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Devoute Catholic and Agnostic relationship ... can it work
Hi all ... I'm turning to the BBS for this very personal matter and would like some serious repsonses ( If possible !!!! )
I am 36 years old and live in Spain, married and going through a divorce with my wife of 7 years, and have 2 children. I went to a C.of E school at a young age but since then the only time I really have been to church is for births, deaths and marriages. I was married in the local church where my whole family has been either married or baptised in. I have indeed been baptised as has one of my children. Being of a mathematical/scientific mind, I do not take things for granted ... I like proof and I guess over the years religion to me has seased to become important. Mainly it has served as just tradition in the family and not a basis of a way of life. I am not certain that a GOD exisits. I wish my children to make their own descions and choices in life as I have done . NOW .... in 2000 I met a girl who was working as a top cathwalk model .... we partied a lot over 3 months, and we both felt that we were going to be very imprtant in each others lives. SOULMATES personified. Due to personal circumstances we parted back to our relative countries ( UK and Germany), and although we stayed in touch for a long time, life together never happend .. she went aorund the world modelling, living in a world of rockstars and superstars . This year after a loss of a close personal friend of hers she decided to track me down, and in may this year via email she managed to do this.... To cut a long story short .... she is now devoute Charasmatic Catholic. She is a beautiful women in all aspects, she is very imprtant to her church and her people around her. She is so caring and loving to all ... it is amazing. BUT she bases her WHOLE life around the church . She pilgramages, she goes to special services at 3am in the morning ,she goes to 're-alighment' weekend , sh goes to services when people pray in toungues..etc etc etc ... and she has been led by her'godmother' into all of this for the last 4 years when she was baptised. We both have recognised that we are 'the one' for each other and are very much in love , in the way that we both need and both want. WHERE IS THE PROBLEM ... She is finding alot of flack from her church life towards me ... A married man with 2 children , but she has made the choices herslef to visit and see me and indeed is moving here to start a new life. I am worried that the level into which she has been taken into the church is almost at a brainwashing level. I accept her faith and marvel in it ... but to me she is too extreme and there is no middle ground to meet on... as she says ... the only thing that is important is LOVE and Jesus is love .... We haev many differing values .. She is Prolife and I am Prochoice to start with ... so any forms of birthcontrol are a no no. Just discussing AIds in Africa becomes a huge debate on morals rather than a talk about simply stoping disease from spreading using modern tools. We are very close, and I wish at 36 years old to have an active sex life as I have for the last 20 years. Without going into too much detail we cannot have full sex , which is starting to fraustrate me and her. She is not willing to do this UNTIL a full divorce and you have guessed it , FOR ME TO ANUL my wedding. I am not willing to do this as this means me and my ex-wife apparantly going and explaining that we both were of non-sound mind when we got married. We may have our differences but our marriage was based on love and my children stemmed from that love , and by me doing this for me would devalue my love for my children I love her ... she loves me ... more than anyone ever has done. We are perfect together., WHich is why it hurts me so much when I had to tell her that I think it is best that we are JUST GOOD FRIENDS., as our values are so far apart. She thinks that love will find away .... WHAT DOES EVERONE ELSE THINK. ANy ideas would be greatly appreciated
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We are Red and Blue ... Who the f*$#_!@ hell are you ! |
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#2
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I think you are right to say you should just be friends for now. Annulment of your marriage is surely out of the question. Can I be harsh? Either she knows that is the case, and doesn't care - is she tremendously self-centred? - or she is too insensitive to realise what it means to you. Tread very carefully. |
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#3
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She's a mental.
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#4
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pics?
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Sav tHe late nihgt cliquie |
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#5
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Steer well clear.
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Thomas Hardy is an effing C. Originally Posted by CPFC2010ANDON Please don't mention him again though as it is difficult at the moment, and I don't want to talk about it. |
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#6
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I'm not sure you even can annul a marriage that's lasted so long can you?
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hello! |
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#7
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need pics, so I can judge er.. how mental she might be.
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Beavis & Butthead, bringing them back |
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#8
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Im not sure on the anul buisness .... But I feel like finding an English speaking priest here and asking him the facts, without getting onto the does God exist thing... but the whole thing is completely open for debate ... it actually says in the Bible somewhere that Catholics shouldnt 'yoke' themselves into relationships with non - beleivers or other religions.... I have to tell you though the whole thing is agony for me. I have always loved her and now I have her ... I just cant reach her
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We are Red and Blue ... Who the f*$#_!@ hell are you ! |
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#9
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Lutheran bigot.
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You take a club or a torch. Beat 'em or burn 'em, they go up pretty easy. |
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#10
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I thought WCB attended Westboro Baptists?
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Beavis & Butthead, bringing them back |
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#11
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Sounds like your only choice. (It was a typo, wasn't it?) |
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#12
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Were you married in a CofE church? I know a little bit about Catholic annulment and divorce, as I know the Priest who deals with it for Arundel and Brighton. It is made as difficult as possible for obvious reasons and the only real way to do it is to claim that one of you didn't intend to have children, which is the reason for marriage. Deceit can then be claimed. That isn't much use for you as you have kids. To be honest I think you are screwed on that side of things so it is down to whether she is going to be able to deal with that. |
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#13
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There isn't a problem re Catholics marrying people from other religions in itself, as long as they are willing to have a Catholic marriage and bring up any kids so. My wedding would have been a lot easier logistically if I hadn't converted before the wedding.
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#14
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Safely to say she IS beautiful both in looks and in mind !
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We are Red and Blue ... Who the f*$#_!@ hell are you ! |
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#15
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You're right. wcb = Westboro Church Baptist. And it's Calvinist not Lutheran, sorry wcb.
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You take a club or a torch. Beat 'em or burn 'em, they go up pretty easy. |
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#16
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She wants to have kids and be a Mother ... so I guess ... We are doomed ![]()
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We are Red and Blue ... Who the f*$#_!@ hell are you ! |
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#17
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I didn't know Jordan took religion so seriously.
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#18
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Whats good for the priests I guess ... oops sorry cant get into that debate ![]()
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We are Red and Blue ... Who the f*$#_!@ hell are you ! |
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#19
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Thomas Hardy is an effing C. Originally Posted by CPFC2010ANDON Please don't mention him again though as it is difficult at the moment, and I don't want to talk about it. |
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#20
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If she thinks that love will find a way then stick with it, she'll find that for it to find a way then she needs to compromise. There will be some shite times but if it is meant to be it will be worth them. Good luck. |
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