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Dougie Freedman - Small-minded fans are simply bitter
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  #1  
Old 31-10-2012, 06:33 PM
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Dougie Freedman - Small-minded fans are simply bitter
Ex-Palace boss lambasts mentality at the club where he made his name.

http://www.south-londontoday.co.uk/S...ne=Freedman%3b

Quote:
Small-minded fans are simply bitter

I always said that when the time was right I would put my arm around myself and say: Look, I've taken myself as far as we can. It’s time for us to move on. Then I’d advise both myselves which was the best club for us all to go to. So I did. It's true: I have signed a very generous contract with the Wanderers. But it’s not about money -- and it’s really not because I've got plenty from my exploits as a legendary player at Forest, Wolves and Leeds, and as a successful businessman renting out PE teachers to obese stockbrokers. I have been quoted as saying that to stay at Palace would jeopardise the lives of my family -- and some typically unimaginative Palace fans have tried to highlight an alleged inconsistency in my golden words.

What the fans fail to realise is that I never meant that remaining down south would fail to afford me the funds to put food on my children’s plates -- but rather that, even if faced with a feast of stovies, tatties and Irn Bru, my kids would still be unable to eat as long as I continued to honour my contract at Crystal Palace. You see, Steve Parish has a terrible habit of putting things in people's mouths. Last June the wife swears she saw him trying to put a VHS box set of The Equaliser into my eldest. I will not let him put anything in me -- I cannot do it: not even my mild indifference for the club could convince me otherwise.

I planted grass and so can do as I please

I am aware of much speculation on the Twitter and the Crystal Palace IBS regarding my meeting with Parish last Sunday. I can assure you that it was an open and honest exchange of views. I recall at one particularly heated moment saying: "Och yeah, listen, look," to which Steve Parish retorted: "Well, y’know..." in that typically casual yet arrogant way of his. I thought: How dare you tell the Npower Championship Manager of the Month for September what he knows -- and at that moment I told him I wanted to speak to Bolton. Now Parish is a cunning individual, and it took me several minutes to emphasise to him that I had meant Bolton the football club and not Michael Bolton, the handsome American singer-songwriter. He had used this same ploy some eighteen months previously after which I had spent a lacklustre evening in the company of Terence Trent D'Arby - but this time I was wise to his tricks.

The right tools

Last week I was driving the wife and kids up the M40 under the cover of darkness when I had to swerve to narrowly avoid a lackadaisical badger. After pausing for a few moments to catch our breaths we continued on our way. But after 45 minutes of the deep thought for which I am already renowned, I turned the car around and headed back to the scene of the near-miss. Thankfully, after a couple of hours searching, my eldest found the animal loitering near a shrub. I was surprised to see him in fine health -- not a scratch and in quite good spirits.

But then I had a feeling -- a kind of tingling in my belly -- the kind you get when you're a kid. This badger had cheated death thanks only to my keen reflexes and pure heart. It simply wasn't fit enough. We followed the beast back to its warren where, under the quivering light of a torch held by my youngest, I battered the badger and its family to an honourable death with a shovel lent to me by my father-in-law, former England goalkeeper Ray Clemence.

Now these are not the actions of a man who leaves things half finished. A man in a rush I may be, but I will stop at nothing to maintain my own high standards. My hope is that in two or three seasons time, when the dust has settled and I have the total respect of all mammals, my children will have at last regained the ability to speak. And I pray (to myself) that when they do, it will be with the broad Lancashire accent which we Glaswegians find so sophisticated.

Dougie Freedman, MM (Sept.)
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Old 31-10-2012, 06:35 PM
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Old 31-10-2012, 06:52 PM
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Tony Montana is happy as a lark and everything is fineTony Montana is happy as a lark and everything is fineTony Montana is happy as a lark and everything is fineTony Montana is happy as a lark and everything is fineTony Montana is happy as a lark and everything is fineTony Montana is happy as a lark and everything is fineTony Montana is happy as a lark and everything is fineTony Montana is happy as a lark and everything is fineTony Montana is happy as a lark and everything is fineTony Montana is happy as a lark and everything is fineTony Montana is happy as a lark and everything is fine
Cant believe he said all that, used to love that bloke.
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Old 31-10-2012, 06:52 PM
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cockles : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minecockles : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minecockles : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minecockles : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minecockles : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minecockles : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minecockles : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minecockles : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minecockles : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minecockles : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minecockles : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mine
That's actually how I understood the original too. Except, he's not only September MoM, he knocked Man Utd out of the Carling Cup too.
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Old 31-10-2012, 06:54 PM
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Very good, made me laugh out loud on the train, espevially the bit about TTd'Arby.
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Old 31-10-2012, 06:55 PM
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Kipungu : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineKipungu : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineKipungu : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineKipungu : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineKipungu : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineKipungu : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineKipungu : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineKipungu : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineKipungu : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineKipungu : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineKipungu : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mine
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Old 31-10-2012, 07:00 PM
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Sunny Fan lets there be sunlight, lets there be rain, lets the brokenhearted love againSunny Fan lets there be sunlight, lets there be rain, lets the brokenhearted love againSunny Fan lets there be sunlight, lets there be rain, lets the brokenhearted love againSunny Fan lets there be sunlight, lets there be rain, lets the brokenhearted love againSunny Fan lets there be sunlight, lets there be rain, lets the brokenhearted love againSunny Fan lets there be sunlight, lets there be rain, lets the brokenhearted love againSunny Fan lets there be sunlight, lets there be rain, lets the brokenhearted love againSunny Fan lets there be sunlight, lets there be rain, lets the brokenhearted love againSunny Fan lets there be sunlight, lets there be rain, lets the brokenhearted love againSunny Fan lets there be sunlight, lets there be rain, lets the brokenhearted love againSunny Fan lets there be sunlight, lets there be rain, lets the brokenhearted love again
Excellent, we've missed you Dick
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Old 31-10-2012, 07:02 PM
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sydney eagle was playing in the snow, was banging on the doors; climbed up on the roof, the roof of the worldsydney eagle was playing in the snow, was banging on the doors; climbed up on the roof, the roof of the worldsydney eagle was playing in the snow, was banging on the doors; climbed up on the roof, the roof of the worldsydney eagle was playing in the snow, was banging on the doors; climbed up on the roof, the roof of the worldsydney eagle was playing in the snow, was banging on the doors; climbed up on the roof, the roof of the worldsydney eagle was playing in the snow, was banging on the doors; climbed up on the roof, the roof of the worldsydney eagle was playing in the snow, was banging on the doors; climbed up on the roof, the roof of the worldsydney eagle was playing in the snow, was banging on the doors; climbed up on the roof, the roof of the worldsydney eagle was playing in the snow, was banging on the doors; climbed up on the roof, the roof of the worldsydney eagle was playing in the snow, was banging on the doors; climbed up on the roof, the roof of the worldsydney eagle was playing in the snow, was banging on the doors; climbed up on the roof, the roof of the world


