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  #5001  
Old 10-10-2016, 07:51 PM
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doogleboy doogleboy is offline
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doogleboy came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietdoogleboy came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietdoogleboy came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietdoogleboy came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietdoogleboy came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietdoogleboy came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietdoogleboy came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietdoogleboy came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietdoogleboy came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietdoogleboy came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietdoogleboy came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
Mental health awareness day today. I feel like crap at the moment.
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  #5002  
Old 31-12-2016, 08:23 AM
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New Year's Day last year I wanted/tried to end everything. This year had ups and downs but for the most part I dealt with things ok. Today (almost one year to the day) I feel like I'm done. Not sure why but atm I don't want to deal with anything anymore. I try to be a good person, I try to help out everybody in my life (work/personal etc) as much as I can but it's never enough, constantly ****ed over or forgotten by everyone . Apart from my immediate family I doubt anyone would even know if I disappeared. I ******* hate feeling so closed off & alone. Sitting here trying not to ******* cry like like a little bitch as I type this

**** this shit, I'm not religious at at all but bless every one of you on the BBS

Palace forever
Paul
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  #5003  
Old 31-12-2016, 08:40 AM
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Paul doesn't matter if you cry it's normal and you said yourself mostly this year you've dealt with things ok and I would bet your family love you more than you know, don't be too hard on yourself mate, take a big breath, go for a walk and don't do anything stupid please.
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  #5004  
Old 31-12-2016, 08:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sydney eagle View Post
New Year's Day last year I wanted/tried to end everything. This year had ups and downs but for the most part I dealt with things ok. Today (almost one year to the day) I feel like I'm done. Not sure why but atm I don't want to deal with anything anymore. I try to be a good person, I try to help out everybody in my life (work/personal etc) as much as I can but it's never enough, constantly ****ed over or forgotten by everyone . Apart from my immediate family I doubt anyone would even know if I disappeared. I ******* hate feeling so closed off & alone. Sitting here trying not to ******* cry like like a little bitch as I type this

**** this shit, I'm not religious at at all but bless every one of you on the BBS

Palace forever
Paul
Mate, it's not unusual to feel like that at this time of year. Trust me. It sounds like you've got friends and family around you - use them, speak to someone and like SB says, don't do anything silly, please.
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  #5005  
Old 31-12-2016, 09:06 AM
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For anyone with a long term history of depression (me included), this can be a grim time of the year. It doesn't help with the media portraying Christmas and New Year as a time where you are almost ordered to be happy and when you aren't, you feel a failure for your feelings.

Get through these next few days and take each one as a target to do so and take it as a positive for yourself when you do. Then look at things again when this 'festive period' has passed. There have been times when I have had absolutely no desire to go on and if given a button I could press, I'd have willingly ended it. But I am glad no such button exists because I think of not seeing my dogs any longer and the effect my ending it would have on the handful of people who give a damn about me. Take that step back and try and let things pass. Take it hour by hour, day by day, let the time build and see where it leads. There are people who care on here and it is good to share your feelings when you need to.
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  #5006  
Old 31-12-2016, 09:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sydney eagle View Post
New Year's Day last year I wanted/tried to end everything. This year had ups and downs but for the most part I dealt with things ok. Today (almost one year to the day) I feel like I'm done. Not sure why but atm I don't want to deal with anything anymore. I try to be a good person, I try to help out everybody in my life (work/personal etc) as much as I can but it's never enough, constantly ****ed over or forgotten by everyone . Apart from my immediate family I doubt anyone would even know if I disappeared. I ******* hate feeling so closed off & alone. Sitting here trying not to ******* cry like like a little bitch as I type this

**** this shit, I'm not religious at at all but bless every one of you on the BBS

Palace forever
Paul
I don't think you can do any more than that mate, and would hazard a guess that you are far more important to the people around you than you realise. Go speak to someone, it doesn't even have to be about this, but put yourself in contact with somebody you like. If they are within walking distance, go by foot, it always seems to help clear my mind.
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  #5007  
Old 11-02-2017, 10:57 PM
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Supporting this team is hardly a cure is it. Did Bournemouth happen or was it a dream?
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  #5008  
Old 21-02-2017, 04:40 AM
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This passed me by in the summer. Was going to post it in the Arsenal thread but thought it was more appropriate here. Really brave I thought of Claude to come out and talk about such matters. (First 11 mins of the video).

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  #5009  
Old 24-03-2017, 11:58 AM
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I hate this F@@@@@@ illness whenever I just seem to be about to really achieve something in my life it raises it's stupid head and I start to self destruct and ruin everything.
I am so tired of fighting I might as well just give in and disapear
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  #5010  
Old 24-03-2017, 12:13 PM
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Popester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietPopester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietPopester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietPopester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietPopester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietPopester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietPopester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietPopester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietPopester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietPopester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietPopester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
You're not in a cycle, although it is understandable you feel that way. Things will improve, and as you said you've been achieving. Try and stand back from the traffic and keep going. Meet some mates over the weekend, have a laugh, and start back on Monday as a brand new week. It's hard but allowing yourself to do what you think you want to do (mellow, be alone, disappear) is absolutely the worst thing you can do right now.
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  #5011  
Old 24-03-2017, 12:26 PM
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I had major anxiety/depression, turned out to be a blood pressure tablet i got put on. I worked it out and the doctor still told me that they 'have to write those things in the instructions' and that i needed cognitive therapy. I told them i was going to stop taking them, which i did, within a couple of days i was a lot better, 3 months on i still get the anxiety but only with a trigger, I am not waking up every day with it.
The tablet was RAMIPRIL. They have now changed it, I was on the weakest dose of the Ramipril and the change was over a few months, the recovery was probably slightly quicker.
Good luck to all who are fighting these things. Hope this helps someone.
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  #5012  
Old 24-03-2017, 12:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by civil eagle View Post
I hate this F@@@@@@ illness whenever I just seem to be about to really achieve something in my life it raises it's stupid head and I start to self destruct and ruin everything.
I am so tired of fighting I might as well just give in and disapear
Little victories civil, its all about little victories.

