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A place to test things out Please use this forum to test stuff out - like VBcode or testing your avatar. This forum is not CCG and posts made here will not count in posters totals. If you abuse this forum you will be banned.

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  #21  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:12 PM
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Eagle Of Cray Eagle Of Cray is offline
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Eagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that farEagle Of Cray stole the moon, stole a car. Could've made it to heaven but never got that far
Quote:
Originally posted by biggus mickus
Ladies and gentlemen, all of us know, or at least realise, how terrible it must be to be blind: deprived of sight, unable to read. This is perhaps the greatest loss to the blind person. I am blind but I am able to read thanks to a wonderful new system known as 'Broil'.

I'm sorry, I'll just feel that again .....
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  #22  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:13 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Les Butler
Is that Racist ?

I hope so. At least your not a spic, cant stand them. As for those white arseholes, keep em.
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Last edited by biggus mickus; 23-08-2005 at 10:17 PM.
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  #23  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:14 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by DE - Glad All Over
i'm telling neil the eagle and yr going to be in big trouble - yr rude !

oh deal little flo...

Tee hee. Bleedin grass you are.
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  #24  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:15 PM
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Les Butler Les Butler is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by biggus mickus
I hope so. At least your not a stic, cant stand them. As for those white arseholes, keep em.
Balance is a good thing MicK


Did someone give him the key and let him out of CCG (QP Bollox)?
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  #25  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:17 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by biggus mickus
Sod off, half frog.

#As I was walking down the street one day
I saw a house on fire
There was man, shouting and screaming at an upper-storey window
To the crowd that was gathered there below
For he was sore afraid

#Jump! You ••••••, jump!
Jump into this here blanket what we are holding
And you will be all right
He jumped, hit the deck, broke his ••••••• neck -
There was no blanket

#Laugh?! We nearly shat!
We had not laughed so much since Grandma died
Or Auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle
We are miserable sinners
Fi-i-ilthy ••••ers

#Ahhhrrrr-soles
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  #26  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:19 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by biggus mickus
I hope so. At least your not a spic, cant stand them. As for those white arseholes, keep em.

Is that better for you, oh half frogs legs eater?


Bollox! I was going to insult Riccardo. Waste of time, he knows me to well.
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  #27  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:21 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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How do I put an mp3 on here? Found a good one, Neil will love it.
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  #28  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:22 PM
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Adlerhorst Adlerhorst is offline
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I have no idea - however thanks for brightening up my last half hour in the office. I'm off home, night all.
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  #29  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:25 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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Kev's Lament (It Was Over)


Verse 1
I remember back on our very first date
In the back seat of me car
I wanted you to go all the way
But you wouldn't go that far


I wanted you to hold me dick
You wanted to hold me hand
And when I accidentally brushed your tit
I just blew it and come in me pants


Chorus
And it was over ...
Before it began


Verse 2
I'll never forget the strain and the sweat
As I fumbled with your gear
A hundred degrees with the windows wound up
So your Mum and Dad couldn't hear


Tryin' me best to unzip your dress
And unhook your bra with one hand
And just when I thought I was doin' all right
I come in me pants again


Chorus
And it was over ...
Before it began


Verse 3
Blouses and buttons and bras and buckles




And 'Stop it, I'm gettin' cold'
First time I've had a tit in me mouth
Since I was nine months old


I had lovers' balls and you had no idea
Of the pitch of me passion and pain
Tryin' to stay cool with me knackers on fire
I come in me pants again ... oh, shit ... and again


Verse 4
You wouldn't give and I wouldn't go
And we couldn't seem to agree
You got the giggles and I got the shits
Then you wouldn't talk to me


And when we made up and we started again
Your Dad banged on the roof and he yelled:
'What are you two kids up to in there?'
And I shit in me pants as well


Chorus
And it was over ...
Before it began


Verse 5
You hear people say that they'd love to go back
And do things that they did in the past
But if you reckon they were the real good old days
You can go stick 'em right up your arse!


