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  #181  
Old 01-12-2018, 12:39 PM
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Originally Posted by ExiledStirling View Post
So are you saying you know any of the Sheriff's at where the case is being held? Because if you don't sorry to say Paul it is a strange question.
Forget it Cary. Best of luck.
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  #182  
Old 01-12-2018, 12:41 PM
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Forget it Cary. Best of luck.
Happy to.
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  #183  
Old 01-12-2018, 12:45 PM
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Happy to.
Good. Concentrate on getting better.
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  #184  
Old 22-01-2019, 12:30 PM
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Brief update.

Had procedural hearing today.

Her solicitor asked for an extension, which I had no objection to and the Sheriff granted.

Her solicitor is awaiting Queens counsel opinion re their request for my ex wife to be treated as a vulnerable witness and for the court to grant a solicitor being forced onto me, as it would if it were a criminal case (I am against this) was the main reason for asking for more time, but it is also required as they are yet to receive medical evidence to support her claims to be treated as a vulnerable witness. In addition the court ordered sometime back that I am provided with Social services records and these are yet to be presented to me.

I found it mildly amusing that her solicitor stated that the accusation that I had been both mentally and physically abusive towards my ex wife was not intended to be malicious. Anyway the accusations will be dealt with, along with other the other issues, at the next hearing on Feb 19th.

I have to assume that one day the actual proper proof hearing will get underway
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  #185  
Old 22-01-2019, 12:38 PM
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I wish you nothing but the best of luck with all of this. I hope that you get the result you're looking for, for you and your son.
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  #186  
Old 22-01-2019, 12:51 PM
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Court hearings can be stressful. I recall some years back having a heated discussion with my solicitor and my wife in front of the Magistrate for a vehicle collision.
The Magistrate told me, "If you speak again, I will rule judgement against you"
Didn't know they could do that I kept my mouth shut, and I won.

As for allegations of abuse in relationships, I know of a few solicitors who pulled that 'joker' in divorce proceedings. Shameful , if there is no documented evidence/police-doctors reports.


So Hearings with emotional ties are going to get stressful. Best leave representation to professionals, and trust your child gets the best outcome.

Last edited by foresthillbilly; 22-01-2019 at 12:55 PM.
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  #187  
Old 22-01-2019, 12:56 PM
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Good luck with this ES. As Poster above says, its not good when lawyers can make unsubstantiated allegations about you, hopefully your own lawyer will do a good job for you.
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  #188  
Old 22-01-2019, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted by ExiledStirling View Post
....I found it mildly amusing that her solicitor stated that the accusation that I had been both mentally and physically abusive towards my ex wife was not intended to be malicious. ....
The solicitor is merely trying to muddy the waters, paint you in the worst possible terms, accuse you of domestic abuse and generally tarnish your character. So yeah, it's nothing personal.
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  #189  
Old 22-01-2019, 01:13 PM
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Brief update.

Had procedural hearing today.

Her solicitor asked for an extension, which I had no objection to and the Sheriff granted.

Her solicitor is awaiting Queens counsel opinion re their request for my ex wife to be treated as a vulnerable witness and for the court to grant a solicitor being forced onto me, as it would if it were a criminal case (I am against this) was the main reason for asking for more time, but it is also required as they are yet to receive medical evidence to support her claims to be treated as a vulnerable witness. In addition the court ordered sometime back that I am provided with Social services records and these are yet to be presented to me.

I found it mildly amusing that her solicitor stated that the accusation that I had been both mentally and physically abusive towards my ex wife was not intended to be malicious. Anyway the accusations will be dealt with, along with other the other issues, at the next hearing on Feb 19th.

I have to assume that one day the actual proper proof hearing will get underway
Good luck with this. Did you stay calm in the face of the malicious allegation?

The silver lining is that these repeated hearings are good practice for the real thing, I hope you are beginning to feel comfortable in your own skin in court. They can be intimidating venues particularly when there is much at stake.

As I said before the two bits of advice I can give. Is

1) apologise to the Judge in advance that you are representing yourself and ask that they help you if you are straying from procedure, but also state that on the positive side you know the situation better than anyone and will try and explain as best as possible for the benefit of all parties. After all at the end of the day I just want what is the best for my son, which is also the aim of the court.

