM
According to Steve Wright, on tomorrows TOTP2 is the worst song of all time. Any thoughts on what it can be? Ignoring all the novelty crap that has been churned out over the years I would plump for JJ Barrie's "No Charge". A number one in 1976, it really is sickly.
Your thoughts?
gjtango
06-05-2003, 09:20 PM
Trevor Francis's Red Blue Army, perhaps? ;)
Gosling
06-05-2003, 09:21 PM
Ohhhh, so many candidates! I'm gonna have to make sure I get home from work in time for this!
For me, Joe Dolce's "Wassa Madda, You?" narrowly beats everything by Black Lace.
julian
06-05-2003, 09:30 PM
i went through a stage of thinking i liked obscure early eighties japanese pop (yellow magic orchestra inspired me). and i know the worst song of all time. it's the the last song on side two of an album i own by a band called ippu-du. far worse then anything even steve wright can muster up. this said ippu-du track has an awful reggae-style verse (sang in japanese) followed by a swift transition into a heavy metal chorous (sang in english!) truly awful. can't remember the name of the track as it's on vinyl and i can't get to it at present!
Sussex Eagle
06-05-2003, 09:31 PM
I didn't think TOTP 2 normally played the current charts...
mikebow
06-05-2003, 09:34 PM
eagles eat seagulls?
absoulutly terrifing
Skin Up
06-05-2003, 09:35 PM
It's a tough one, I'd go for something by Simply Red as I considered all of their songs to be sickly rubbish.
However the Ginger Manc lives in a very big house which would indicate there's a couple of million people that disagree.
Oz_da_Eagle
06-05-2003, 09:43 PM
Any noise from Sealion Dion
Supa Ol
06-05-2003, 10:32 PM
Could it possibly be 'I'm Alright' by Steve Wright and the Afternoon Boys? For some reason I own a copy of this monstrosity on 7" vinyl. Pull!
Nelson Muntz
06-05-2003, 10:33 PM
We don't talk anymore - Cliff Richard.
Gosling
06-05-2003, 10:35 PM
Originally posted by julian
i went through a stage of thinking i liked obscure early eighties japanese pop (yellow magic orchestra inspired me). and i know the worst song of all time. it's the the last song on side two of an album i own by a band called ippu-du. far worse then anything even steve wright can muster up. this said ippu-du track has an awful reggae-style verse (sang in japanese) followed by a swift transition into a heavy metal chorous (sang in english!) truly awful. can't remember the name of the track as it's on vinyl and i can't get to it at present!
This frightens me. You are a scary man, julian.
julian
06-05-2003, 10:42 PM
sorry to frighten you gosling. but you have to know the truth! i can't take on the burden of this song alone!
stevejfh
06-05-2003, 10:49 PM
Shaggy - It wasn't me.
And it got to number f***in' 1!! :bash:
A Wooden Fish On Wheels
06-05-2003, 10:50 PM
Originally posted by Dai the Swansea Eagle
...Ignoring all the novelty crap that has been churned out over the years I would plump for JJ Barrie's "No Charge". A number one in 1976, it really is sickly... I was only 9 then but I remember being quite opinionated about MY charts in those days and thinking, 'well why didn't she say all that stuff BEFORE he did all those jobs' hehe. It was all part of my road to damascus route to socialism :p
Dallas Eagles
06-05-2003, 11:23 PM
Steve Wright is still doing TOTP? - jez - aint watch that show for years and thought wrighty had gone off the air waves.
Paul
A Wooden Fish On Wheels
06-05-2003, 11:39 PM
Originally posted by Dallas Eagles
Paul
Skid Row
07-05-2003, 12:15 AM
Originally posted by Gosling
For me, Joe Dolce's "Wassa Madda, You?"
I'm pretty sure that is the biggest selling single out here. If that isnt right then it was the biggest something out here. However, I think it was called "Shuddupa Your Face".
There you go
'Shaddap You Face' in its twenty-third year as the most successful song in Australian music history, breaks the twenty-two year record set by Slim Dusty and 'The Pub With No Beer', which was released in 1957, and held the record until 1979, when it was overtaken by Mike Brady and The Two Man Band, with 'Up There Cazaly'.
philaire
07-05-2003, 01:06 AM
"Shaddup you face" has attracted a bit of press here in the last week after it received a nomination somehwere for worlds worst song or similar.
A couple of interesting facts I know you're hanging out for on this song. Firstly I heard Joe Dolce play it in a Melbourne restaurant circa 1981 before he recorded it. Secondly, I work with someone who was an extra in the film clip. There. Now you can proceed having had your life enriched by this additional info.
1f6f
The Doctor.
07-05-2003, 01:07 AM
Originally posted by Skin Up
It's a tough one, I'd go for something by Simply Red as I considered all of their songs to be sickly rubbish.
However the Ginger Manc lives in a very big house which would indicate there's a couple of million people that disagree.
Sir, I salute you.
Mind you, it's to his credit that Charlie Drake managed to reinvent himself as a pop star.
mosschops
07-05-2003, 01:42 AM
TOTP2 is an awful program. When you condsider all the great bands/musicians you could have on there, it always annoys me that that •••• Steve Wright picks the worst crap imaginable. Happened to be channel hopping today and there was Wet Wet Wet on the show murdering "With a Little Help From My Friends". What a ••••.
mosschops
07-05-2003, 01:44 AM
I didn't no I wasn't allowed to say •••• or ••••.
Whats wrong with •••• anyway. He was a 9th century Viking king of England.
Ruskin Old Boy
07-05-2003, 04:45 AM
Grandad - Clive Dunn
Gooders
07-05-2003, 06:35 AM
Anything by Bananarama.
Gooders
07-05-2003, 06:37 AM
Or, The Night Chicago Died
Na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na
Na, na naaaa, na, na...
