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  #1  
Old 12-09-2008, 08:14 AM
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Ever Poohed Yourself In Public?

I ask because I was in Reflex and some guy who looked in his mid 30s crapped himself whilst standing in the bar! Couldn't of got any more embarrassing for the poor guy as bouncers were stopping people from going in the toilets while he cleaned himself up (it was all over his shoes). Then he got thrown out!

Anyone on here ever had similiar experiences. I had a close call once at Victoria Station. Didn't have any change so literally had to vault the barriers and charge down the stairs!
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Old 12-09-2008, 08:15 AM
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NO
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  #3  
Old 12-09-2008, 08:18 AM
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NO
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Old 12-09-2008, 08:18 AM
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Old 12-09-2008, 08:32 AM
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Twice.

I remember the first one well. It was on the evening of my 18th birthday (before drinks had commenced). I was waiting with my mates at the bus stop ready to go to the pub and I failed to pass wind in the traditional manner. I told my mates I needed to go home and change because I had crapped myself.

The second time was on a really cold day in winter when I was getting on my bike to ride to work. Because it was so cold, I was wearing pants, a pair of "bib" cycle shorts, a tee shirt over the bib straps, a pair of bib cycling trousers over the top of that, another t shirt over the straps of these and a wind proof jersey. As I put my leg over the saddle to get on the bike, I poo ed myself. Due to the layers of clothing, it took me 10 minutes to be in a position to assess the damage. It was a write off and I went in by train. Mrs. Seller got through 2 sets of chisels in the clean up operation.

There you have it.
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Old 12-09-2008, 08:38 AM
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Re: Ever Poohed Yourself In Public?

Quote:
Originally posted by Scrumpy
I ask because I was in Reflex and some guy who looked in his mid 30s crapped himself whilst standing in the bar! Couldn't of got any more embarrassing for the poor guy as bouncers were stopping people from going in the toilets while he cleaned himself up (it was all over his shoes). Then he got thrown out!
Did he pull after that?

The reason I ask is because I'm not sure crapping yourself in a nightclub is an attractive look in a man.
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  #7  
Old 12-09-2008, 08:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by OldPeanutSeller
Twice.

I remember the first one well. It was on the evening of my 18th birthday (before drinks had commenced). I was waiting with my mates at the bus stop ready to go to the pub and I failed to pass wind in the traditional manner. I told my mates I needed to go home and change because I had crapped myself.

The second time was on a really cold day in winter when I was getting on my bike to ride to work. Because it was so cold, I was wearing pants, a pair of "bib" cycle shorts, a tee shirt over the bib straps, a pair of bib cycling trousers over the top of that, another t shirt over the straps of these and a wind proof jersey. As I put my leg over the saddle to get on the bike, I poo ed myself. Due to the layers of clothing, it took me 10 minutes to be in a position to assess the damage. It was a write off and I went in by train. Mrs. Seller got through 2 sets of chisels in the clean up operation.

There you have it.


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Old 12-09-2008, 08:39 AM
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  #9  
Old 12-09-2008, 08:40 AM
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Re: Re: Ever Poohed Yourself In Public?

Quote:
Originally posted by ammiller
Did he pull after that?

The reason I ask is because I'm not sure crapping yourself in a nightclub is an attractive look in a man.
What look do you normally go for?
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  #10  
Old 12-09-2008, 08:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by OldPeanutSeller


The second time was on a really cold day in winter when I was getting on my bike to ride to work. Because it was so cold, I was wearing pants, a pair of "bib" cycle shorts, a tee shirt over the bib straps, a pair of bib cycling trousers over the top of that, another t shirt over the straps of these and a wind proof jersey. As I put my leg over the saddle to get on the bike, I poo ed myself. Due to the layers of clothing, it took me 10 minutes to be in a position to assess the damage. It was a write off and I went in by train. Mrs. Seller got through 2 sets of chisels in the clean up operation.

There you have it.
I've had a similar close call. I had to pull over at the side of the A6 thinking the combination a long days riding and eating nothing but NutriGrain bars and PowerGel had caused me to crap myself.

Luckily after peeling back lyrca it turned out the fart coupled with the Chamois cream and sweat had just seemed like a very runny one. That said I don't think the people in the cars watching the cyclist wiping his arse by the side of the road could tell much difference.
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  #11  
Old 12-09-2008, 08:50 AM
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Just the once, and I'm not sure it is legit as I was only 10 or so - not full on adult embarrassment as a result.

Anyway, happily climbing a tree on holiday (like you do) - concious that I probably need to head over to the toilet at some point soon but am having too much fun with the aforementioned arsing around in vegitation thing to be bothered to do so.

There's the back story. The rest goes something like this.

Paying less than the requisite attention for tree climbing, foot slips on branch - I proceed to fall out of tree (quite possibly letting out a particularly girlish scream) - bowels loosen at moment of imminent disaster, and whilst reaching out to grab a passing branch I shat myself.

Dunno whether anyone has ever tried to climb out of tree with a not insubstantial log in their keks but it ain't easy...
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Old 12-09-2008, 08:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by OldPeanutSeller
I failed to pass wind in the traditional manner. I told my mates I needed to go home and change because I had crapped myself.
sharted
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Old 12-09-2008, 08:55 AM
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Surely most of us as youngsters have let loose an unexpected 'wet fart'?

