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  #1  
Old 06-09-2016, 02:54 PM
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Crunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
Millwall and Brighton Joke

A Millwall fan, a Brighton fan and a Crystal Palace fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most. The Millwall fan insists that he is the most loyal and he yells, "this is for Millwall !", and jumps off the mountain.
Not to be out done, the Crystal Palace fan next professes his love for his team. He screams, "this is for the Palace " and pushes the Brighton fan off the mountain...
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Old 06-09-2016, 07:03 PM
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little al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is here
Was telling that joke 40 years ago using Hitler and Jews
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Old 06-09-2016, 07:35 PM
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SJ'sLoveMonkey Sam the man is hereSJ'sLoveMonkey Sam the man is hereSJ'sLoveMonkey Sam the man is hereSJ'sLoveMonkey Sam the man is hereSJ'sLoveMonkey Sam the man is hereSJ'sLoveMonkey Sam the man is hereSJ'sLoveMonkey Sam the man is hereSJ'sLoveMonkey Sam the man is hereSJ'sLoveMonkey Sam the man is hereSJ'sLoveMonkey Sam the man is hereSJ'sLoveMonkey Sam the man is here
Christmas Crackers aren't what they used to be
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Footie? Stick to 'badders' you braying Tarquin div

I like this young man, because, when he came out
He came out wit the phrase, he went from ashy to classy
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Old 06-09-2016, 08:54 PM
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Big Gav came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietBig Gav came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietBig Gav came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietBig Gav came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietBig Gav came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietBig Gav came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietBig Gav came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietBig Gav came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietBig Gav came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietBig Gav came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietBig Gav came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
Here is a good joke......


Brighton are premier league ready
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More wise words from the football guru Londoner
"CMS is far better striker than Murray will ever be as his goal record shows. But it's not all about scoring.CMS work ethic and all round game is better.
I don't reckon Murray will cut it at this level and you will soon see how slow he really is. This is a to bigger step up for him i reckon"
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Old 07-09-2016, 10:24 AM
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YASSA the PALACETINIAN : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineYASSA the PALACETINIAN : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineYASSA the PALACETINIAN : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineYASSA the PALACETINIAN : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineYASSA the PALACETINIAN : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineYASSA the PALACETINIAN : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineYASSA the PALACETINIAN : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineYASSA the PALACETINIAN : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineYASSA the PALACETINIAN : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineYASSA the PALACETINIAN : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineYASSA the PALACETINIAN : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mine
Quote:
Originally Posted by little al View Post
Was telling that joke 40 years ago using Hitler and Jews
Really?..........do tell.
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Old 07-09-2016, 07:59 PM
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little al little al is offline
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little al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is herelittle al Sam the man is here
Quote:
Originally Posted by YASSA the PALACETINIAN View Post
Really?..........do tell.
You really want me to? Remember it was a different age back then.
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Old 07-09-2016, 08:15 PM
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A Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is here
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Old 07-09-2016, 08:15 PM
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A Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is hereA Wooden Fish On Wheels Sam the man is here
That the one I heard 30 years ago.
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Old 07-09-2016, 08:25 PM
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Similar, mine was an Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman a German and a Jew. Plane going down, one parachute. In order, Queen, Paddy, Jimmy would have done it and jumped without said parachute, German says Hitler would have done it and pushed the Jew.

Was funny back in the day.
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Old 08-09-2016, 08:29 AM
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I thought the thread title was a statement of fact
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Footie? Stick to 'badders' you braying Tarquin div

I like this young man, because, when he came out
He came out wit the phrase, he went from ashy to classy
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Old 08-09-2016, 12:57 PM
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Crunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCrunchie came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
.

