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  #21  
Old 19-10-2001, 08:21 PM
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paf paf is offline
snootchie bootchies
 
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paf has been there, done that, given every tit-for-tatpaf has been there, done that, given every tit-for-tatpaf has been there, done that, given every tit-for-tatpaf has been there, done that, given every tit-for-tatpaf has been there, done that, given every tit-for-tatpaf has been there, done that, given every tit-for-tatpaf has been there, done that, given every tit-for-tatpaf has been there, done that, given every tit-for-tatpaf has been there, done that, given every tit-for-tatpaf has been there, done that, given every tit-for-tatpaf has been there, done that, given every tit-for-tat
Do you know the nationality of the person who runs this BBS ????

I happen to know he LOVES a good racist gag



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  #22  
Old 19-10-2001, 08:21 PM
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Wol Wol Wol Wol Wol Wol Wol Wol Wol Wol Wol
Why can't afghan's watch T.V.?
Because of the Telly Ban!!!

Boom Boom!
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  #23  
Old 19-10-2001, 08:26 PM
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I'm multiple nationality so really to me its not racist!!!!
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  #24  
Old 19-10-2001, 08:27 PM
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DE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
Don't know if this is now acceptable but here goes ...

> Only available on Sky Digitaliban......
>
> TALIBAN T.V.
>
>
> 6.00 G-Had TV. Morning prayers.
>
> 8.30 Talitubbies. Talitubbies say "Ah-ah". Dipsy and Tinky-Winky repair a
> Stinger missile launcher.
>
> 9.00 Shouts of Praise. More prayers.
>
> 11.00 Jihad's Army. The Kandahar-on-Sea battalion repulse another attack
> by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels.
>
> 12.00 Ready, Steady, Jihad! Celebrities make lethal devices out of
> everyday objects.
>
> 12.30 Panoramadan. The programme reports on Americas attempts to take
> over
> the world.
>
> 13.30 Xena: Modestly dressed Housewife. Xena stays at home and does some
> cooking.
>
> 14.00 Only Fools and Camels. Dhal-Boy offloads some Chinese rocket
> launchers to Hamas.
>
> 14.30 Green Peter. The total of Kalashnikovs bought by the milk bottle
> top
> appeal is revealed.
>
> 15.00 Madrasah Challenge. Two more Islamic colleges meet. Bambah Kaskhain
> asks the questions.'Starter for ten, no praying.'
>
> 15.30 I Love 629. A look back at the events of the year, including ! !
> the
> Prophet's entry into Mecca, and the destruction of pagan idols.
>
> 16.00 Question Time. Members of the public face questions from political
> and religious leaders.
>
> 17.00 Koranation Street. Deirdrie faces execution by stoning for
> adultery.
>
> 17.30 Middle-East Enders. The entire cast is jailed for unislamic
> behaviour.
>
> 18.00 Holiday. The team go on pilgrimage to Mecca. Again.
>
> 18.30 Top of the Prophets. Will the Koran be No.1 for the 63,728th week
> running?
>
> 19.00 Who wants to be a Mujahadin? Mahmoud Tarran asks the questions.
> Will
> contestants phone a mullah, go 'inshallah', or ask the Islamic council?
>
> 20.00 FILM: Shariah's Angels. The three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover
> to expose an evil scheme to educate women.
>
> 21.30 Big Brother. Who will be taken out of the house and executed this
> week?
>
> 22.30 Shahs in their Eyes. More hopefuls imitate famous destroyers of the
> infidel.
>
> 23.30 They think it's Allah over. Quiz culminating in the 'don't feel the
> Mullah' round.
>
> 0.00 When Imams attack. Amusing footage shot secretly in mosques. The
> filmers were also secretly shot.
>
> 12.30 a.m. The West Bank Show. Arts programme looking at anti-Israel
> graffiti art in the occupied territories.
>
> 1.30 Bhuffi the Infidel Slayer.
>
> 2.00 A book at bedtime. The Koran. Again.
>
>
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  #25  
Old 22-10-2001, 01:30 PM
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An english man irish man and a scottish man are all on death row. they are all given 3 choices of how to die 1. a single gun shot to the head 2. getting hung 3. being injected with aids. the english man decides to be shot in the head so BANG he is dead. the scottish man decides to get hung so they hang him and now he is dead. the irish man chose to be injected with aids. the warden said are you sure? he said just do it so they inject him with aids. the irish man said do it again so they inject him again the irish man keeps telling them to inject him again so after 20 injections the warden said "what the hell is wrong with you we have now injected you with aids 20 times?" the irish man replied "Ha but i am wearing a condom"


