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A place to test things out Please use this forum to test stuff out - like VBcode or testing your avatar. This forum is not CCG and posts made here will not count in posters totals. If you abuse this forum you will be banned.

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  #1  
Old 23-08-2005, 09:45 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
I'm watching you
 
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Neil the Eagle

Is not online.
I am smashed, he cant chase me about the board slapping my bottom.

What should I do.
Get Chocky online?
Get MAidstoned online?
Run havoc, till the early hours?
All three?
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  #2  
Old 23-08-2005, 09:48 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
I'm watching you
 
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I will start with a song, a song full of joy and laughter.

That fvcking cats back
now how did she do that?
I kicked her tw@t till kingdom come
How did she do that?
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The party on the left, are now the party on the right.

Only people with their own hair, need to apply.


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  #3  
Old 23-08-2005, 09:49 PM
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Adlerhorst Adlerhorst is offline
Happy Felix Day!
 
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Worry not. Little Al is bound to be around shortly - you'll have someone to play with then.

I'm far too sober to help you.
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  #4  
Old 23-08-2005, 09:52 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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Ta mate. I feel a Kevin Wilson coming on
Another song?


Verse
School holidays were draggin' on
He was gettin' really bored
And his Mum had started poppin' pills
She was climbin' up the walls

So when he asked her could he go across
The buildin' site and play
She just popped another pill 'n' just said
"Don't get in the way"

So he chucked his little toolbox
In his billycart 'n' left
While his Mum knocked up a cuppa
Laced with valium and Bex

She needed all the help she could
To cope with holidays
But the pills and powders weren't enough
When he got home from play ... 'n' said ...

Chorus
I wanna be a ••••in' builder when I grow up ... eh, Mum
And build ••••in' houses everywhere, millions of the •••••
A bricky or a chippy, eh Mum, I don't give a ••••
I just wanna be a ••••in' builder when I grow up

Verse
It seemed the sawn-off shit
Had listened to the builders while they worked
And he'd remembered everything --
Word for ••••in' word!

And his shell-shocked Mum just sat there
As he went on to explain
How "some •••••• lost the ••••in' plans
Then found the ••••• again!"

And how "some dickhead missed the ••••in' nail
And hit his ••••in' thumb!"
And how "they shaved a mickey whisker
Off the door to close the ••••!"

And his voice was so excited
Best fun he'd ever had!
"And can I go back tomorrow, Mum?
Can't wait till I tell Dad, how ...

Chorus
I wanna be a ••••in' builder when I grow up
And build ••••in' houses everywhere, millions of the •••••
A bricky or a chippy, really, I don't give a ••••
I just wanna be a ••••in' builder when I grow up

Verse
His Mum was scoffin' scotch and serepax
And propped against the fridge
And when his Dad got home she dribbled
"Tell your father what you said"

So the young bloke give his Dad a serve
The air was turnin' blue
"•••• the weather, •••• the foreman
'N' •••• the unions, too!"

His old man turned ••••in' purple
'N' his whole body started to twitch
Until finally he exploded
"Go and get a switch!"

But the young bloke shook his head
'N' said, "No way, mate, I've knocked off
Anyway, you c'n go 'n' get rooted
Cause that's a ••••in' electrician's job!"

Chorus
Cause I wanna be a ••••in' builder when I grow up
And build ••••in' houses everywhere, millions of the •••••
A bricky or a chippy, not a sparky, go get ••••ed
I just wanna be a ••••in' builder when I grow up

Yeah, I wanna be a ••••in' builder when I grow up
And build ••••in' houses everywhere, millions of the •••••
A bricky or a chippy, you cranky •••••••, go get ••••ed
I just wanna be a ••••in' builder when I grow up

Yeah, I wanna be a ••••in' builder when I grow up
And build ••••in' houses everywhere, millions of the •••••
A bricky or a chippy, you're not me foreman, go get ••••ed
I just wanna be a ••••in' builder when I grow up
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  #5  
Old 23-08-2005, 09:53 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
I'm watching you
 
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Hey Santa claus you ••••!

Where's me ••••••• bike?

I've unwrapped all this other junk and there's nothing that I like.

I wrote you a ••••••• letter and I come to see you twice

Ya worn out geriatric fart, you forgot me ••••••• bike.

If I wanted a pair of bloody thongs, I'd have bloody asked.

And this cowboy suit and ping pong set you can shove right up your arse!