'Cause when I look back how I came and I went
With a tear in me eye I recall
How me, I had a •••• of a night,
But me undies had a ball


Chorus
And it was over ...
Before it began
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  #30  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:27 PM
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smileysmith smileysmith is offline
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Funniest thread I've seen in a while. Wish I was pissed enough to join in ... keep it up Biggus!!!
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  #31  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:27 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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Granddads got a stiffy


Posted by: eddiejayst
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Granddads got a Stiffy

The old ••••••• lay sprawled on the nursin’ home floor
he'd been wankin an’ fell out of his chair,
An’ as he fell on his guts his colostomy bust
splatterin’ muck an guck an shit everywhere,
It was all up the wall on the matron an all,
it was caked on her apron an’ hair,
And as we ducked for cover that filthy old bugger just sat there with his cock in his hand.

Ah, it couldn't ave been a worse day cos it was his birthday
with the rellies rallied all round his bed,
Absolutely amazed that he'd actually made another birthday cos he should have been dead,
With all that ••••in’ an fightin’ that he'd done in his life, he should have been hung years ago,
By any number of blokes whose missus he's poked with that monster he was strokin’ there now

Ah, Granddads got a stiffy, Granddads got a bone,
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we'd promised her we'd phone




He's OD'd on Viagra, call Grandmother up on the phone,
Granddads got a stiffy, Granddads got a bone.


But he just wouldn't stop wankin’ so we chucked on a blanket,
so the women and kids couldn't see,
His battered banana hangin’ out his pyjamas and the cum stain an’ shit on his sheets,
But that filthy old ••••••• sat cackling laughin’, just waving his slug in the air,
And by the look in his eye matron knew it was time,
'EVERYBODY GET THE •••• OUT OF HERE!!'


Cos, Granddads got a stiffy, Granddads got a bone,
Somebody better get nana in quick, we'd promised her we'd phone
Cos Granddads going ballistic, call Grandmother up on the phone,
Granddads got a stiffy, granddads got a bone.

Ah, granddads got a stiffy, Granddads got a bone,
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we'd promised her we'd phone
He’s pullin’ himself to pieces, call Grandmother up on the phone,
Granddads got a stiffy, Granddads got a bone,
Ah Granddads got a stiffy, Granddads got a bone.
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  #32  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:29 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by smileysmith
Funniest thread I've seen in a while. Wish I was pissed enough to join in ... keep it up Biggus!!!

Dont you fvcking dare laugh. This is a serious thread.
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  #33  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:30 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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I am Elton John.
As such, I need one of you to stick your penis in my rectum. If its ok for him, with his bank account, its ok with my arse.
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  #34  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:32 PM
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Les Butler Les Butler is offline
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....
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  #35  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:32 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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Darlin im so horny



The kids are at your mothers place, the house is finally ours, theres bugger all on telly and were just sitting around, and you look alright in the night tonight and im down to socks and skids your a walk up start for a •••• tonight so go and put ur teeth in coz darlin im so horny i could die id •••• a chicken on a chain tonight to see the feathers fly im drowing down im botteling flu if i dont get a •••• tonight coz darlin im so horny i could die so you slip out of your canvas nighty ill kick off me skids you just cant beat a good old fashioned •••• if you get a good nights sleep so grab the jar of vaseline and drag your ass across the room but better make thy baby make prepare to make thy do coz darlin im so horny i could die id •••• a chicken on a chain tonight im drowining uo bottle up flu coz darlin im so horny i could die so clear the table mable let me grab hold of them tits 1,2,3,4, glaze now lets get down to buisness i got a heart on here that a cat couldnt scratch so u better get a bucket of ice getta a bit of back pressure so

darlin have im tired darlin im so horny i could die id •••• a chicken on a chain tonight to see the feathers fly im drowing down im botteling flu if i dont get a •••• tonight coz darlin im so horny i could die x 2

coz darlin im so horny i could die x 3
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  #36  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:34 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Les Butler
....

Love it. Thats what it was! Not like it is now. Ta Les.