PENGE P
07-05-2003, 06:52 AM
My candidates are
Seven Tears - Gombay Dance Band
Shuddup your face - Joe Dolcie
Agadoo - Black Lace
Safety Dance - Men Without Hats
Grandma - St Winnies Winnies
Smurph
07-05-2003, 06:59 AM
Originally posted by PENGE P
Safety Dance - Men Without Hats
I quite liked that - and the video.
I would nominate The Power of Love by Jennifer Rush and Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You. Someone should have shot her.
Ruskin Old Boy
07-05-2003, 07:32 AM
Originally posted by PENGE P
Grandma - St Winnies Winnies
And that one - couple it with Grandad - which would be the A side? :eek:
Judge 400 Years
07-05-2003, 07:32 AM
Heart - All I wanna do is make Love to you
They (the band) think its a great song they sing it with passion - BUT its complete bollox
Elephant with mouse gyp
07-05-2003, 08:11 AM
Bohemian Rhapsody is way out on its own.
ElwissAtMemphis
07-05-2003, 08:27 AM
Don't get me started on Queen; Radio Ga Ga is probably even worse.
Levski
07-05-2003, 08:34 AM
Can't remember who it was by, but I saw truly the most bizarrely awful song on TOTP2 a few years back. It was this early seventies thing with some woman in a big flowing dress standing in the middle of a stage with this weird noise in the background going: 'le le le le le le le' all the way through, while she says, (says, not sings) 'Oh Superman. Oh Mum and Dad' for three minutes.
Surely a candidate?
Smurph
07-05-2003, 08:38 AM
Lori Anderson - Oh Superman
Simultaneoulsy annoying and compelling, but is it art?
Sunny Fan
07-05-2003, 09:03 AM
Way back when (79/80?) Kenny Everett cobbled together (from votes to his show on capital?) and released an album of the worst ever songs; I bought it (it's since disappeared) but can now only remember one track off it, Wunderbar. Can anyone help with the others? The vinyl was coloured green just to complete the look.
Twyford Bee
07-05-2003, 09:21 AM
The worst song I can remember getting to number 1 was basically a dance record, but the words were just an exercise video. Don't know who it was by, though I think it came out in 1999. A pretty awful year for music, I think!
Lords Eagle
07-05-2003, 09:36 AM
Congratulations - Cliff Richard
Puppet on a string - Sandie Shaw
Boom bang a bang - Lulu
Common theme here, eurovision song contest entries.
I remember you - frank Ifield. I was at the after match drinks following a crickey match my dad was in, and they had a record player and only one record, and this was it and it was played continually all night. AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Smurph
07-05-2003, 09:43 AM
Originally posted by Sunny Fan
Way back when (79/80?) Kenny Everett cobbled together (from votes to his show on capital?) and released an album of the worst ever songs; I bought it (it's since disappeared) but can now only remember one track off it, Wunderbar. Can anyone help with the others? The vinyl was coloured green just to complete the look.
Didn't Jess Conrad have the most tracks on that record. The thing about Kenny Everett's World's Worst Record Show is that many of them were so bad they were good.
Can't remember the artists but I do remember some of the lyrics:
"Your red scarf matches your eyes,
You close your cover before striking
Your Father has the shipfitter's(?) blues
Loving you has made me bananas."
and, my own favourite,
"I'm looking over my dead dog rover
That I hit with the power mower..."
It then goes on to describe what has happened to each if the unfortunate animals limbs ("No use explaining that the one leg remaining...") before concluding
"I'm looking over my dead dog Rover that I overlooked before."
Sunny Fan
07-05-2003, 09:50 AM
I'm looking over my dead dog rover
That I hit with the power mower...
Class. Cheers Smurphum. Anyone else remember these tracks? Wonder if I can find it on Amazon...
2063
PENGE P
07-05-2003, 09:56 AM
I remember you - frank Ifield. I was at the after match drinks following a crickey match my dad was in, and they had a record player and only one record, and this was it and it was played continually all night. AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! [/B][/QUOTE]
Sid Vicious did a version of this called - I remember you, you C""t
Sunny Fan
07-05-2003, 09:58 AM
One Google later, we have the Kenny Everett World's Worst Record track listing:
I Want My Baby Back - Jimmy Cross
Wunderbar - Zarah Leander
Paralysed - The Legendary Stardust Cowboy
The Deal - Pat Campbell
Transfusion - Nervous Norvus
This Pullover - Jess Conrad
Spinning Wheel - Mel & Dave
Laurie - Dickie Lee
A Lovers Concerto - Mrs Miller
The Drunken Driver - Ferlin Husky
Why Am I Living ? - Jess Conrad
Surfin' Bird - The Trashmen
I'm Going To Spain - Steve Bent
The Big Architect - Duncan Johnson
Cherry Pie - Jess Conrad
The Shifting Whispering Sands - Eamonn Andrews
Kick Out The Jams - Tub Thumper
My Feet Start Tapping - Adolph Babel
The Greatest Star Of All - Skip Jackson
Going Out Of My Head - Raphael
Elephant with mouse gyp
07-05-2003, 10:04 AM
Originally posted by Levski
Can't remember who it was by, but I saw truly the most bizarrely awful song on TOTP2 a few years back. It was this early seventies thing with some woman in a big flowing dress standing in the middle of a stage with this weird noise in the background going: 'le le le le le le le' all the way through, while she says, (says, not sings) 'Oh Superman. Oh Mum and Dad' for three minutes.
Surely a candidate?
That's one of my all time favourites, pal. I find it very moving. She does do a bit a of talk-singing, then kind of lets her beautiful and whispery voice break free at certain points, as in 'so hold me mom in your strong arms.'
I Don't Like Mondays is well up on my list.
