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  #41  
Old 27-02-2005, 01:42 PM
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me and my dad are watching MOTD and my nan walks in and asks what are we watching, so my dad says it's the highlights of the football, and my nan asks Is it live??? at bloody 8.30 in the morning
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  #42  
Old 27-02-2005, 01:46 PM
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My ex wife asked me during the last world cup why that Japanese player was playing with a mask on ( can't remember his name ) I told her it was because his Grandad was a Kamikaze pilot during the war but got shot down by the americans . The mask was all they found of him and he now wears it in every game as a mark of respect to his gramps ...Much to my delight as well as believing it she went into work the next day telling anyone who would listen the mask story - Until someone pointed out the real reason that is
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  #43  
Old 27-02-2005, 01:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by citizen sane
My ex wife asked me during the last world cup why that Japanese player was playing with a mask on ( can't remember his name ) I told her it was because his Grandad was a Kamikaze pilot during the war but got shot down by the americans . The mask was all they found of him and he now wears it in every game as a mark of respect to his gramps ...Much to my delight as well as believing it she went into work the next day telling anyone who would listen the mask story - Until someone pointed out the real reason that is
That's just evil, but very funny. Good work fella
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  #44  
Old 27-02-2005, 01:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by citizen sane
My ex wife asked me during the last world cup why that Japanese player was playing with a mask on ( can't remember his name ) I told her it was because his Grandad was a Kamikaze pilot during the war but got shot down by the americans . The mask was all they found of him and he now wears it in every game as a mark of respect to his gramps ...Much to my delight as well as believing it she went into work the next day telling anyone who would listen the mask story - Until someone pointed out the real reason that is
I can see why she is your ex-wife then
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  #45  
Old 27-02-2005, 02:00 PM
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My GF thinks there were an awful lot of animals injured during the Vietnam war when she hears people talking about all the 'Vietnam vets'.
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  #46  
Old 27-02-2005, 02:01 PM
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One ex-of mine commented that Alan Smith looked extremely young to be a football manager, but couldn't understand how he could manage Palace while being an Arsenal player but asked if he was "on loan" from Palace.......
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  #47  
Old 27-02-2005, 02:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by citizen sane
My ex wife asked me during the last world cup why that Japanese player was playing with a mask on ( can't remember his name ) I told her it was because his Grandad was a Kamikaze pilot during the war but got shot down by the americans . The mask was all they found of him and he now wears it in every game as a mark of respect to his gramps ...Much to my delight as well as believing it she went into work the next day telling anyone who would listen the mask story - Until someone pointed out the real reason that is
erm...so why did he have a mask on?
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  #48  
Old 27-02-2005, 02:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hilltop Meggie
erm...so why did he have a mask on?
The player, Tsuneyasu Miyamoto, had broken his cheekbone, and wore the mask as protection so he could still play in the finals.


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  #49  
Old 27-02-2005, 02:40 PM
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I don't know about women saying daft things the daftest thing i ever said was "i do" and boy am i suffering for it now!
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  #50  
Old 27-02-2005, 02:52 PM
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Now whilst I understand the offside rule (well, sort of) I have to confess to being guilty of a few girlie things.

For instance quite often when out with my daughter we give a perfect stranger the 'once over' and often remark 'She/he looks good for their age' even though we have not the remotest idea of how old they are.
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  #51  
Old 27-02-2005, 03:02 PM
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My missus has trouble with reading I think. One night we were playing Trivial Pursuit with another couple. I got a Geography question that she read as follows



"What is the moun-tay-nious reggion of Tibbet?"

I could have died.
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  #52  
Old 27-02-2005, 10:03 PM
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as a woman i am not sure i should be contributing to this thread but gotta tell you about my best mate Samantha.

She met a new man and he plays semi pro footy. Anyway Sam had never ever been to a footy game before or watched one on telly (she hates the game). But anyway cos she is with new man and wants to impress him or something we go to watch him play. About twenty mins into the first half she says to me -"why is that bloke in black blowing that whistle all the time he is doing my head in - can;t he shut up"!!!!

then...........her new man scores a cracking goal curled in from the half way line so I say "oh my god Sam - Greggy has just scored from the half way line" to which the reply comes back - where is the half way line.!!!!!!
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  #53  
Old 27-02-2005, 10:54 PM
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we really should take pity on them....poor things.
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  #54  
Old 27-02-2005, 11:55 PM
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Lizzy28, you win. Or Samantha does.
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  #55  
Old 28-02-2005, 12:59 AM
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Once I was talking about cricket and my girlfriend overheard me talking about the 'meat' of the bat. She asked me what this meant and I told here that cricket bats were hollow with sirloin steak inside them, and that this was the 'meat'. She did beleive me for a few minutes.
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  #56  
Old 28-02-2005, 01:15 AM
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  #57  
Old 28-02-2005, 02:43 AM
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Many years ago my younger sister was trying her hand in the kitchen. her head came through the dining room hatch (recipe in hand) and she asked, "What's bick a bone ate?"...........................(Bicarbonate)
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  #58  
Old 28-02-2005, 03:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lizzy28
as a woman i am not sure i should be contributing to this thread but gotta tell you about my best mate Samantha.

She met a new man and he plays semi pro footy. Anyway Sam had never ever been to a footy game before or watched one on telly (she hates the game). But anyway cos she is with new man and wants to impress him or something we go to watch him play. About twenty mins into the first half she says to me -"why is that bloke in black blowing that whistle all the time he is doing my head in - can;t he shut up"!!!!

then...........her new man scores a cracking goal curled in from the half way line so I say "oh my god Sam - Greggy has just scored from the half way line" to which the reply comes back - where is the half way line.!!!!!!
To be fair to your mate, the bloke in black often does my head in too...
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  #59  
Old 28-02-2005, 11:40 AM
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When on holiday a few years ago we were talking about gardening and our friend's wife came out with.........B&Q is a really good place to get a climbing clitoris from!

Nearly everyone within earshot choked.



Sorry it would help if I spelt it right!
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  #60  
Old 28-02-2005, 11:45 AM
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Chester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietChester came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
My mum also asked how golfers managed to curl the ball so much when they were putting on the greens and wouldnt it be easier if they just hit it straight.
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