Best post ive read in ages
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Old 31-10-2012, 07:04 PM
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Old 31-10-2012, 07:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dick salad
But then I had a feeling -- a kind of tingling in my belly -- the kind you get when you're a kid. This badger had cheated death thanks only to my keen reflexes and pure heart. It simply wasn't fit enough. We followed the beast back to its warren where, under the quivering light of a torch held by my youngest, I battered the badger and its family to an honourable death with a shovel lent to me by my father-in-law, former England goalkeeper Ray Clemence.

You just upset my wife as she had to pause Coronation Street because i was laughing too loud.
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Old 31-10-2012, 07:08 PM
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Pistol Knight : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minePistol Knight : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minePistol Knight : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minePistol Knight : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minePistol Knight : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minePistol Knight : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minePistol Knight : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minePistol Knight : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minePistol Knight : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minePistol Knight : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minePistol Knight : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mine
Nice one ( the first 2 lines my jaw hit the floor............then )
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Can you imagine the sky commentators making some reference to South Londoners enjoying their day out - cut to a 40 year old in full Palace kit dribbling whilst a mexican wave flies past.

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Old 31-10-2012, 07:35 PM
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Terence Trent D'Arby... Brilliant!
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Old 31-10-2012, 07:36 PM
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Windsor_Eagle : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineWindsor_Eagle : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineWindsor_Eagle : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineWindsor_Eagle : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineWindsor_Eagle : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineWindsor_Eagle : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineWindsor_Eagle : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineWindsor_Eagle : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineWindsor_Eagle : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineWindsor_Eagle : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineWindsor_Eagle : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mine
Fantastic....
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Old 31-10-2012, 07:38 PM
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great spoof
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Old 31-10-2012, 07:42 PM
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thefox : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minethefox : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minethefox : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minethefox : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minethefox : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minethefox : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minethefox : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minethefox : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minethefox : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minethefox : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minethefox : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mine
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Old 31-10-2012, 07:51 PM
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Supoib work.
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Old 31-10-2012, 08:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JJ
Very good, made me laugh out loud on the train, espevially the bit about TTd'Arby.


Just as well he wasn't in the running for Scunthorpe!!
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Old 31-10-2012, 08:19 PM
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stinky : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minestinky : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minestinky : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minestinky : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minestinky : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minestinky : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minestinky : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minestinky : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minestinky : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minestinky : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of minestinky : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mine
Dick Salad is back!

And for those who missed his Warnock one..

http://www.cpfc.org/forums/showthread.php?t=198391
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Old 31-10-2012, 08:40 PM
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ANDI29 lets the band keep playing on and on and on, til the break of dawnANDI29 lets the band keep playing on and on and on, til the break of dawnANDI29 lets the band keep playing on and on and on, til the break of dawnANDI29 lets the band keep playing on and on and on, til the break of dawnANDI29 lets the band keep playing on and on and on, til the break of dawnANDI29 lets the band keep playing on and on and on, til the break of dawnANDI29 lets the band keep playing on and on and on, til the break of dawnANDI29 lets the band keep playing on and on and on, til the break of dawnANDI29 lets the band keep playing on and on and on, til the break of dawnANDI29 lets the band keep playing on and on and on, til the break of dawnANDI29 lets the band keep playing on and on and on, til the break of dawn
I just I cannot believe that this is the freedman I'm shocked I don't get this
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Old 31-10-2012, 08:48 PM
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Very funny! Right up with the high standard of the Warnock one. Good to get a break from the interminable new manager odds thread.
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