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  #81  
Old 01-01-2019, 10:52 PM
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Originally Posted by bubbs11 View Post
Glad itís all over for you anyway Hedgehog. Thereís always that horrible knot in the stomach and stress between a loved ones death and funeral. Yes, the whole Ďbusinessí of trying to get as much money as you can out of people in their moment of dispair is a very distasteful one I find. The prices of funerals are getting higher and higher.

Know what you mean about open casket. My dad didnít have one but we could visit him before the funeral at the funeral home. My mum did but I refused. Having seen others in this situation I really didnít want to see my dad like that and have that memory of him seared in my brain for evermore. Of course, was advised that i might regret it but itís a very personal decision and I have to say I havenít regretted it one bit. A very close friend said sheíd seen her dead mum in this situation and dearly wished she hadnít as the memory left her with nightmares for a long time.

Itís an odd thing when you see someone like that. Iím not religious but it does appear like the soul/spirit/light of the person has gone. I know some say they look like theyíre just sleeping but they donít to me. They just look like a vessel - a wax work model of the person. They are not there anymore.

What a pleasant post to start the New Year off with.
Thanks Bubbs. What a great post. I agree wholeheartedly with all you say there.

The funeral home did offer me the chance to view my Mum and my Dad at the time, and I declined, and have never had any regrets.

I find the whole, "looks like they are sleeping" a misnomer. More like a badly made up store front manikin to me.

Although the coordinator did make a good point that I had never heard of before... someone had to identify the body to ensure they had the right person! I ending up signing off on that for the family.
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  #82  
Old 01-01-2019, 11:12 PM
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Iím sorry for your loss Hedgehog. Viewing dead relatives is a rather strange experience and Iíd never done it until my Dad died, two years ago. I went twice, to support my Mum as she kept finding things that she wanted to put in the casket with him (some old love letters sheíd kept before they were married and a picture of Mourinho looking miserable in the newspaper as she said it wouldíve made him laugh!). I totally agree with Bubbs, itís just like an empty vessel; like the person has just gone completely and the body was simply a place for the soul to lodge for a number of years before moving on and finding another home. Iím glad I went, for my Mum and we were lucky enough to be with Dad as he died; that was the point we said goodbye not as he lay in the funeral home. For those not with loved ones as they pass, I can understand the need to see them before they are buried or cremated.
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  #83  
Old 01-01-2019, 11:22 PM
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My condolences Hedgehog.

I think it’s a personal decision really, each to their own. With both my parents I arrived soon after each one passed away, so I had some time with them then and said what I wanted to say.

If I’d missed that opportunity, maybe I would have welcomed the opportunity to ‘visit’ them at the chapel of rest? Thing is, that’s a more personal one-to-one opportunity, that you don’t get during the actual funeral.

Like you, I’m not keen on the open casket tradition and certainly won’t be wanting that for any of my relatives or myself. Seems ghoulish to me.
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  #84  
Old 01-01-2019, 11:45 PM
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I read the Bill Bryson book the Short History of Nearly Everything once and one of the chapters talked about atoms. I'm not a religious person but like most people I want to believe in something, so when he explained that all of the atoms that your body is made up of live on after you die it put things into a new perspective for me.

Life itself is such an amazing thing and Scientists still can't really explain it, but we all just get wrapped up into our own worlds and struggle to appreciate it most of the time. The key is really to try and look at the positives of life instead of just seeing all the negatives, the first tip being don't read GPD after Palace have lost.
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  #85  
Old 02-01-2019, 08:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Billy Rhino View Post
I read the Bill Bryson book the Short History of Nearly Everything once and one of the chapters talked about atoms. I'm not a religious person but like most people I want to believe in something, so when he explained that all of the atoms that your body is made up of live on after you die it put things into a new perspective for me.

Life itself is such an amazing thing and Scientists still can't really explain it, but we all just get wrapped up into our own worlds and struggle to appreciate it most of the time. The key is really to try and look at the positives of life instead of just seeing all the negatives, the first tip being don't read GPD after Palace have lost.
The crucial difference between life and non-life (or non-living things) is that life uses energy for physical and conscious development.
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  #86  
Old 02-01-2019, 06:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Yoda View Post
My condolences Hedgehog.

I think itís a personal decision really, each to their own. With both my parents I arrived soon after each one passed away, so I had some time with them then and said what I wanted to say.

If Iíd missed that opportunity, maybe I would have welcomed the opportunity to Ďvisití them at the chapel of rest? Thing is, thatís a more personal one-to-one opportunity, that you donít get during the actual funeral.

Like you, Iím not keen on the open casket tradition and certainly wonít be wanting that for any of my relatives or myself. Seems ghoulish to me.
My mums casket was closed. Don't know if I could've dealt with an open one at age 15, but it was a shock just to see the casket taken out of the hearse. I couldn't afford the airfare to get to my dads funeral but he was Jewish so it was a bit bleak
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