You've stuffed me bloody order up

It's enough to make you spew

And I'm not the only one who's snakey

Me sisters dirty too!

(female voice)
Hey santa clause you ••••!

Where's me ••••••• pram?

You promised me you'd bring me one, you remember who I am.

'Cause I'm the little girl who you made sit right on your hand

I'll give you ••••••• ho ho ho

You forgot me ••••••• pram

(male voice)
Next time I come to see ya, I'm gonna punch you in the guts

And I'll let your ••••••• reihndeer go and kick Rudolf in the nuts!

You just wait 'till next year, when you go to that store

And me and me little sister, come stomping through the door

And we'll say, yeah you wait for it

Hey mums and dads you smell his breath and check his bloodshot eyes

And don't listen to him boys and girls 'cause he tells ••••••• lies

He's just a piss tank and a pervert, and he's not even very bright

'Cause the old ••••••• •••••• Forgot me ••••••• bike.

You wait you old ••••, I'm gonna dob you in

Tell me old man on you, he's gonna punch your ••••••• lights out

"I saw mummy sucking santa clause"
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The party on the left, are now the party on the right.

Only people with their own hair, need to apply.


Hell is coming to breakfast.
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  #6  
Old 23-08-2005, 09:53 PM
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MicksSis MicksSis is offline
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MicksSis : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineMicksSis : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineMicksSis : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineMicksSis : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineMicksSis : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineMicksSis : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineMicksSis : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineMicksSis : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineMicksSis : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineMicksSis : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mineMicksSis : if all you've got to do today is find peace of mind, come round, you can take a piece of mine
biggus and Little Al

My pm box will explode

Night-night peeps
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  #7  
Old 23-08-2005, 09:55 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
I'm watching you
 
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HELLO OPERATOR. I'D LIKE TO MAKE A CALL
CAN I HAVE 477 3104?
I'M SORRY SIR, COULD YOU REPEAT THAT NUMBER ONCE AGAIN?
477 3104, DID YA GET IT THEN?

COULD YOU SPEAK A LITTLE SLOWER? 477'S ALL I GOT
3104, ARE YOU BLOODY DEAF OR WHAT?
LOOK, I GOT THE FIRST BIT, BUT I JUST CAN'T GET THE LAST
WELL STICK THAT ••••IN' PHONE UP YOUR ••••IN' ARSE

CHORUS
STICK THAT ••••IN' PHONE, UP YOUR ••••IN' ARSE
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ••••IN' HELP, NOT MAKE IT ••••IN' HARD
I'M JUST TRYIN' TO MAKE A CALL, BUT YOU'RE JUST BEING SMART
SO YOU CAN STICK THAT ••••IN' PHONE, UP YOUR ••••IN' ARSE

GOOD MORNING I'M FROM TELECOM, COME TO DISCONNECT YOUR PHONE
FOR A BREACH OF REGULATIONS JUST A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO
YOU UPSET OUR OPERATOR WITH A PRETTY NASTY CALL
WHAT ARE YOU ••••IN' ON ABOUT? IT WAS ALL HER ••••IN' FAULT!

WELL SHE CLAIMS THAT IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT, SHE REALLY WAS DISTRESSED
WHAT ABOUT YOUR CUSTOMERS, SHE UPSET ME FIRST!
WE'VE GOT HER WRITTEN STATEMENT, WHICH SHORTLY WILL BE READ
BUT IT MIGHT HELP IF YOU'D RECALL EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID

I SAID

CHORUS

WELL THAT'S NOT EXACTLY ON SIR, IT'S JUST NOT ON AT ALL
YOU MUST USE COMMON ETIQUETTE IF YOU WISH TO MAKE A CALL
AND 'PLEASE' AND 'THANK YOU' ALSO HELP, YOU CAN'T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT
'PLEASE' AND ••••IN' 'THANK YOU' WELL YOU ••••IN' TELL HER THAT!

AND SHE KNOWS WITHOUT A TELEPHONE I'M REALLY IN THE SHIT
WELL PERHAPS IF YOU'D APOLOGISE THAT JUST MIGHT HELP A BIT
APOLOGISE? APOLOGISE? APOLOGISE TO WHO?
JUST GO IN AND ASK FOR OPERATOR 42

GOOD MORNING, ARE YOU WAITING? IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN DO?
YES, I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO OPERATOR 42
I'M SORRY SIR, I MISSED THAT, COULD YOU REPEAT WHAT YOU JUST SAID?
AH SHIT! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! HERE WE ••••IN' GO AGAIN!