If you cant laugh at yourselves, fvck off.
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  #37  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:35 PM
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Les Butler Les Butler is offline
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You know this thread will be gone by tomorrow morning LOL
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  #38  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:37 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
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As a large person, I have never been a big farter. Its the truth, I promise. Then I found the lyrics to this song years ago, and in a weird way fely jealous. There again, bollox.


I first met him in the classroom
back in 1963
we seemed to hit it off pretty good
we were mates mick and me
he wasn't such a big kid
even back then at the start
and he wasn't all that clever either
but Jesus he could fart

I first found that out in class one day
when things were going pretty slow
and just to keep us all amused
Mick let this ••••••• ripper go
well, you should have been there
look, i'd describe it if i could
but i just turned around and i said,
"Hey Mick your ••••••• good!"

And at the eng of school Grand Final
on the rugby field that time
we were getting beaten
they were 12 and we were 9
and play was 3 yards from our goal-line
when the referee called a scrum
and mick said, "Don't worry fellas,
we've as good as got it won."

So we just locked ourselves down in the scrum,
and we held eachothers nose
and mick our little hooker
he let this ••••••• ripper go!
well, it stung their nose
and it burnt their eyes
and it even scorched the grass
and i twigged right then and there,
he had a double jointed arse!

chorous

Mick, me mate the master farter
put the art back into farting
with his custom tailored farts
Mick, me mate the master farter
broke new ground in breaking wind
with his double jointed arse

verse 2

And it was just a couple of years later
we both went to seee Kamaahl
it was a really poshy sort of show
in this great big bloody hall
all the blokes were dressed like penguins,
well you should have seen the sorts
and Kamaahl himself wore a sheilas dress,
like a bloody black boy george

we were all locked in there like sardines,
for the show to get underway
but the tuber player didn't log
he'd booked off crook that day
and Kamaahl said, "Without a tuber player i cannot commence the show."
so old mick jumps up says,
"Sambo mate, I'll have a ••••••• go!"





Well, from then on in I honestly thought,
that the whole show would be ruined
but he just winked at me and picked that tuber up
just like he knew what he was doing
then the maestro tapped his little stick,
to tell the band to start
and mick just shut his eyes and cocked
his leg,
and then began to fart!

well you could have heard a pin drop
that night there in the hall
and it's hard to say who sounded best
Mick farting or Kamaahl
then the audience just went apeshit
they cheered and clapped and stood
and Kamaahl smiled as if to say,
"Hey Mick, your ••••••• good

chorous

Mick me mate the master farter
put the art back into farting
with his custom tailored farts
Mick me mate the master farter
with his True-pitch perfect, calibrated
double jointed arse

verse 3

Well, good news travels fast it seems
and it wasn't very long
before Mick got this midnight phonecall
from Ben Lexan and Alan Bond
they said, "Mick we've got this specialist job,
and we're prepared to pay ya',
Mick old son would you consider farting for Australia?"

We'll just prop you on our brand new yatch,
when theres no sea-breeze blowing
and get Mick the master farter to start
her and keep the ••••••• going
so Mick went into training
on sausage rolls and pies
and Vegemite and Fosters beer
and a schollarship from Heinz

The world had never seen before
a yatch so finely groomed
or a crew so fit and young and strong
or an arse so finely tuned
the Yanks weren't even in the race
not even in the same class
what with Ben Lexan and his secret keel
and Micks fuel injeted arse

Well he come back a bloody hero didn't he,
the old Australian boy
and government comissioned this bloke
to do a big statue of his Koy
and I can still see Mick standing there
when they confirmed his Knighthood
and Bob Hawke pinning it on saying,
"Hey mick..... your ••••••• good!"

chorous

Mick me mate the master farter
put the class back into farting
with his designer-lable farts
Mick me mate the master farted
with his True-pitch perfect calibrated,
turbo thrusted, fuel injected, W.I.N.G.S.proteced, double jointed arse.
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  #39  
Old 23-08-2005, 10:37 PM
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Les Butler Les Butler is offline
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I'm heading out, talk on sat Mick...
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Old 23-08-2005, 10:38 PM
biggus mickus biggus mickus is offline
I'm watching you
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Les Butler
You know this thread will be gone by tomorrow morning LOL

Why?
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