El Aguila
07-05-2003, 10:07 AM
Originally posted by Smurph
Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You. Someone should have shot her.
Agreed except..... the thread title is, "Worst Song of all time", and that song in its original version is quite beautiful.
Chumbawamba have several candidates for the title - as have the Clash - I'll get back to you on this one.
Eagle Kneevil
07-05-2003, 10:08 AM
I can think of 3 1/2 shockers:
I Need Love - LL Cool J
Clouds Across the Moon - The Rah Band
Keep On Truckin' (part 1) - Eddie Kendricks
D.I.S.C.O. - (don't know who sang it)
El Aguila
07-05-2003, 10:09 AM
Originally posted by Lords Eagle
Puppet on a string - Sandie Shaw
Steady on!
SKATE
07-05-2003, 10:09 AM
Originally posted by Sunny Fan
One Google later, we have the Kenny Everett World's Worst Record track listing:
I Want My Baby Back - Jimmy Cross
This is the one I always remember.... an absolute classic
I want my baby back
Gotta have my baby back
I miss her oh so much
Can’t live without her touch
[Spoken]
I don’t hardly know where to begin. I remember we were cruising home from the Beatles concert. I’d had such a wonderful evening, sitting there watching my baby screaming, and tearing her hair out, and carrying on. She was so full of life. Then, well, we were about three miles from home when all of a sudden it started to rain. And I do mean rain. I couldn’t hardly see nothing. Well, we kept driving for about another mile when all of a sudden I see this stalled car right smack in front of me. Well, I wasn’t about to slam on the brakes ‘cause I didn’t have none to start with. So I swerved to the left. And what do I see—some mushhead on a motorcycle headin’ right at us. And I knew at last me and my baby were about to meet the leader of the…
[Crash sounds]
…pack
Well, when I come to, I looked around
And there was the leader
And there was the pack
And over there was my baby
And over there was my baby
And way over there was my baby
I want my baby back
Gotta have my baby back
I miss her oh so much
Can’t live without her touch
[Spoken]
It’s been many months now since that fateful night. And you know something, I’ve tried. Believe me, I have tried. But I just can’t make without my baby. So I’ve decided I’m going to have her back one way or another. Oh, baby, I dig you so much. Hot dang, pay dirt.
[Digging and creaking]
I’ve got my baby back
Now, I’ve got my baby back
I love her oh so much
Can’t live without her touch
I’ve got my baby back
Elephant with mouse gyp
07-05-2003, 10:10 AM
Leave Whitney alone. Her version is fine.
Just to pip El A to the post, I would say Guns of Brixton is pretty naff.
El Aguila
07-05-2003, 10:11 AM
Originally posted by Sunny Fan
Surfin' Bird - The Trashmen
I'm Going To Spain - Steve Bent
LOVE both these songs, Christ Kenny Everett was a winker.
El Aguila
07-05-2003, 10:14 AM
Originally posted by Elephant with mouse gyp
Leave Whitney alone. Her version is fine.
It's not, though. It really turned me off her, and I used to like her a lot. You think that is good and "Bohemian Rhapsody", isn't? Really, honestly?
Gooders
07-05-2003, 10:16 AM
Easy Lover - Phil Collins and that other no mark who "sang" it with him.
Sunny Fan
07-05-2003, 10:19 AM
Skate, that was fantastic, thank you so much
Eagle Kneevil
07-05-2003, 10:19 AM
Four more that have wormed themselves unnecessarily back into my consciousness:
Don't It Make You Feel Good? - Stefan Dennis
Here Comes The Hammer - MC Hammer
Life is Life - Opus
.....and I apologise to anyone who knows this:
Ba-ba-bank robbery - Erste Allgemeine Verunsicherung
1f91
Eagle Kneevil
07-05-2003, 10:21 AM
And how could I forget "Hey Matthew" by Karel Fialka.
"...The A-team, the A-team. I see the A-team....."
".....I want to be the captain of a boat. Big boat."
Elephant with mouse gyp
07-05-2003, 10:22 AM
Originally posted by El Aguila
It's not, though. It really turned me off her, and I used to like her a lot. You think that is good and "Bohemian Rhapsody", isn't? Really, honestly?
Not sure of the connection there but yes, Whitney's I Will Always love You is a good listen in certain settings. I never used to like warbly voices before hearing it, so she's opened up a whole new section of the musical/stage world to me. Bohemian Rhapsody is everything I hate in music and life.
Chocky
07-05-2003, 10:22 AM
Originally posted by Smurph
I quite liked that - and the video.
I would nominate The Power of Love by Jennifer Rush and Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You. Someone should have shot her.
Absolutely spot on!
Someone should ship that wailing BITCH off to the middle east, stick her on top of a mosque where she'd be better appreciated.
And send Celine Dion with her.
Female modern day pub singers.
Monkey Magic
07-05-2003, 10:26 AM
So much UB40 to choose from but it has to be "Red Red Wine".
The scary thing is the amount of people who buy records like that.
Or almost anything by Celine Dion - that one from Titanic was particularly painful.
Eagle Kneevil
07-05-2003, 10:26 AM
Originally posted by Elephant with mouse gyp
Whitney's I Will Always love You is a good listen in certain settings.
And I can confirm Chinese karaoke bars are not good settings.
Smurph
07-05-2003, 10:28 AM
Originally posted by Eagle Kneevil
D.I.S.C.O. - (don't know who sang it)
Ottawan :)
Ebony and Ivory has got to be the worst record EVER...Oh God! where's the sick bucket...ruuuuuuuuuuuthhhhhhhh...
Levski
07-05-2003, 10:35 AM
Originally posted by Smurph
Lori Anderson - Oh Superman
Simultaneoulsy annoying and compelling, but is it art?
Nice one!