OPERATOR 42, LOOK I'LL JUST WRITE IT DOWN
OH OPERATOR 42, I'LL SEE IF SHE'S AROUND
JEEZ, THEY'RE BLOODY USELESS, I'M SURE THAT THEY'RE ALL DEAF
NO WONDER THAT I DID ME QUINCE, NO WONDER THAT I SAID

CHORUS

NOW THEY'LL MAKE ME SIT AROUND AND WAIT ALL BLOODY DAY
JUST SO THEY CAN MAKE ME SWEAT AND HAVE THE FINAL SAY
THAT'S LIKE THE PUBLIC SERVICEM THEY MAKE YOU SCRAPE AND BBOW
ARRGGHH SHIT! SHE'S ••••IN' UGLY, IF THAT'S HER COMING NOW!

I'M OPERATOR 42, I'M BUSY, MAKE IT FAST
DID A BLOKE TELL YOU TO STICKTHAT ••••IN' PHONE RIGHT UP YOUR ARSE?
YES HE DID, THE FILTHY ANIMAL, I REMEMBER NOW
WELL YOU'D BETTER ••••IN' BRACE YOURSELF 'CAUSE THEY'RE BRINGING IT AROUND!!
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The party on the left, are now the party on the right.

Only people with their own hair, need to apply.


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  #8  
Old 23-08-2005, 09:55 PM
sydney eagle's Avatar
sydney eagle sydney eagle is online now
Puncheon above our weight
 
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LOL Mick...I saw kevin bloody wilson 2 nights in a row a few years back,I was crying with laughter
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  #9  
Old 23-08-2005, 09:57 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
I'm watching you
 
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There's an uptown party on tonight that we're invited to
All the jet-set people there with the finest wine and food
Sip some champagne, snort some coke and maybe swim some in the nude
But they can stick that trendy shit 'cause that's not me and you
A night down at the local pub is nearer what we like
Play the pinball, shoot some pool if the atmosphere is right
But sometimes it's too crowded there or some dickhead wants to fight
So stack the fridge and stoke the bong, we're stayin' home tonight


Chorus
Stack the fridge and stoke the bong we're stayin' home tonight
Well I'm a lover, not a fighter, and I'd rather •••• than fight
And we'll get smashed on piss 'n' hash and then we'll screw all night
So stack the fridge and stoke the bong we're staying home tonight


Verse 2
We don't need no people round for us to have some fun
To me a good night out with you means stayin' home alone
And I'd rather share my highs with you than share with anyone
We'll drink some booze and smoke a joint and turn each other on
Then we'll just lay down on that big old rug, then we'll dim the lights
Stick a dirty movie on and just wait for the highs
And then we'll hump and screw and •••• until our brains are fried
So stack the fridge and stoke the bong we're stayin' home tonight


Chorus
Stack the fridge and stoke the bong we're stayin' home tonight
Well I'm a lover, not a fighter, and I'd rather •••• than fight
And we'll get smashed on piss 'n' hash and then we'll screw all night
So stack the fridge and stoke the bong we're staying home tonight
So stack the fridge and stoke the bong we're staying home tonight
We'll just stack the fridge and stoke the bong we're staying home tonight
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Drinking wine, eating cheese and taking in the rays man.

The party on the left, are now the party on the right.

Only people with their own hair, need to apply.


Hell is coming to breakfast.
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  #10  
Old 23-08-2005, 09:58 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
I'm watching you
 
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Right. Derek and Clive time.
Feel free to join in That way it wont just be me with a size 12 up me bum.
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The party on the left, are now the party on the right.

Only people with their own hair, need to apply.


Hell is coming to breakfast.
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  #11  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:01 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
I'm watching you
 
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Derek & Clive -
"The Worst Job I Ever Had"