I am a comedy genius
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  #26  
Old 22-10-2001, 07:44 PM
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charltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
Quote:
Originally posted by MARKOFBLOCKB
An english man irish man and a scottish man are all on death row. they are all given 3 choices of how to die 1. a single gun shot to the head 2. getting hung 3. being injected with aids. the english man decides to be shot in the head so BANG he is dead. the scottish man decides to get hung so they hang him and now he is dead. the irish man chose to be injected with aids. the warden said are you sure? he said just do it so they inject him with aids. the irish man said do it again so they inject him again the irish man keeps telling them to inject him again so after 20 injections the warden said "what the hell is wrong with you we have now injected you with aids 20 times?" the irish man replied "Ha but i am wearing a condom"


I am a comedy genius
You are a comedy genius, that is possibly the funniest joke I have ever heard in my life.
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  #27  
Old 22-10-2001, 07:51 PM
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AddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
A bartender was washing the glasses, when an elderly Irishman came in.
With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool,
pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.
The Irishman then looked towards the end of the bar and said,
"Is that Jesus down there?"
The bartender nodded, so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish
whiskey, too.
The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a hunched back,
who moved very slowly. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass
of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if it was Jesus
sitting at the end of the bar.
The bartender nodded, so the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti,
too.
The third patron to enter the bar was a Scouser, who swaggered into the bar
and
yelled, "Barkeep', gis us a lager dere la! Hey, is dat God's Boy down dere?"
The barkeeper nodded, so the Scouser told him to give Jesus a lager, too.

As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and
said,
"For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come
back to
his leg, so he got up and danced a jig out of the door.
Jesus went up and touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness, you are
healed!"
The Italian then felt his back straighten, so he raised his hands above his
head
and did a flip out of the door.
Jesus then walked towards the Scouser, but the Scouser jumped back and
exclaimed,
.
.
.
.
"Don't you f*ckin touch me! I'm on Disability!"
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  #28  
Old 22-10-2001, 08:02 PM
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charltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
How much calcium is in a woman's breast?

Enough to make a bone 9 inches long!
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  #29  
Old 22-10-2001, 08:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by charltonhater


You are a comedy genius, that is possibly the funniest joke I have ever heard in my life.
Thank You


A couple enter a competition and win a holiday they are overjoyed but when the prize came through there was only one ticket. the man said "you deserve a holiday dear so you go" "thank you i will call you and see how you are when i am out there" replied the women. After a couple of days the women calls her husband and says "thanks for letting me have this holiday i really need it. Anyway how have you been?" the man says "I have been fine but your cats dead" clearly distraught the lady says "you have ruined my holiday you could have broken it to me gently" "what do you mean" replied the husband. "well today you could have said that my cat was stuck on the roof and you have called the fire brigade and tomorrow you could have said that the fireman dropped the cat and it is critically ill in the vets and then the next day you could have said that it died peacefully in its sleep" "i am sorry try to enjoy the rest of your holiday" replied the husband. A couple of days later the women calls her husband again "how are you" she says "oh i am fine but your mum is stuck on the roof.