Last edited by Crunchie; 08-09-2016 at 01:37 PM.
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Old 15-06-2017, 08:25 PM
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BigR is dancing like John the Baptist, telling me you're gonna take me to the Promised LandBigR is dancing like John the Baptist, telling me you're gonna take me to the Promised LandBigR is dancing like John the Baptist, telling me you're gonna take me to the Promised LandBigR is dancing like John the Baptist, telling me you're gonna take me to the Promised LandBigR is dancing like John the Baptist, telling me you're gonna take me to the Promised LandBigR is dancing like John the Baptist, telling me you're gonna take me to the Promised LandBigR is dancing like John the Baptist, telling me you're gonna take me to the Promised LandBigR is dancing like John the Baptist, telling me you're gonna take me to the Promised LandBigR is dancing like John the Baptist, telling me you're gonna take me to the Promised LandBigR is dancing like John the Baptist, telling me you're gonna take me to the Promised LandBigR is dancing like John the Baptist, telling me you're gonna take me to the Promised Land
I've met a fair few Millwall fans over the years, and have a game I like to play now.....close your eyes before you meet 'em and when they speak you have to guess if they're male or female....hours of hilarity!
I swear - all Millwall fans have the same voice.
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Old 15-06-2017, 08:32 PM
SeanPalace84 SeanPalace84 is offline
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Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman are all working on a construction site, building a new skyscraper in London. It's lunchtime and they're all sat atop the building. Englishman opens up his lunchbox to see what his wife has packed him.

"Ugh... Ham and cheese sandwich... again. Im ******* sick of ham and cheese sandwiches, it's the same every bloody day. If I get another ham and cheese sandwich in my lunch box tomorrow I'm jumping off the top of this building."

Next, the Scotsman opens up his lunch box.

"Aackk, jam sandwich... again. I cannee go on like this eating jam sandwiches every day of me life! If I get the same again tomorrow I'm jumping as well."

Next it's the Irishman's turn.

"Ohh for fecks sake! Not another egg and cress sandwich! That's the fourth one in a row this week! I'm with you boys, one more egg and cress sandwich and I'm jumping!"

So next day they sit at the top of the building to have lunch. One by one they open up their lunch boxes... Englishman finds another ham and cheese sandwich, so off he jumps, and splats into the ground below. Scotsman finds another jam sandwich... Off he goes...Splat. Irishman, egg and cress sandwich... Splat.

A week or so later later the three widows are talking at the memorial service. English widow says, through tears, "I still can't believe it, had no idea George hated ham and cheese so much, if only i'd known..."

Scottish widow says "Duncan did say he was getting a bit bored of Jam, but I didn't realise he hated it that much, I just wish he'd have let me know how he really felt."

Irish widow says "I... I just don't understand... Paddy made his own Sandwiches"

Best joke ever when told right! Poor old Irish fella....

Last edited by SeanPalace84; 15-06-2017 at 08:35 PM.
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Old 15-06-2017, 08:36 PM
SeanPalace84 SeanPalace84 is offline
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**** know what's that has to do with Brighton..

Or football....
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Old 15-06-2017, 08:38 PM
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Coastal Palace came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCoastal Palace came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCoastal Palace came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCoastal Palace came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCoastal Palace came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCoastal Palace came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCoastal Palace came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCoastal Palace came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCoastal Palace came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCoastal Palace came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCoastal Palace came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
What's the difference between a Brighton fan and a bucket of shit?

The bucket.


And they say the old 'uns are the best.
I'd disagree with that.
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Old 16-06-2017, 02:18 AM
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ONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mine
Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippy?

He was too far out man.
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Old 16-06-2017, 06:05 AM
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CP Satellite came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCP Satellite came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCP Satellite came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCP Satellite came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCP Satellite came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCP Satellite came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCP Satellite came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCP Satellite came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCP Satellite came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCP Satellite came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietCP Satellite came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
Paddy and his mate Murphy were at the Job Centre looking for jobs. Paddy got the right hump when he saw an advert for Tree Fellers. Bejesus Murphy, there's only two of us.

Paddy told me that in a two horse race in the Play-Offs, Brighton came third.
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Old 16-06-2017, 10:35 AM
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ONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineONFG : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mine
My other half told me to stop acting like a flamingo​, so I had to put my foot down.
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