2) Split yourself into two. One is ES the other is the representative of ES. the real ES has to be the heart of the case but the representative ES has to be a detached and cool mind. The opposing solicitor will try and wind you up, don't bite.
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  #190  
Old 22-01-2019, 01:29 PM
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Originally Posted by ebyeeckeagle View Post
The solicitor is merely trying to muddy the waters, paint you in the worst possible terms, accuse you of domestic abuse and generally tarnish your character. So yeah, it's nothing personal.
Her solicitor is doing her job and she told me that she has made the claim based on a conversation(s) she had with my ex wife.
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  #191  
Old 22-01-2019, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by adrenalin john View Post
Good luck with this. Did you stay calm in the face of the malicious allegation?

The silver lining is that these repeated hearings are good practice for the real thing, I hope you are beginning to feel comfortable in your own skin in court. They can be intimidating venues particularly when there is much at stake.

As I said before the two bits of advice I can give. Is

1) apologise to the Judge in advance that you are representing yourself and ask that they help you if you are straying from procedure, but also state that on the positive side you know the situation better than anyone and will try and explain as best as possible for the benefit of all parties. After all at the end of the day I just want what is the best for my son, which is also the aim of the court.

2) Split yourself into two. One is ES the other is the representative of ES. the real ES has to be the heart of the case but the representative ES has to be a detached and cool mind. The opposing solicitor will try and wind you up, don't bite.
I did AJ and yes I am becoming far more comfortable standing up in court and most importantly more patient and respectful of the process.

My ex wife was not present today (no reason for her to be seeing as it was a procedural hearing) but for the first time her solicitor actually spoke with me prior to us going into court and explained that she was asking for more time and the reasons why and asked me if I had any objections. I told her that I did not. We discussed the allegations my ex wife has made and this is when she said it was not meant maliciously. i did explain that seeing as it was a total lie it was nothing but malicious. However the discussion was cordial and polite with an understanding that we were both doing what we needed to to represent our side of the case. Though in court, her solicitor did stumble over using the words 'not mailcious' when addressing the Sheriff expecting me to complain or express my disapproval. I just let it go, though did ask the Sheriff if it was at this hearing or the one in Feb that I could challenge the claims. It will the one in Feb (the Sherisff siting today was unaware of her request

Good advice re point 1 AJ.

You are spot on re point 2. Infact when I spoke with her solicitor and the court appointed safeguarder for a good while after the hearing I made this point to them, that as I was representing myself I was able to keep a cooler head re the allegations that have been made against me.

Cheers for taking the time. Appreciated.
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  #192  
Old 22-01-2019, 02:06 PM
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Good luck with this. Did you stay calm in the face of the malicious allegation?

The silver lining is that these repeated hearings are good practice for the real thing, I hope you are beginning to feel comfortable in your own skin in court. They can be intimidating venues particularly when there is much at stake.

As I said before the two bits of advice I can give. Is

1) apologise to the Judge in advance that you are representing yourself and ask that they help you if you are straying from procedure, but also state that on the positive side you know the situation better than anyone and will try and explain as best as possible for the benefit of all parties. After all at the end of the day I just want what is the best for my son, which is also the aim of the court.

2) Split yourself into two. One is ES the other is the representative of ES. the real ES has to be the heart of the case but the representative ES has to be a detached and cool mind. The opposing solicitor will try and wind you up, don't bite.
That sounds like excellent advice to me.

Also, the court/Sheriff must hear unsubstantiated allegations from ex-partners all day every day. They’re probably surprised when a partner who is desperate to win doesn’t make such an accusation!

Keep cool and repeat that you’ve gone through years of this procedure purely because you want what’s best for your son, so there’s no need for her to invent stuff and make it about her. It should be about your son and his needs.
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  #193  
Old 19-02-2019, 11:49 AM
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Had the procedural hearing today.

I finally was provided with the social services data I had requested, but the requested (by her solicitor) Queen's counsel's advice re whether the court appoint a solicitor to represent me, as can be done in a criminal case has been delayed and the medical report on my ex wife to back up her request to be treated as a vulnerable witness has also been delayed.

The Sheriff determined that as the original guardianship application was almost a year ago, things had to proceed to the proof hearing so set the next available date which unfortunately is June 14th. A pre proof hearing on the 14th May will determine what special measures, if any that will apply at the proof hearing (If my ex wife is to be considered a vulnerable witness and how it will be handled). It will also be determined whether the court appoint a solicitor to represent me.