Ring a mate and have a catch up. If that don't work, ring another mate (keep ringing). Visit family members if possible (am aware sometimes they are the last people you want interaction with).
If you've got a dog take it to the nearest park and talk to random strangers (awkward but it helps).
There are a multitude of things and avenues you can choose, but the easiest and most common is to close the curtains and pretend life outside your 4 walls doesn't exist (don't do that).
Go for a bike ride/run. Stay physically active if you're capable, verbally active if you're not.
Whatever the case, you cannot hide from the world mate, get out there and get amongst it. Its full of opportunities and amazing people, sometimes though its up to you to make the first move.
If you achieve any of the above then that is a little victory, and that is what its all about.
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  #5013  
Old 24-03-2017, 01:04 PM
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Originally Posted by civil eagle View Post
I hate this F@@@@@@ illness whenever I just seem to be about to really achieve something in my life it raises it's stupid head and I start to self destruct and ruin everything.
I am so tired of fighting I might as well just give in and disapear


What is the function, or purpose, of the self-destructive behaviour you refer to? Perhaps fear of extra responsibilities that your achievement may bring leads to a wish to self-sabotage?

Or maybe just the missus getting on your tits again.
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  #5014  
Old 24-03-2017, 01:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Jules View Post


What is the function, or purpose, of the self-destructive behaviour you refer to? Perhaps fear of extra responsibilities that your achievement may bring leads to a wish to self-sabotage?

Or maybe just the missus getting on your tits again.
Had some time off sick due to the depression, also since I've been back not performing as well as before. Was in-line for promotion boss has put it on hold as concerned my underlying condition might mean I can't deal with extra responsibility.
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Old 24-03-2017, 01:55 PM
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Originally Posted by civil eagle View Post
Had some time off sick due to the depression, also since I've been back not performing as well as before. Was in-line for promotion boss has put it on hold as concerned my underlying condition might mean I can't deal with extra responsibility.
How much do you believe you can handle the extra responsibility? How much do you want it/need it?
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  #5016  
Old 24-03-2017, 02:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Jules View Post
How much do you believe you can handle the extra responsibility? How much do you want it/need it?
When I am well I am sure I can handle the responsibility, I want it because I know I can do the job better than others at the grade above me, I need it because promotion is the only way to get a pay rise in the public sector at present.

The issue is the pressure, I have been doing the new role on a tempoaray basis for 4 months but also doing many aspects of my old job plus had a lot of external stress in January, that caused an episode of depression that meant I had time off, my meds were increased (which helped but also increased some of the unpleasant side affects) I'm back at work but just know I've let myself down and blown my chances and I'm sick of it.
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Old 24-03-2017, 02:14 PM
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No easy answers, but communication with your boss is clearly key. Are you sure you've let yourself down, or was it simply a matter of circumstances conspiring to sabotage you? Best of luck with it all.
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  #5018  
Old 24-03-2017, 02:54 PM
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When I am well I am sure I can handle the responsibility, I want it because I know I can do the job better than others at the grade above me, I need it because promotion is the only way to get a pay rise in the public sector at present.

The issue is the pressure, I have been doing the new role on a tempoaray basis for 4 months but also doing many aspects of my old job plus had a lot of external stress in January, that caused an episode of depression that meant I had time off, my meds were increased (which helped but also increased some of the unpleasant side affects) I'm back at work but just know I've let myself down and blown my chances and I'm sick of it.
I've just been off sick from my work for 6 weeks due to depression. Gone back now on a phased return and don't feel brilliant at all. I'm not really after promotion and, although I work for the NHS and they are really understanding, I am still on a phase 2 warning. That causes stress and it is a vicious circle but I've taken a bit of a shrug of the shoulders, Latin type view of work and it does make me feel a bit better.

Whatever happens at your work don't forget your wellbeing is the most important thing. Leave promotion for another year, there are other ways of measuring success than another step up the greasy pole. A smile from a relative for something you've done, a thank you from a stranger for opening a door for them, small successes and bits of happiness but they mount up.

Good luck.
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Old 24-03-2017, 04:28 PM
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There are plenty of aspects of promotion that are beneficial to good mental health:

- more cash
- higher status
- greater autonomy
- not feeling like a failure

The risk of some hazardous stuff too, of course...
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  #5020  
Old 24-03-2017, 07:20 PM
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Promise you won't laugh, but I found the best thing ever for my mental health was getting into.... gardening. It makes life so much more bearable to go home to a beautiful bit of outdoor space as the weather improves.

There's always something that needs doing if you want it, trying to encourage a bit of wildlife in or growing your own takes the satisfaction and stress busting to another level.

**** it, I'm even considering going full old man by putting my name down for an allotment.
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