CLIVE:
I'll tell you .....
DEREK:
(enormous belch) Testing, testing, .....
CLIVE:
No, no, don't test any longer.
DEREK:
No.
CLIVE:
Er, I'll tell you the worst job I ever had.
DEREK:
What was that?
CLIVE:
The worst job I ever had was with Jayne Mansfield. You know, she was a fantastic bird, you know .....
DEREK:
Yeah, yeah.
CLIVE:
..... big tits, huge bum, and everything like that, but I had the terrible job of retrieving lobsters from her bum.
DEREK:
Really? Bloody hell, that must have been a task.
CLIVE:
Well, it was quite a task 'cause she had a big bum .....
DEREK:
Well, I remember.
CLIVE:
..... and they were big lobsters.
DEREK:
I remember she had a huge bum.
CLIVE:
Well, she had one and, er, you know, presumably in the afterlife .....
DEREK:
(belches) Oh dear.
CLIVE:
Shut up ..... she still has one. But I had to, used to go round, you know, of an evening .....
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
..... when Jayne was sleeping or sort of comatose, like, .....
DEREK:
Yeah, yeah.
CLIVE:
..... you know, you know.
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
You know, just lying there.
DEREK:
Comatose.
CLIVE:
And the ne-
DEREK:
'Coma-toes to her head' huh-huh-huh.
CLIVE:
'Coma-toes to her head' - shut up.
DEREK:
(coughs)
CLIVE:
And, er, I had to retrieve these lobsters from her arsehole.
DEREK:
Yeah, well, I remember she had a lot of trouble with-, with lobsters up her arsehole.
CLIVE:
Well, you see, the lobsters .....
DEREK:
Basically, she suffered from, er, what was known in-, in the medical trade as 'lobsters-up-the-arsehole'.
CLIVE:
Well, this is what it said scientifically, you know, .....
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
..... 'lobsters-up-the-bum', you know .....
DEREK:
Mmm.
CLIVE:
..... this was the scientific, er, term for it but, you know, in general terms it was known as 'Lobsterisimus -um- Bummakisimus'.
DEREK:
Yeah, yeah.
CLIVE:
And it was my job every evening to go round to Jayne .....
DEREK:
Mmm.
CLIVE:
..... who was a sweet girl.
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
Sweet, charming, shy, mysterious girl .....
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
..... and get these ••••••• lobsters out of her arsehole.
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
Which is so tricky because she was a very sensitive woman, you know.
DEREK:
Yeah, yeah.
CLIVE:
I used to go round there every evening and these lobsters, you know, she used to go out bathing in Malibu .....
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
..... which is where she used to go out bathing.
DEREK:
Yeah, oh, Malibu, yeah.
CLIVE:
Malibu, yes. Malibu-de-bum-bum. And, erm, up went the lobsters - boing! - straight up her arsehole.
DEREK:
Well, I think, you know, I think she brought it on herself, really, didn't she?
CLIVE:
Not so much brought them on herself as so much encouraged them, you know, .....
DEREK:
Yeah, yeah.
CLIVE:
..... by the flagrant display which she got up to.
DEREK:
Well, I think she was a dirty cow.
CLIVE:
Well .....
DEREK:
And being .....
CLIVE:
No, n-, no, no, be fair, be fair. You can call her a dirty cow but, let's face it, a lot of lobsters fancied her bum.
DEREK:
Yeah, well, I think, I-, let's face it, I think it was a fifty-fifty arrangement. I think that-, I-, I don't .....
CLIVE:
Yeah. The lob-, the lobsters didn't say, "we have the upper hand", .....
DEREK:
No.
CLIVE:
..... Jayne didn't say, "we have the upper hand" .....
DEREK:
There was no-, there was no feeling of, er, domination.
CLIVE:
No. It was a .....
DEREK:
A-, fif-
CLIVE:
..... fifty-fifty thing.
DEREK:
I think the lobsters got quite a nip out of it .....
CLIVE:
Yeah.
DEREK:
Uh-huh-huh. And, er, I think Jayne got a lot out of it.
CLIVE:
Yeah, but it was my job, my job to retrieve the lobsters from her bum after the event.
DEREK:
What event?
CLIVE:
Post hoc, te proct.
DEREK:
P-post what?
CLIVE:
Post hoc, te proct.
DEREK:
Oh, yeah, yeah.
CLIVE:
That's what it is in Latin, you know, .....
DEREK:
What-
CLIVE:
..... getting lobsters out of people's bums, after they've, er, .....
DEREK:
Oh, post hoc, te proct.
CLIVE:
Yes, yeah.
DEREK:
Well, when ..... (clears throat)
CLIVE:
But she was a sweet girl and I wouldn't knock her.
DEREK:
Well, I gather you wouldn't, no.
CLIVE:
No, I gather I wouldn't. But I'll tell you one thing Tony Newley said to me .....
DEREK:
What was that?
CLIVE:
"Who are you?"
DEREK:
Yeah? Just like that.
CLIVE:
Just like that. And I thought that made Tony Newley a-, a wonderful human being
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The party on the left, are now the party on the right.