My god somebody stop me
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  #30  
Old 22-10-2001, 08:30 PM
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charltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietcharltonhater came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
Perhaps you aren't a comedy genius after all. That one is crap.
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  #31  
Old 22-10-2001, 08:38 PM
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A lady is feeling a bit under the weather and her husband takes her to the hospital for some tests. A few days pass and the results are ready to collect at the hospital so the husband goes to pick them up. the doctor said i am really sorry mr smith but we have mixed up the results between your wife and another mrs smith, one has aids and the other has outsimers (i know it is not the correct spelling). the man says "what the hell am i going to do?" the doctor said "well i suggest you drive her 50 miles away from your house and leave her there and if she finds her way home don't shag her.
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  #32  
Old 22-10-2001, 08:41 PM
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Where did that one come from? the back of the cornflake box this moring???
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  #33  
Old 22-10-2001, 09:14 PM
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zonin2000 came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietzonin2000 came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietzonin2000 came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietzonin2000 came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietzonin2000 came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietzonin2000 came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietzonin2000 came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietzonin2000 came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietzonin2000 came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietzonin2000 came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietzonin2000 came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
Quote:
Originally posted by MARKOFBLOCKB
A couple enter a competition and win a holiday they are overjoyed but when the prize came through there was only one ticket. the man said "you deserve a holiday dear so you go" "thank you i will call you and see how you are when i am out there" replied the women. After a couple of days the women calls her husband and says "thanks for letting me have this holiday i really need it. Anyway how have you been?" the man says "I have been fine but your cats dead" clearly distraught the lady says "you have ruined my holiday you could have broken it to me gently" "what do you mean" replied the husband. "well today you could have said that my cat was stuck on the roof and you have called the fire brigade and tomorrow you could have said that the fireman dropped the cat and it is critically ill in the vets and then the next day you could have said that it died peacefully in its sleep" "i am sorry try to enjoy the rest of your holiday" replied the husband. A couple of days later the women calls her husband again "how are you" she says "oh i am fine but your mum is stuck on the roof.
FHM?
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It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched tv. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?
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  #34  
Old 22-10-2001, 09:35 PM
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A guy goes to see his doctor about a problem that he has. Once in the surgery, the doc asks the guy what is wrong with him. The guy replies "well doc, you see I've got this problem and it's really quite embarassing... ." "Go on," says the doctor. "Well," continues the guy "I've got an orange penis... ." "Never!" says the doctor "I'm sorry but I don't believe you." So the man pulls down his trousers and underpants,'whips it out' and sure enough there for all to see is a bright orange penis. "Well I never," says the doc. "This is a form of a rash thatI have seen in other parts of the body, but never 'there', and it's normally caused by great amounts of stress in a person's life- can you tell me about your work life?" The guy replies "well, I got sacked two months ago.. ." "Ah!" says the doctor, "so that must be the problem." "Well I don't think so," replies the guy, "I really hated my last job- the hours were terrible, the work was boring and my boss was a total prick. Now I've got a new job with better pay, better hours, it's interesting and my boss is cool." "Ok," says the doc, "So that isn't the problem. What about your home life?" To this the guy replies "Well, I'm currently going through a divorce from my wife." "Ah!" says the doctor, "so that must be the problem." "Well I don't think so," replies the guy, "She was a real bitch, my ex-wife. All she did all day was nag, nag, nag- I'm so glad to be rid of her." "Ok," says the doc, "So that isn't the problem. What about your social life?" To this the guy replies "err.. well I don't really have one - most nights I just stay home, watch porn and eat wotsits... ."
__________________
It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched tv. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?
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  #35  
Old 23-10-2001, 04:23 PM
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The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting'.
Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deaf person for this job - if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing. Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $50,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The mafia soon realises that their collection is late, and sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the mafia drags the guy to an interpreter.
The mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?" The deaf replies, "I don't know what you're talking about." The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
The hood pulls out a large gun and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. "NOW ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?" The deaf man replies, "The $50,000 is in Central Park, hidden in the third tree stump on the left from the West 78th Street gate ."
The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about, and doesn't think you have the guts to pull the trigger."
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  #36  
Old 23-10-2001, 04:38 PM
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A little boy is casually walking along the upstairs landing when he happens to see his sister`s door partially open. Glancing inside he notices his sister moaning in the throws of ecstasy whilst fingering herself, uttering the words,"I want a man!" over and over again. The little boy hastily goes downstairs to watch television, slightly confused by the incident.
A couple of hours later he is disturbed with groaning and grunting noises coming from upstairs. Quickly, he dashes upstairs and notices through a crack in his sister`s door that her boyfriend and her are banging away on the job. On seeing this the little boy dashes into the bathroom pulls down his kecks and starts wanking away, muttering to himself,"I want a bike, I want a bike!"
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  #37  
Old 23-10-2001, 04:39 PM
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Two horses were walking back to the paddock after a days training. One says to the other "I can’t understand why we are so slow, we come from good stock, we have the best of food, great trainers, and yet we come last in every race." There was a dog running along side them who overheard and said "I know what your problem is. I have seen you race and it looks to me as if you race off at the start really fast and use up all your energy and then you have nothing left.
What you should do is pace yourselves and when all the other horses are knackered, put in a spurt and you’re sure to win. What do you think of that?". The horses looked at one another and said "**** me, a talking dog!"
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  #38  
Old 23-10-2001, 04:40 PM
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MARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fine
A man was sitting in the bar when he noticed another patron a few stools away. The guy had a body like Charles Atlas, but his head was the size of a thimble. The first man said
"Please excuse me for staring, but I cant help but be curious as to why your body is so well developed, but your head is so small?"
The man said "buy me a drink and I'll tell you."
The drink was ordered and the story began. " I was in the navy and my ship was sunk by a torpedo. I was the only survivor and I managed to make it to a deserted island a few miles away. I had been there for several months and was sitting on the beach one day waiting for a bird or fish to come by so I would have something to eat, looking up I saw a beautiful mermaid sunning on a nearby rock. She swam over to me and informed me that she was a magical mermaid and could grant me three wishes. great I said. I'd like to be rescued. She slapped the water with her tail and a ship appeared, sailing straight for my island.
"Next I asked for a body like Charles Atlas. Another slap of the tail and here it is. Then, noticing how beautiful she was and all my other wishes fulfilled I asked if I could make love to her. She said no it just wouldn’t work her being half fish and all, so I said well, how about a little head then?
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Old 23-10-2001, 04:42 PM
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MARKOFBLOCKB MARKOFBLOCKB is offline
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MARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fineMARKOFBLOCKB is happy as a lark and everything is fine
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Old 23-10-2001, 04:55 PM
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AddiscombeEagle AddiscombeEagle is offline
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AddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietAddiscombeEagle came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
Little Head one is your best yet, Good Work Fella.
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