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zonin2000
11-05-2002, 01:58 AM
Following the shock announcement of Andy Cole's international retirement on Thursday, Dean Austin has also declared that he "will never play for England while Sven Goran Eriksson is the manager." Austin was reportedly distraught at having been overlooked for the troublesome left wing position. Speaking to the World press at Crystal Palace's Beckenham headquaters, Austin revealed "I have long accepted that I will never be able to make the right back position my own, what with Danny Mills, Jamie Carragher, Phil Neville and Barry Chuckle ahead of me, but I do believe that I would have been Sven's best option for the left midfield spot." According to reports, Eriksson visited Austin at his Purley home late on Wednesday, to deliver the news that he had omitted Austin from the squad due to travel to Japan and Korea. Austin allegedly burst in to tears upon hearing the shock news. Experts are baffled as to why Eriksson decided to omit the skillful but volatile player from his squad. In a WORLD EXCLUSIVE, Terry Venables told the SUN "I revived Deano's career when I brought him to Palace, and recieved a huge slice of the transfer fee, and I am shocked that Sven has omitted him from his squad. Deano has that rare commodity at international level, interruption." Although we have no idea what El Tel is going on about, we are sure that the great man's words make sense, which is why we pay him 2500 per ghostwritten column. El Tel continued "I'm sure that Deano will be devastated at the moment, alright guv, do what, know what I mean, but he's just got to pick himself up and prepare himself for next season, hoping to impress Sven in time for Euro 2004, which of course will be screened on ITV :D".

The Sun, 10th May 2002.

selhurstparkflyer
11-05-2002, 02:12 AM
he is more likely to play for england post world cup 2002 than andy cole was ever likely too:)

anti-addick
11-05-2002, 02:20 AM
LMFHO!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

AnotherPete
11-05-2002, 02:23 AM
Oh well, what the heck.

I'm 47 and haven't played football for 25 years now.

I hereby announce my retirement from international football (unless Sven says "please").

Anyone else ?

Skin Up
11-05-2002, 02:27 AM
Cole had as about a much of chance of playing in the England v Sweden game as Brolin did.

zonin2000
11-05-2002, 03:42 PM
Originally posted by AnotherPete
Oh well, what the heck.

I'm 47 and haven't played football for 25 years now.

I hereby announce my retirement from international football (unless Sven says "please").

Anyone else ?


Exactly, loads of 'normal' people have followed Andy and Deano in announcing their international retirement. If it carries on at this rate, Phil Neville may have to get a game :eek:.

STOP RETIRING FROM INTERNATIONAL FOOTBALL PLEASE.

OOCO
11-05-2002, 06:31 PM
Remember Ruddock announcing his international retirement? He was useless, but quite funny! :)

the_next_matt_jansen
11-05-2002, 11:40 PM
I am hereby announcing my retirement from International football. I qualify for both Ireland and England but after being overlooked for both squads, I am regretfully announcing my retirement.
Ok, Ok Im only 17 but thats not the point.