Sorry elephant with mouse for slagging it off! Maybe it needs a second viewing?
That dance track set to a gym was, I think, Stardust with 'Gym Tonic'.
It samples Jane Fonda.
Came out during a time of a glut of tunes that copied each other, a lot of it from France. Was it Stardust, or something else - it all blurs into one. like 'music sounds better with you'. - Can't remember any of the people directly involved, Bob Sinclair maybe.
hilairehair
07-05-2003, 10:59 AM
We Built this City by Starship
and the cover of Panic by Carter USM
A Wooden Fish On Wheels
07-05-2003, 11:02 AM
Originally posted by Sunny Fan
This Pullover - Jess Conrad Ah that was my fave... it went something like...
This pullover that you gave to me
I am wearing and wear it constantly
Soft and warming just like your love for me
This pullover that you gave to me
When I touch it, I can feel you near me
When I hold it, I know I love you dearly (?)
blah blah
and I know I'm holding you so tight, so tight...
Men At Work
07-05-2003, 11:02 AM
Going back a bit but does anyone remember the cringingly awful "Tell Laura I Love Her" by Ray Peterson? However, even that can come nowhere near the barf-fest that is Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey"
One day while I was not at home while she was there and all alone
The angels came
Now all I have is memories of Honey and I wake up nights and call her name
Now my life's an empty stage where Honey lived and Honey played
And love grew up
And a small cloud passes overhead and cries down on the flower bed
That Honey loved
A Wooden Fish On Wheels
07-05-2003, 11:10 AM
Originally posted by Sunny Fan
Transfusion - Nervous Norvus I just remembered this one it went something like...
Transfusion, transfusion, my red corpuscles are in confusion I ain't never never never gonna speed again...
(and then)
Put the juice in me bruce
(or)
Slip the fluid in me louis
(or)
pump the blood in me bud
etc.
Lords Eagle
07-05-2003, 11:17 AM
Originally posted by Gooders
Easy Lover - Phil Collins and that other no mark who "sang" it with him.
The other 'no mark' was Phil Bailey member of the legendary earth wind and fire (the drummer I think)
Lords Eagle
07-05-2003, 11:20 AM
Originally posted by El Aguila
Steady on!
Sorry, I find it irritating beyond belief! Quite liekd some of her other songs, but that one!
Other songs, anything by Bill Hailey and i'm afraid anything by Elvis.
El Aguila
07-05-2003, 11:36 AM
I could make a superb compilation with some of the records you lot hate. That Bobby Goldsboro one is a minor classic of the mid 70s death / suicide genre (Seasons in the Sun, Emma) even if a bit div. II.
I won't start on "anything by Elvis"!
Gooders
07-05-2003, 11:45 AM
I like the Goldsboro one. Reminds me of being 6 or 7.
You can never find it on a retro compilation though, have you noticed?
They always have "Summer, the first time" which wasn't as good (despite it having the same tune).
Sunny Fan
07-05-2003, 11:54 AM
Originally posted by Lords Eagle
anything by Elvis. My flabber's been gasted.
207f
El Aguila
07-05-2003, 12:00 PM
Originally posted by Gooders
I like the Goldsboro one. Reminds me of being 6 or 7.
You can never find it on a retro compilation though, have you noticed?
Yeah.
I guess the problem is that you are associating it with when you were 6 or seven, and looking for it on retro compilations with "Telstar" and Pat Boone.
Lords Eagle
07-05-2003, 12:02 PM
Originally posted by Sunny Fan
My flabber's been gasted.
Sorry about gasting your flabber, but I can't stand that horrible drawly voice. The only thing that I find worse than the man himself are all the impersonators, horrible!
Gooders
07-05-2003, 12:04 PM
Telstar - definitely!
Who's Pat Boone?
Gooders
07-05-2003, 12:05 PM
Originally posted by Lords Eagle
Sorry about gasting your flabber, but I can't stand that horrible drawly voice.
A-ha-huh
Sunny Fan
07-05-2003, 01:58 PM
Have had partial success in downloading some of these fine tunes and I can confirm:
Paralysed by The Legendary Stardust Cowboy is truly, truly unlistenable
Transfusion by Nervous Norvus is actually not that bad in a kooky way
Wunderbar is so tragic that I've already wiped it from my hard drive
I Want my Baby Back has been going round my mind so much that I've convinced myself it's actually a classic of the highest order. Frustratingly I can't seem to find an mp3 of it anywhere.
A Wooden Fish On Wheels
07-05-2003, 02:02 PM
Originally posted by Gooders
Telstar - definitely! Ah I have Joe Meek's original rough demo of Telstar on the album 'Songs in the Key of Z' - here's how the sleeve describes it... British Rock producer Joe Meek (1927-1967) was a cross between Thomas Edison (self-taught inventor and intuitive engineer), Phil Spector (influential recording studio maverick producing radio-friendly pre-Beatles chart-climbers), and film outsider Ed Wood, Jr. (dogged by failure and prone to aberrant behaviour). Joe wrote and produced one of the '60s great instrumentals, the 5-million-selling "Telstar", recorded by the Tornadoes based on this tone-deaf demo. Meek built a recording studio in his dumpy North London flat, from which he launched over 50 hits showcasing his trash-compactor lo-fi crunch. But he was a dyslexic, violence-prone country bumpkin who waged exhaustive and futile war against the music industry. On Feb. 3, 1967, Joe conceded ultimate defeat by blowing his face skyward with a shotgun.
El Aguila
07-05-2003, 02:04 PM
Fascinating guy, Joe Meek, I think we're going to put out a compilation in the next month or so.
