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  #1  
Old 26-02-2005, 09:58 PM
RickyB RickyB is offline
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RickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
Stupid things women say...

Just been watching Comic Aid on BBC 1 when the announcer says "please welcome.. Cathrine Zeta Jones". On walks Dawn French. My girlfriend announces.... with a pause ...

"That's not her!"

Classic! :-)
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  #2  
Old 26-02-2005, 10:06 PM
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Chester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
My girlfriend asked when Birmingham and Birmingham City were playing each other as it would be a big local derby.
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Old 26-02-2005, 10:08 PM
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When Princess Di died my sister in law told my brother that Di's car was being chased by Pavorotti on a motor bike!!
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Old 26-02-2005, 10:09 PM
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Chester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
We were also watching a program on saline Breast implants. One womans leaked and she had to have it removed. I said that this was lucky as if it had been left in a moment longer it would have started sucking all of the moisture out of her body and she would start shrinking until she was eventually only a few inches tall. Half an hour later my girlfried still couldnt believe this and i had to admit that i was in fact talking out of my arse.
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Old 26-02-2005, 10:11 PM
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RickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
It really is truly astounding the amount of shit my girlfriend will believe if said in an authoritive tone :-)
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Old 26-02-2005, 10:21 PM
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whilst watching bayern munich and arsenal in the champions league.

"why are you watching it if you don't support them?"

oh dear.
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Old 26-02-2005, 10:50 PM
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"Why have you set the alarm for 7am?"

- "Going up the Palace; want to get back home, have a bath and meet the family in plenty of time"

"The Palace?"

- "Yes, Crystal Palace - the team I take you to watch sometimes..."

"Oh right. Are you playing or watching?"

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Old 26-02-2005, 10:54 PM
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whilest watchin palace playing reading last season on the telly(the night game),my mrs turned to me and said "it cant be live its dark outside"!!!.how i laughed
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Old 26-02-2005, 11:03 PM
RickyB RickyB is offline
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RickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
Quote:
Originally posted by Brett
"Why have you set the alarm for 7am?"

- "Going up the Palace; want to get back home, have a bath and meet the family in plenty of time"

"The Palace?"

- "Yes, Crystal Palace - the team I take you to watch sometimes..."

"Oh right. Are you playing or watching?"

hahaha!

That's quality!
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Old 26-02-2005, 11:04 PM
RickyB RickyB is offline
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RickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietRickyB came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
Quote:
Originally posted by gloslad
whilest watchin palace playing reading last season on the telly(the night game),my mrs turned to me and said "it cant be live its dark outside"!!!.how i laughed
My missus has done the same one on me :-) Twice.. hehe
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  #11  
Old 27-02-2005, 12:08 AM
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Jim Cannon Jim Cannon is offline
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I have just been to see a good female friend of mine, on asking me how Palace got on today she asked what the score was, so I said we won 2-0, she replied Oh OK, is that good then?

This has probably been said many times before, but try explaining the offside rule to most girls and you'll get all manner of stupid comments.
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Old 27-02-2005, 12:22 AM
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This has probably been said many times before, but try explaining the offside rule to most girls and you'll get all manner of stupid comments. [/B][/QUOTE]

Oh yeah, because the present o/s rules are so clear to us lads!
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  #13  
Old 27-02-2005, 12:59 AM
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I had a GF who totally believed both Spinal tap and Alan Partridge were real..she just assumed ST were a "shite band" and could not believe "why that guy is still presenting,he's rubbish!"
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Old 27-02-2005, 01:06 AM
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Jim Cannon Jim Cannon is offline
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Slightly off topic, because this story is about my Dad rather than a woman:

When Dario Gradi was our manager in 1981, to begin with he believed his name was Darry O'Grady now if he wasn't a Palace fan or interested in football I might understand. Still makes me chuckle to think about it now.
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Old 27-02-2005, 01:07 AM
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Jim Cannon Jim Cannon is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by dagga36
I had a GF who totally believed both Spinal tap and Alan Partridge were real..she just assumed ST were a "shite band" and could not believe "why that guy is still presenting,he's rubbish!"
LOL who was that Dagga?
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Old 27-02-2005, 01:11 AM
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I used to work with this girl who was a massive wrestling fan. One day she was telling everyone in the office that she had tickets to go to some bout or other. Everyone started laughing and telling her that it's all fixed and is a bit of a joke, but she would not have it, totally rejected the argument. One of the ladies explained to her that years before she had a boyfriend who was a wrestler, that he had previously worked as an acrobat at a circus and that it was indeed fixed.
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Old 27-02-2005, 01:15 AM
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what a funny thread
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Old 27-02-2005, 01:36 AM
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recent classics from my girlfriend include...

"where does the M25 go to?"

"why don't you paint your lounge a mongolia colour?" (obviously meaning magnolia)

...and I mentioned recently that I might try and sneak into a vets football team next season, which puzzled her, as she thought I was going to try and play for a team full of vetinerary surgeons.

Bless.
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Old 27-02-2005, 01:37 AM
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Last edited by Justy C; 27-02-2005 at 08:42 AM.
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Old 27-02-2005, 10:23 AM
Henfield Eagle Henfield Eagle is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jim Cannon
I have just been to see a good female friend of mine, on asking me how Palace got on today she asked what the score was, so I said we won 2-0, she replied Oh OK, is that good then?

This has probably been said many times before, but try explaining the offside rule to most girls and you'll get all manner of stupid comments.
And Cricket
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