Only people with their own hair, need to apply.


Hell is coming to breakfast.
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  #12  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:01 PM
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Eagle Of Cray Eagle Of Cray is offline
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Eagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that far
[QUOTE]Originally posted by biggus mickus
[B]There's an uptown party on tonight that we're invited to
All the jet-set people there with the finest wine and food

Thats great Mick, will I have time to change?!

See you later
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  #13  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:03 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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Derek & Clive -
"This Bloke Came Up To Me"


DEREK:
I'll tell you, the other day some bloke came up to me and .....
CLIVE:
What, Tony Newley?
DEREK:
No, no, I don't know who it was, and he said, "You ••••".
CLIVE:
Yeah.
DEREK:
I said, "What?" He said, "You ••••".
CLIVE:
Yeah. And you replied, "You ••••••• ••••".
DEREK:
I said-, I-, no, well, not straight away, I said, "You ••••".
CLIVE:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, .....
DEREK:
And then he said .....
CLIVE:
..... what'd he come back with?
DEREK:
He come back. He says-, he said, "You ••••••• ••••". I said, "You calling me ..... "
CLIVE:
You're joking! He said, "You ••••••• ••••"?
DEREK:
He-, yeah, he said, "You call me a ••••, you ••••••• c-?" I said, "You f-", I said, "You ••••••• ••••".
CLIVE:
I should hope so, "you ••••••• ••••".
DEREK:
I s-, I said, "You ••••••• ••••", I said, "You ••••••• come here and call me a ••••••• ••••".
CLIVE:
I should say so.
DEREK:
I said, "You f-", I said, "You ••••". I said, "You ••••••• ••••". I said, "Who you ••••••• calling '••••', ••••?"
CLIVE:
Yeah, what did he say, ••••?
DEREK:
He said, "You ••••••• ••••!"
CLIVE:
Well, you ••••••• ••••, who are you to say to him that he was a ••••••• ••••?
DEREK:
Well, what d'you fu-, what d'you ••••••• think, mate, I ••••••• de-, defending my ••••••• self, weren't I?
CLIVE:
Well, no, he come up to you, call you "••••", .....
DEREK:
Yeah!
CLIVE:
..... that's fair enough, what he said, "you ••••••• ••••", and you said back to him, "you ••••••• ••••••• ••••".
DEREK:
I sa-, well, .....
CLIVE:
Well, what do you expect him to say back apart from, "You ••••••• stupid ••••••• ••••!"
DEREK:
Well, I don't-, I don't expect nothing, do I?
CLIVE:
No.
DEREK:
But the f-, the •••• come back with, "you ••••••• ••••", ••••.
CLIVE:
Well, Christ, .....
DEREK:
I said, "You ••••?" I said, "You calling me a ••••••• •••• .....
CLIVE:
Yeah.
DEREK:
..... You •••••••-", I said, "You ••••••• ••••".
CLIVE:
Jesus Christ, yeah.
DEREK:
I said, "You-", I said, "You, you ••••••• ••••".
CLIVE:
Yeah, what-
DEREK:
I said, like that.
CLIVE:
You said it like that, did you, .....
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
..... to him, .....
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
..... or was he gone by then?
DEREK:
No, he ••••••• hit me. Fu-
CLIVE:
Hit you, did he?
DEREK:
Yeah, ••••••• ••••.
CLIVE:
Killed you dead, did he?
DEREK:
Nah, he-, he ••••••• hit me. I said, I said, .....
CLIVE:
Yeah, well, you can't blame him, can you?
DEREK:
I said, "You, you rotter".
CLIVE:
Yeah.
DEREK:
And he-, he went off.
CLIVE:
Did he?
DEREK:
And he said, "You ••••" again.
CLIVE:
Well, 't's the only way to deal with him, 'init?
DEREK:
Yeah, well, I-, I showed him, didn't I?
CLIVE:
Yeah, well, you had to, didn't you? You had to stand up for what you stood for, didn't you? I mean, the only time I remember a similar occasion was, I was in, errm, I was at Spurs, Tottenham Hotspurs.
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
I was watching a game against Arsenal, and this bloke come up to me and said, "Hello".
DEREK:
Oh no .....
CLIVE:
And I thought, "Christ!"
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
You know, this bloke comes up to me, says "hello", .....
DEREK:
Provocative ••••••.
CLIVE:
..... ••••••• provocative.
DEREK:
Mmm.
CLIVE:
I said, "What d'you mean, 'hello'?" And, do you know what he came back with?
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
He said, erm, "I just meant, 'hello'" I said, "Hur hur, I can sussed you out .....
DEREK:
Yeah, right.
CLIVE:
..... right, for a starter, .....
DEREK:
Yeah, right.
CLIVE:
..... 'ere, get in this in the bollocks for a start!" So I kicked him right in the balls, he fell to the floor, and as he fell to the floor he said, "Euuughh!" I said, "Don't you 'Euuughh' me, mate!"
DEREK:
I-, yeah, like he comes in with 'hello' and then goes out with 'euuughh'.
CLIVE:
Yeah, I said, "Don't you 'Euuughh' me, mate!" and I kicked his ••••••• teeth in!
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
Then he went, "Aaaghh!", and I said, "••••••• hell! .....
DEREK:
I said, "This is ••••••• too much", eh?
CLIVE:
..... Don't you ••••••• 'Aaaghh' me!"
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
And I really kicked his ear in, you know.
DEREK:
Yeah, yeah.
CLIVE:
Bunged him right in the ear with the left boot.
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
And, d'you know he still had the audacity to come out with, "Hugh-eugh-ugh-eugh-ugh I'm dying!" Well, what could I say to that? I just walked away. I left the situation. I wasn't going to be, you know, put upon in that way.
DEREK:
You weren't going to be dictacted to, were you?
CLIVE:
Well, no, why should I be dictated to?
DEREK:
No, exactly, no.
CLIVE:
By some •••• who says 'euuughh!'
DEREK:
Yeah, preceding it with 'hello'!
CLIVE:
Yeah. 'Hello' was the worst thing, that's what got me going.
DEREK:
••••••• ••••, yeah, what a ••••.
CLIVE:
What a ••••, eh?
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  #14  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:04 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by EAGLE OF CRAY
[B]
Quote:
Originally posted by biggus mickus
There's an uptown party on tonight that we're invited to
All the jet-set people there with the finest wine and food