A Wooden Fish On Wheels
07-05-2003, 02:10 PM
Yeah there's a load of web sites about him, I remember seeing part of a documentary about him where they visited his old flat in North London. He was very, erm... eccentric I gather.
britabroad
07-05-2003, 02:16 PM
Originally posted by julian
i went through a stage of thinking i liked obscure early eighties japanese pop (yellow magic orchestra inspired me). and i know the worst song of all time. it's the the last song on side two of an album i own by a band called ippu-du. far worse then anything even steve wright can muster up. this said ippu-du track has an awful reggae-style verse (sang in japanese) followed by a swift transition into a heavy metal chorous (sang in english!) truly awful. can't remember the name of the track as it's on vinyl and i can't get to it at present!
ahhh the days of Sakamoto and Takahashi!!!!
Tim of the 80's
07-05-2003, 05:20 PM
I don't generally get too upset about novelty records, most of them have some sort of kitsch value. The following however have no redeeming features:
Anything by Dean Friedman - Lucky Star, Rocking Chair and Arielle (which I had forgotten about until I heard it many times on Riviera Radio)
Big haired early-mid 80's AOR - Foreigner, Toto, Jefferson Starship, Heart
I Just Called to Say I Love You (How could you Stevie!?)
Special loathing is reserved for Diana Ross's Chain Reaction which is always seems to be played at any function for people of a certain age...
Gooders
07-05-2003, 05:30 PM
Indeed.
It really should be...
"We're in the middle of a mid-life crisis"
or
"We're in the middle of the menopause"
Gooders
07-05-2003, 05:32 PM
Oh and whilst we're at it - I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor (or anyone else for that matter)
Ruskin Old Boy
07-05-2003, 05:33 PM
OK, is it the Bucket song :eek: or Jimmy Nail?
Gerry from Sussex
07-05-2003, 05:35 PM
Agadoo always really irritates me.
Mind you, I have an original demo copy of Telstar downstairs so that means I have absolutely no taste at all!!
Ruskin Old Boy
07-05-2003, 05:41 PM
No charge - JJ Barrie - pass the sick bag
wighteagle
07-05-2003, 05:46 PM
Sylvia's Mother by Dr Hook has the same effect on me as fingernails being scraped down a blackboard. Yeee-uck!!!
baughurst eagle
07-05-2003, 05:53 PM
I will always love you by whitney "screacher" housten
has got to be the worst record of all time it makes me feel ill when I hear it and want to cover my ears and leave the room but when your mates at work know this and the crap comes on the radio they turn it up to annoy me :afro:
Hedgehog
07-05-2003, 11:43 PM
Originally posted by Dai the Swansea Eagle
According to Steve Wright, on tomorrows TOTP2 is the worst song of all time. Any thoughts on what it can be? Ignoring all the novelty crap that has been churned out over the years I would plump for JJ Barrie's "No Charge". A number one in 1976, it really is sickly.
OK, so what was it?
346d
LLCOOLSTEVE
07-05-2003, 11:51 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/totp2/lineup/show2artist1.shtml
Well that was the line up for this evenings show.........
Men At Work
08-05-2003, 12:28 AM
I assume it was this one :
Canadian country crooner JJ Barrie struck chart gold in April 1976 with this cringe-making paean to family values which might just have you reaching for a sick bucket, depending on your constitution.
Following Tammy Wynette's 1975 hits 'Stand By Your Man' and 'D.I.V.O.R.C.E.', Barrie figured that a remake of another Wynette country hit might chart in Britain. So he recorded his husky-voiced version of 'No Charge', a saga of a parent-child chat containing more sugar than a meltdown at an Easter Egg factory.
Barrie was a smart cookie, though, as this track spent 11 weeks in the charts and made it all the way to No.1. Don't say we didn't warn you!
Gooders
08-05-2003, 06:57 AM
Originally posted by wighteagle
Sylvia's Mother by Dr Hook has the same effect on me as fingernails being scraped down a blackboard. Yeee-uck!!!
Another one that I like because it makes me feel young - one of the first singles I ever bought, in the days when we used to buy that rather basic magazine that contained lyrics - can't remember what it was called, but it was cheaper than calling dial-a-disc!
El Aguila
08-05-2003, 07:19 AM
I think the worst song ever recorded, for the sentiment, the timing, the unnecessariness, the ubiquity, the ruining of a fairly good song ness of it, may well have been Elton's re-recording of "Candle in the Wind" where he changed the lyrics, after Princess Diana died. I realise she was a friend of his, but, really, Elton, did you have to?
Originally posted by Gooders
Another one that I like because it makes me feel young - one of the first singles I ever bought, in the days when we used to buy that rather basic magazine that contained lyrics - can't remember what it was called, but it was cheaper than calling dial-a-disc! [/B]
Disco 45?
sunshine lucas
08-05-2003, 07:32 AM
Anything by 'The Smurphs'
Any 'Stars on 45' or Jivebunny
'The Exploited' on TOTP.... :eek:
Tight Fit - The Lion Sleeps tonight'
The Snowman by dear old Aled J
Mistletoe and Wine by Cliff.
Gooders
08-05-2003, 07:40 AM
Originally posted by DAS
Disco 45?
That was it. Thanks!
Oh and EA - fully agree - cringe-makingly embarrassing, even by Mr Dwights standards.
Elephant with mouse gyp
08-05-2003, 08:27 AM
Sylvia's Mother is great. It's in my head now, but what was the mother's surname? 'Avis'? It's my advice always to have a Dr Hook Greatest Hits in the car for top singalong/stuck on a motorway times.
Tim of the 80's
08-05-2003, 08:44 AM
Originally posted by Elephant with mouse gyp
Sylvia's Mother is great. It's in my head now, but what was the mother's surname? 'Avis'? It's my advice always to have a Dr Hook Greatest Hits in the car for top singalong/stuck on a motorway times.
