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  #281  
Old 19-07-2019, 07:36 AM
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Telling her she has to consult you sounds an improvement, but if that carries no imperative to take on board your opinion then this could add up to very little.

Sorry to hear this outcome. Be proud of how you’ve conducted yourself. Personally I wouldn’t appeal unless you have new information or good grounds.....if ‘the system’ is against you it might be better to take care of your own mental health etc.

Maybe save your energy for when this period of guardianship expires in 4 years and try again then?
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  #282  
Old 19-07-2019, 07:39 AM
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Sorry mate. I guess all you can do is be there for your kid and continue to clearly be the good father you are.
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  #283  
Old 19-07-2019, 10:20 AM
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So sorry, Carey.

I'm inclined to agree with Yoda - it also sounds like there's a fair chance she'll cock things up within the four years. But whatever you decide, best of luck - and what Stav said.
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  #284  
Old 19-07-2019, 11:36 PM
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Sorry to hear this, just keep on being a good Dad x
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  #285  
Old 20-07-2019, 12:29 AM
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The system is the system is the system and the system operators always want paying for playing.

Am very sorry to hear this. I wish I could give some meaningful help or consolation, I can't but like everybody else on here we feel for you and know you have done as much as anyone could do.
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  #286  
Old 20-07-2019, 12:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoda View Post
Telling her she has to consult you sounds an improvement, but if that carries no imperative to take on board your opinion then this could add up to very little.

Sorry to hear this outcome. Be proud of how you’ve conducted yourself. Personally I wouldn’t appeal unless you have new information or good grounds.....if ‘the system’ is against you it might be better to take care of your own mental health etc.

Maybe save your energy for when this period of guardianship expires in 4 years and try again then?
This sounds like good advice and sentiments to me - well said Yoda.

The fact the sheriff wants to revisit this in 4 years tells me he is not convinced, and is hedging his bets so to speak.

I suspect the Mother will always have the inside track, wrong or right. Exiled should be proud of the case he put forward, and did not give in without a fight, but as Yoda eludes to... revisit the situation in 4 years, and continue to be a good Dad to your son. Don't give your wife/ex-wife ammunition to hurt you in in 4 years time. It's her position to **** up.
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  #287  
Old 22-07-2019, 10:58 AM
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Obviously this has been quite emotional for me, so it has taken a few days for me to get a sense of perspective.

On Friday I made initial enquiries re mounting an appeal and it was apparent that justification could present a problem for me however as I am strongly of the opinion that the ruling was unjust I would continue to pursue appealing it.

However further reflection and the sound advice I have received from a fellow BBSer has led me to decide to drop thoughts of appealing, accepting the reasons why the Sheriff has arrived at the decision despite disagreeing with him!!

I will now enquire of my ex wife as to how she intends to comply with the court ruling that she should consult and share information with me.

Thank you to all who have offered kind words, support and sage advice on this thread. It has meant a lot to me.
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  #288  
Old 22-07-2019, 08:59 PM
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Good luck mate, you are doing well.
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  #289  
Old 22-07-2019, 10:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ExiledStirling View Post
Obviously this has been quite emotional for me, so it has taken a few days for me to get a sense of perspective.

On Friday I made initial enquiries re mounting an appeal and it was apparent that justification could present a problem for me however as I am strongly of the opinion that the ruling was unjust I would continue to pursue appealing it.

However further reflection and the sound advice I have received from a fellow BBSer has led me to decide to drop thoughts of appealing, accepting the reasons why the Sheriff has arrived at the decision despite disagreeing with him!!

I will now enquire of my ex wife as to how she intends to comply with the court ruling that she should consult and share information with me.

Thank you to all who have offered kind words, support and sage advice on this thread. It has meant a lot to me.
As difficult as it must have been to accept, I'm inclined to agree that you've come to the right conclusion. Concentrate on the instructions the Sheriff has given your wife and document every interaction you have with her (or otherwise). From what you've told us, it's quite possible (probable?) that she will look to revert to type and with any luck, this will provide you with the ammunition you need to go back to court and achieve what you want.

Good luck!
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  #290  
Old 23-07-2019, 09:58 AM
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So sorry to read this ES. Really was hoping for a better result, as I'm sure you were.

I don't understand why the courts are so prejudiced against fathers.
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  #291  
Old 23-07-2019, 11:02 AM
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So sorry to read this ES. Really was hoping for a better result, as I'm sure you were.

I don't understand why the courts are so prejudiced against fathers.
I do think that in the hearing an inbuilt degree of sexism of the type probably found in nearly all of us on a subconscious level re a mothers love set against that of a fathers could have had an influence. However it would be wrong for me to blame the outcome on this as argument presented in court could have countered any underlying sexism.

However I do feel it gave my ex wife more credibility in that she spoke as a mother and me as a father and that if the case was the same and the roles reversed it may have put a different slant on things.

My ex lied a lot and even on one particularly issue, one that to me I thought very key, the Sheriff did state in his written verdict;

''There is no doubt in my mind that Mr Galstaun was telling the truth when he said he found out about the move only when Ms Bailey gave evidence. At best, she misled the court. At worst she was untruthful'


However to the Sheriff in the grand scheme of things that this was not sufficient in itself to take guardianship away from her.

My case really lay in first showing that she was unfit as a guardian, before my own application to be my son's guardian would come into play. The Sheriff did actually state in his written verdict he felt I would have been a suitable guardian, however he felt that despite her being on warning to communicate with me better going forward she had carried out her duties as a guardian well.
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  #292  
Old 23-07-2019, 12:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ExiledStirling View Post
The Sheriff did actually state in his written verdict he felt I would have been a suitable guardian, however he felt that despite her being on warning to communicate with me better going forward she had carried out her duties as a guardian well.
Obviously I know nothing about the case that I haven't read here, but I suspect that is the key - and the key for you and your ex going forward is goodwill from both in ensuring best outcome for the child.

All the best.
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  #293  
Old 23-07-2019, 05:39 PM
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Disappointed for you about the outcome.
Full marks to you for the way that you are responding to this difficult situation.
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