Thats great Mick, will I have time to change?!

See you later

Hasta manana hombre.
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  #15  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:07 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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Ladies and gentlemen, all of us know, or at least realise, how terrible it must be to be blind: deprived of sight, unable to read. This is perhaps the greatest loss to the blind person. I am blind but I am able to read thanks to a wonderful new system known as 'Broil'.

I'm sorry, I'll just feel that again .....
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  #16  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:07 PM
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Oi ! Elton. go to bed !
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Old 23-08-2005, 10:08 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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Sod off, half frog.

#As I was walking down the street one day
I saw a house on fire
There was man, shouting and screaming at an upper-storey window
To the crowd that was gathered there below
For he was sore afraid

#Jump! You ••••••, jump!
Jump into this here blanket what we are holding
And you will be all right
He jumped, hit the deck, broke his ••••••• neck -
There was no blanket

#Laugh?! We nearly shat!
We had not laughed so much since Grandma died
Or Auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle
We are miserable sinners
Fi-i-ilthy ••••ers

#Ahhhrrrr-soles
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  #18  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:08 PM
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DE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy dietDE - Glad All Over came here looking for the peace and quiet; the healthy air and the healthy diet
i'm telling neil the eagle and yr going to be in big trouble - yr rude !

oh deal little flo...
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Old 23-08-2005, 10:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by biggus mickus
Sod off, half frog.

Is that Racist ?
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  #20  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:12 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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I have been a good boy to long. Neil is getting bored, and has had no reason to pulp my head. I owe him this. Without striking me down, like a poor cur, he gets frustrated.

Derek & Clive -
"Cancer"
[ from the album "Come Again" (1977) ]

DEREK:
You going to go out laughing, are you?
CLIVE:
No, I'm going out, going out fvcking .....
DEREK:
Fvcking shitting yourself with fear!
CLIVE:
Shitting myself with ••••••• fear and fvcking cancer, which God so kindly provided.
DEREK:
(giggles)
CLIVE:
Without that we wouldn't have a way to die, would we? Fvcking good of him! Not to torment us with being eternally young and being able to fvck everyone. No! He gave us this great gift of fvcking cancer, that's very kind. I wouldn't have thought of that if I'd been creating the universe, would you? Bung in cancer? No, I'd have left that out.
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