"please Mrs Avery I just gotta talk to her - I'll only keep her a while"
Gooders
08-05-2003, 08:50 AM
That was it Tim - Mrs Avery. :p
Please, Mrs Avery, I've just got to tell her goodbye...
Men At Work
08-05-2003, 08:57 AM
That's sparked off a memory of another one although this one involved an answering machine rather than a phone. "Hello this is Joni" went the chorus and I vaguely recall being about some bloke's girlfiend dying (why am I remembering all the death ones :eek: ) so he keeps ringing up her answerphone. Any clues on this?
El Aguila
08-05-2003, 09:14 AM
Yes, MaW - very nearly mentioned this yesterday when we were talking about the death songs that were around in the mid 70s, you know when Gooders was six. It was also possibly the first answering machine song, by Paul Evans. Don't know what it's doing on this thread, though.
El Aguila
08-05-2003, 09:15 AM
Originally posted by El Aguila
Yes, MaW - very nearly mentioned this yesterday when we were talking about the death songs that were around in the mid 70s, you know when Gooders was six (though this was a late example of the genre - 1979). It was also possibly the first answering machine song, by Paul Evans. Don't know what it's doing on this thread, though.
El Aguila
08-05-2003, 09:19 AM
Oops. Anyway, here's the story behind that hit:
"In 1979, a surprise hit in the English charts for Paul Evans came about when he released "Hello this is Joannie (telephone answering machine)". He already had a hit back in 1961 with " Seven little girls sitting in the back seat" and had written for numerous artists since then. At the time in England, everyone had heard of a telephone answering machine but no one possessed one…
Since his hit in 1961 in England, Paul had written and recorded many other songs back in his homeland, USA, but none had made any impact on the English charts. Though as a writer for Bobby Vinton's "Roses are red" and "When" which was re-recorded by Showaddywaddy, and many other hits he had been working behind the scenes, but always looking to get another hit record.
In 1976 he had released in America for its Bicentennial birthday "Happy Birthday America" on the Big tree label, but with Big Tree pushing a bigger artist at the time of "England Dan & John Ford Coley", Paul's song got lost in the shuffle. Even when he tried to buy it back from Big Tree to sell to another record company, Big Tree wouldn't let him.
In the following years, Paul had still been writing songs and making demos and felt that was something about this song he had just written. Paul had written the tune but had no lyrics although he had tried. He passed it on to songwriting partner Fred Tobias, who he had worked with in the past. Fred wrote the lyrics for the song, which meant Paul had to change some of the arrangements to fit the song. The song "Hello this is Joannie" (Telephone Answering Machine) was about a couple having an argument and never having chance to apologize and the female dying in a car crash. The only memory he has or memento is the recording on her telephone answering machine hence the title. In case any of you wondering if the story is true, there was no car crash and no Joannie!! Also for the record, the female vocalist singing the part of "Joannie" on the recording machine was Lea Jane Berinati who runs her own recording studio in Nashville to this day.
Paul had sent it to Chet Atkins at RCA who was interested. Sadly though his position was taken over by Gerry Bradley who turned it down.
Still believing in his product, Paul and long time producer friend Jim Wisner, left New York and flew to Nashville to record the song. With the finished song in hand, the first few record companies had turned it down but Spring records showed interest. They were most notable for their R&B artists, had no real experience in Country as that was what the songs had flavors of in it.
Never knowing what song is going to be a hit, after hearing call in requests on radio stations, Paul saw the song jump on the country billboard charts, where it took off on the country radio stations.
Even stranger still was the success the song had in England, climbing to the No.6 position in the UK. The promotion agent for Polygram had admired Paul's work and made a sterling effort which paid off. This was quite a feat considering Disco was waning and punk and the New Romantic movement was becoming the rage. Other cross over country artists like Crystal Gayle and Olivia Newton-John had been successful years earlier but now with a different music style this was totally different.
With "Joannie" now on the charts in the USA, Paul was excited to go promote but even more excited with a call from England to go and be on "Top of the Pops". After flying over there, TOTP realized there figures were miscalculated and only an American artist in the Top ten and rising could appear on the show. Sadly as Blondie's record company had kept the figures shielded for "Heart of Glass" this pushed Paul out of the Top Ten. Remember at the time, "Top of the Pops" was a huge force in pushing a song over, MTV hadn't been invented and this was the UK's biggest music promotion vehicle. Although TOTP did offer to show a video clip of Paul from his "American Bandstand" appearance but there wasn't time to get it sent over.
In fact the hit was so quick in England, Paul had no time to go and book live dates to promote it.
To go along with the single, Spring released the album " Hello this is Paul Evans", to try to capitalize on the hit. The album had been started on before the record deal began with Spring, and had been finished off when Spring gave an advance to Paul to complete the album. The album consisted of songs in the same country acoustic vein that Paul had with the hit "Joannie".
After returning from England, the next single to be released was "What's a nice guy like me doing in a place like this" which was only released in England. Although it had airplay it never made the charts, due to lack of publicity. This came about when after "Joannie" became a hit, Spring informed Paul they wanted to make him into a dance artist. Of course Paul not being in this field of music couldn't see any sense behind it( who could?), and at that point he parted from the label much to his chagrin.
Although Spring and Paul had parted company, Spring released one more single to try to cash in, which was called "Disneyland Daddy". This song was way ahead of its time dealing with a divorced father and having to spend limited time with his children. This though was in fact a true story to some extent, as Paul had just gone through a divorce and this had prompted him to write the song with Paul Parnes.
After parting Company with Spring, Paul had hoped he could get another hit on his own record label with popularity from the song "Joannie", rather than go door to door at the record companies. He released a few singles on his own Cinnamon label, but sadly due to high costs in promoting and distribution, it didn't fare too well.