For my part I've never pooed in public as an adult but some years ago I was very much taken aback when a river of (literally) liquid brown stuff was released as I let out what I assumed would be a regulation blast of gas. Luckily I was at home at the time.

My wife pood herself a little bit in South Africa when I failed to appreciate the seriousness of her dodgy stomach and wouldn't allow her to run off to the loo while I was trying to check in to a hotel in Durban because I didn't want to have to keep an eye on all the bags at the same time. She had to put the stained knickers in the bin in our room - the smell was like Satan.
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Old 12-09-2008, 08:59 AM
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After a night on the wine....the next morning and an early rise meant I didn't have time for a full poo. I had to nip it off, as I was running late.

At the petrol station some 5 minutes later, i felt a mumour down below. It didn't even cross my mind that it might be a bad idea to push. It must have only been a split second of notice before the undesireables approached.

I can only thank my lucky stars and my quick reflexes that it never passed the buttock.

Never the less though a clean up was in order and being as it was 6 am and nothing was open...A man could be seen in a Asda car park in North Manchester, removing boxers to provide suitable cleaning material...

Now thats what you call Pay At Pump!!!
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Old 12-09-2008, 08:59 AM
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my old boss shit his pants in the Alphabet Bar in Soho, went to the loo, removed his shitty keks and then returned and handed them to the barman.

genius.

I have shat myself twice.

Once after taking LSD in an Austrian cave and then getting caught short in the glass lift on the outside of the hotel. Dropped a runny load overlooking Salzburg.

Another time in Magaluf, I rolled in plastered, sat on the loo and let rip a huge liquid flow, then realised I hadn't dropped my trousers.

carry on.
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Old 12-09-2008, 09:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by paf
my old boss shit his pants in the Alphabet Bar in Soho, went to the loo, removed his shitty keks and then returned and handed them to the barman.

genius.

I have shat myself twice.

Once after taking LSD in an Austrian cave and then getting caught short in the glass lift on the outside of the hotel. Dropped a runny load overlooking Salzburg.

Another time in Magaluf, I rolled in plastered, sat on the loo and let rip a huge liquid flow, then realised I hadn't dropped my trousers.

carry on.

just spat my tea and nearly vomited
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Old 12-09-2008, 09:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by paf
Another time in Magaluf, I rolled in plastered, sat on the loo and let rip a huge liquid flow, then realised I hadn't dropped my trousers.

carry on.
I'm actually crying
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Old 12-09-2008, 09:01 AM
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Anyone who reckons they've never done a wet fart,must be lying surely?

Went to a warehouse party once,after an evening on the snakebites in the pub.The moment i arrived at the party,i popped up a wet one.Went to the bog,removed offending boxer shorts,took the bogbrush out of its holder,inserted offending article in holder,put the brush back on top of them and hit the dancefloor.
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Old 12-09-2008, 09:02 AM
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selhurstparkflyer stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farselhurstparkflyer stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farselhurstparkflyer stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farselhurstparkflyer stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farselhurstparkflyer stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farselhurstparkflyer stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farselhurstparkflyer stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farselhurstparkflyer stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farselhurstparkflyer stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farselhurstparkflyer stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farselhurstparkflyer stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that far
Munich Beer Festival 1999.

I made a fatal mistake; did not sus out where the bogs were before I started drinking. We landed at Hamburg airport in mid afternoon and had 2 litres of wheat beer (why, I ask did we need that ahead of the biggst beer sale on God's earth, I don't know)?. But anyway we did. After taxiing to our lodges and throwing our kit down, off we headed for the Hofbraihouse (or however you spell it.) We sit down at about 5 and all, like excited teenagers in sweet shop, neck the first 3 litres as if they were our last.
From then it becomes hazy. What I remember is needing a dump but thinking I could supress it; I really couldn't be bothered. But I had not legsilated for wheat beer. Gradually, the urges became less controllable and I headed towards the exit for the dumper, thinking its location would be easy to spot. Itw asn't. I looked, I found nothing, I panicked; In fact, I shat myself. There and then. 7pm on a sunny evening, I am standing around in shit filled shorts.

Did my friends show me any sympathy? Did one of them offer to escort me back to the lodgings (we had no mobiles)? Did they fukk? They loved it. Nothing had made them laugh in years. So tehre I was (my shorts were now soaking as I attemptd to hose myself down) and brown. It was disgusting. But I carried on. UNtil 11 in fact. I even had a ride on a roller coaster, which I am sure was fun for all the other passengers.
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If we can beat the Germans with full employment (albeit, not with 11 men) then why can't we use those men to fight poverty and disease?

Last edited by selhurstparkflyer; 12-09-2008 at 09:12 AM.
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Old 12-09-2008, 09:07 AM
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After we beat Brighton 5-0 my uncle and I went on a bit of a drinkathon round Beckenham. After last orders we stopped off at the Eden Spice having rung through our orders earlier. As we approached his he ran off up the garden path - I thought he was just keen to get tucked into his curry - but oh no, as he put his key in the door and shat himself
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