Since that time Paul has lived in New York, doing writing for other artists or radio jingles, movies, soundtracks, and has not really been in the same market. Although he recently completed a CD with a mixture of different sounds, some in the country vein he is known for. In fact, he re-recorded "Disneyland Daddy " and changed the title to "Weekend Daddy". He is now looking to get out on the live circuit again to see what interest there is, although he has played dates in the USA, nothing has been forthcoming from England yet.
Looking back on that hit from 1979, Paul stands by the saying " Second time around is better" and what a thrill it was to be back on the charts years later. He now aims for third time around… Good luck, Paul!"
Was that more than you need to know?
1f61
Gooders
08-05-2003, 09:30 AM
Originally posted by El Aguila
Yes, MaW - very nearly mentioned this yesterday when we were talking about the death songs that were around in the mid 70s, you know when Gooders was six.
Oi! Don't take the piss!
Sylvias Mother was 1972, if memory serves, and I was 12.
Men At Work
08-05-2003, 09:41 AM
Cheers, El A :p Yet another example of Oisin's Law that the BBS can provide the answer to any question.
El Aguila
08-05-2003, 09:42 AM
Just pulling your leg old man.
"I like the Goldsboro one. Reminds me of being 6 or 7."
I am no spring chicken myself.
DennisUphill
08-05-2003, 10:24 AM
I bleedin' hate "Glad all over" by the Dave Clark Five. Forget the connection it really is a poxy song, be honest.
Elephant with mouse gyp
08-05-2003, 10:28 AM
Yeah, I'm with you on that Mr Uphill. There are a few more of us but we have to meet up on or own secret BBS where we don't get flamed. Send me your credit card details and I'll let you in.
Gooders
08-05-2003, 10:37 AM
Originally posted by El Aguila
Just pulling your leg old man.
"I like the Goldsboro one. Reminds me of being 6 or 7."
I am no spring chicken myself.
;)
Well, you will correct me when I'm wrong but I believe that Honey was originally released in the 60's and then re-released with more success in the 70's.
Could an anorak please oblige?
I feel certain I was well under 10 years old when I sat at the top of the stairs at home singing it. :eek:
PENGE P
08-05-2003, 10:47 AM
I used to really hate the Stars acroos the Moon or somthing about some •••• ringing his old girl from space and the moon gets in the way or something bloody garbage
El Aguila
08-05-2003, 10:49 AM
Gooders - I bow - believe it or not he has his own web page:
http://www.bobbygoldsboro.com/about.html
Gooders
08-05-2003, 11:25 AM
:)
1968 then - I was 8 going on 9 (young enough not to be embarrassed about singing Honey I miss you anyway).
Phew.
Tim of the 80's
08-05-2003, 12:18 PM
Originally posted by Gooders
Originally posted by El Aguila
;)
Well, you will correct me when I'm wrong but I believe that Honey was originally released in the 60's and then re-released with more success in the 70's.
Could an anorak please oblige?
I feel certain I was well under 10 years old when I sat at the top of the stairs at home singing it. :eek:
Pretty sure it was re-released, after Summer The First Time was a hit. Loads of stuff was re-released in the early 70's - Everything from soul, through rock and roll (I distinctly remember Nutrocker being a hit in about 72), Neil Sedaka type pop through to Glenn Miller. Now we just have old songs sung by Atomic Kitten and gormless boy bands.
kettle
08-05-2003, 12:42 PM
just for being a crap song, even though it isnt that old, it has to be the anfield rap -even when it came out it was dated!
Archiebald Leitch
08-05-2003, 02:05 PM
Originally posted by Gooders
I like the Goldsboro one. Reminds me of being 6 or 7.
You can never find it on a retro compilation though, have you noticed?
They always have "Summer, the first time" which wasn't as good (despite it having the same tune).
Honey is on Hits of the Sixties....nice green 4 cd collection set.
It was just a twig.........poor darn dawg....
Gooders
08-05-2003, 02:09 PM
If you like it Leitch, I've just gone off it.
Originally posted by Elephant with mouse gyp
Yeah, I'm with you on that Mr Uphill. There are a few more of us but we have to meet up on or own secret BBS where we don't get flamed. Send me your credit card details and I'll let you in.
Can I join? Poxy tune, poxy lyrics and poxy group imho.
(Why, if they were a football team they'd probably be languishing in the middle of Div One...)
El Aguila
08-05-2003, 02:25 PM
Do you know that song, "Archibald, Certainly Not", Mr. Leitch?
Archiebald Leitch
08-05-2003, 02:48 PM
No 5 squadron stand by your guns George Robey
El Aguila
08-05-2003, 03:01 PM
Originally posted by Archiebald Leitch
No 5 squadron stand by your guns George Robey
... The Prime Minister of Mirth.
The Omen
08-05-2003, 03:03 PM
Surely the 'Grandma' song should be up there with the worst?
Gooders
08-05-2003, 03:14 PM
EA, do you realise how much your remaining street cred is suffering by talking music with Leitchy?
He numbers "Goodness Gracious Me" and "I Puts the Lighty On" amongst his collection, and his favourite artist is Cliff.
ammiller
08-05-2003, 05:00 PM
Whilst Cliff is the Peter Pan of Pop, Leitchy is the Peter Pan of Poncing around in an offside position....
ammiller
08-05-2003, 05:00 PM
Originally posted by ammiller
Whilst Cliff is the Peter Pan of Pop Leitchy is the Peter Pan of Poncing around in an offside position....
1f53
Sunny Fan
08-05-2003, 05:04 PM
Can I quote you on that?
Archiebald Leitch
08-05-2003, 08:32 PM
Whilst I'll admit that I have some of Sir Cliffs numbers in my collection, he is not 'my favourite', nor have I ever ponced about in an offside position as you know full well miller!
mikebow
08-05-2003, 08:57 PM
Did Oasis make the grade, i shure hope not, there the best. But they have struggled into the new millenium so thats what brought up my concerns....
Gooders
08-05-2003, 09:24 PM
Originally posted by Archiebald Leitch
Whilst I'll admit that I have some of Sir Cliffs numbers in my collection, he is not 'my favourite', nor have I ever ponced about in an offside position as you know full well miller!
You have, however, missed an open goal from one yard by putting the ball over the bar.
Archiebald Leitch
09-05-2003, 07:44 AM
Originally posted by Gooders
Originally posted by Archiebald Leitch
You have, however, missed an open goal from one yard by putting the ball over the bar.
It was 1967 and the ball was made of real leather with a lace!
Gooders
09-05-2003, 08:12 AM
Originally posted by Archiebald Leitch
It was 1967 and the ball was made of real leather with a lace!
Yes, but it was size 3. :rolleyes:
And it was 1969 - we didn't play for Winterbourne when we were 8 for gawds sake!
El Aguila
09-05-2003, 08:24 AM
That's the great thing about sticking with your childhood friends. They never let you move on!
Archiebald Leitch
09-05-2003, 08:46 AM
Right.....back to subject. I Pretend by Des O'Connor.
A Wooden Fish On Wheels
09-05-2003, 09:35 AM
Originally posted by Tim of the 80's
...The following however have no redeeming features:
Anything by Dean Friedman - Lucky Star, Rocking Chair and Arielle (which I had forgotten about until I heard it many times on Riviera Radio)
... Wash your mouth out - they are timeless classics! Riviera Radio Monaco? My mate Rob works for them, perhaps it was down to him :)
Psychokiller
09-05-2003, 09:44 AM
McDonalds Girl? ;)
A Wooden Fish On Wheels
09-05-2003, 09:44 AM
Originally posted by PENGE P
I used to really hate the Stars acroos the Moon or somthing about some •••• ringing his old girl from space and the moon gets in the way or something bloody garbage The Rah Band - Clouds Across The Moon, what a bloody brilliant song :) "I'm sorry, we have to interrupt this valuable deep space communication with Mars-247..", "I'll try again next year... next year..."
A Wooden Fish On Wheels
09-05-2003, 09:51 AM
Originally posted by Psychokiller
McDonalds Girl? ;) Who else could write, "I am in love with a McDonalds girl, she is an angel in a polyester uniform... I'd like an order of fries, a quarter-pounder with cheese, I love the light in your eyes, will you go out with me please?"
Psychokiller
09-05-2003, 09:52 AM
ROFL! The amount of times I've been subjected to Dean Friedmanism by this man!
Tim of the 80's
09-05-2003, 09:59 AM
Originally posted by A Wooden Fish On Wheels
Wash your mouth out - they are timeless classics! Riviera Radio Monaco? My mate Rob works for them, perhaps it was down to him :)
Surely not the morning DJ bloke - Harris or Harrison is it?
A Wooden Fish On Wheels
09-05-2003, 10:22 AM
Yeah that's him... top bloke for a Chelsea fan.
julian
10-05-2003, 10:11 AM
Originally posted by Smurph
Lori Anderson - Oh Superman
Simultaneoulsy annoying and compelling, but is it art?
"laurie" anderson to you. and along with much of lauries' stuff, innovative and quite beautiful.
"......they're american planes...... made in america"
way ahead.
julian
10-05-2003, 10:16 AM
Originally posted by Levski
Can't remember who it was by, but I saw truly the most bizarrely awful song on TOTP2 a few years back. It was this early seventies thing with some woman in a big flowing dress standing in the middle of a stage with this weird noise in the background going: 'le le le le le le le' all the way through, while she says, (says, not sings) 'Oh Superman. Oh Mum and Dad' for three minutes.
Surely a candidate?
what? she don't even "sing"? how scandalous! when she sings, she can(if she needs to). her spoken voice is more beautiful than most singing.
julian
10-05-2003, 10:20 AM
Originally posted by Elephant with mouse gyp
That's one of my all time favourites, pal. I find it very moving. She does do a bit a of talk-singing, then kind of lets her beautiful and whispery voice break free at certain points, as in 'so hold me mom in your strong arms.'
I Don't Like Mondays is well up on my list.
well said that elephant with mouse gyp!
julian
10-05-2003, 10:27 AM
Originally posted by britabroad
ahhh the days of Sakamoto and Takahashi!!!!
yes, those heady days! but neither sakamoto and takahashi can't be blamed for ippu-du. that was masami tsuchiyas' vehicle (who played guitar on japans live "oil on canvas" record.) amazing guitarist but seems that he can't write a song.
julian
10-05-2003, 10:39 AM
806
Originally posted by julian
yes, those heady days! but neither sakamoto and takahashi can't be blamed for ippu-du. that was masami tsuchiyas' vehicle (who played guitar on japans live "oil on canvas" record.) amazing guitarist but seems that he can't write a song.
apologies for hogging this for a short while. i'm even having to correct mysel here. that should have read:
"neither sakamoto or takahashi can be blamed for ippu-du." > to any obsessives lurking out there.
now i'm outta here.........
Men At Work
10-05-2003, 10:40 AM
How could we forget the genius of Billy Ray Cyrus with "Achy Breaky Heart"?
Sunny Fan
13-05-2003, 05:12 PM
Have finally managed to download Jimmy Cross singing "I want my baby back"
and it's a classic
El Aguila
13-05-2003, 05:20 PM
Christopher's brother, I believe.
Nelson Muntz
24-09-2010, 09:36 AM
I've just heard what must be up there with the worst songs ever.
Don't drive my car - Status Quo
Bad song, terrible lyric. Awful.
elwood
26-09-2010, 09:24 PM
cherpy cherpy cheap cheap - middle of the road.
truly stomach churning.
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