Her solicitor was not present, so another solicitor from the practice was at court. Before the hearing he cheekily and pointedly asked me if I was going to see this through to the bitter end. When I confirmed to him very firmly I was he decided to go quiet on me!!

I am a different person re controlling my emotions than I was when this all started, which I am very pleased about. I have someone on this board, who will remain anonymous, to entirely thank for it. Without their sage advice I would not be in the place I am in now, particularly when my ex wife accused me of both physical and mental abuse, which initially hit me very hard on an emotional level. I ended up in hospital, 3 days after getting the news, with acute appendicitis, so without knowing for certain it may have been a contributory factor.
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  #194  
Old 19-02-2019, 12:25 PM
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I have no useful advice, but good luck and stay strong
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  #195  
Old 20-02-2019, 05:21 AM
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Hang on, are they trying to force a solicitor on you so you can't represent yourself? Whats that all about?
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  #196  
Old 20-02-2019, 08:53 AM
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Hang on, are they trying to force a solicitor on you so you can't represent yourself? Whats that all about?
Yes it is exactly what they are trying to do.

I believe the only reason they are doing it is to try and stop me cross examining my ex wife. It is a two pronged attack, as if they fail in their attempt to have the court appoint a solicitor to represent me, they have gone down the route of trying to have my wife treated as a vulnerable witness by the court. It is why the lie of me physically and mentally abusing her has been used.

I should point out the last time I lived with her was 17 years ago and the fact that she was happy to sit feet away from me a few months back in an hour an half meeting while we discussed the possibility of joint guardianship.

The Sheriff did state that as this has gone on long enough amd things would now proceed as normal unless anything is submitted to the court that he can change this (which will be the QC advice and her medical report).
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  #197  
Old 20-02-2019, 08:57 PM
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Yes it is exactly what they are trying to do.

I believe the only reason they are doing it is to try and stop me cross examining my ex wife. It is a two pronged attack, as if they fail in their attempt to have the court appoint a solicitor to represent me, they have gone down the route of trying to have my wife treated as a vulnerable witness by the court. It is why the lie of me physically and mentally abusing her has been used.

I should point out the last time I lived with her was 17 years ago and the fact that she was happy to sit feet away from me a few months back in an hour an half meeting while we discussed the possibility of joint guardianship.

The Sheriff did state that as this has gone on long enough amd things would now proceed as normal unless anything is submitted to the court that he can change this (which will be the QC advice and her medical report).
How can they force you, can't you insist on representing yourself?
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  #198  
Old 21-02-2019, 12:26 AM
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How can they force you, can't you insist on representing yourself?
I will not pretend that I know how the legal system works but my understanding is that only in criminal law can a court appoint a solicitor for a defendant even against their will. This is a civil case so the same does not apply.

It is my ex wife's solicitor who wants me to be legally represented so has sought Queen Counsel's advice on the matter. I am unsure how they arrive at their decision with regards to the parameters they use to determine the advice they offer and to what extent the Sheriff hearing the case has to take it on board and rule accordingly or whether they still have the power to reject it.

It is strange in a way that it the other side is seeking this, as my representing myself should be an advantage to them, so it may simply be an attempt to spare my ex wife from being cross examined by me.
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Old 21-02-2019, 07:55 AM
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I will not pretend that I know how the legal system works but my understanding is that only in criminal law can a court appoint a solicitor for a defendant even against their will. This is a civil case so the same does not apply.

It is my ex wife's solicitor who wants me to be legally represented so has sought Queen Counsel's advice on the matter. I am unsure how they arrive at their decision with regards to the parameters they use to determine the advice they offer and to what extent the Sheriff hearing the case has to take it on board and rule accordingly or whether they still have the power to reject it.

It is strange in a way that it the other side is seeking this, as my representing myself should be an advantage to them, so it may simply be an attempt to spare my ex wife from being cross examined by me.
All sounds a bit odd Cary. My take is that if the reason they want a solicitor to represent you is so you don’t x examine your ex, they’re worried about something. Could work to your advantage

Anyway, all the best and stay strong (and calm!)
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Old 21-02-2019, 08:04 AM
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Originally Posted by ExiledStirling View Post
I will not pretend that I know how the legal system works but my understanding is that only in criminal law can a court appoint a solicitor for a defendant even against their will. This is a civil case so the same does not apply.

It is my ex wife's solicitor who wants me to be legally represented so has sought Queen Counsel's advice on the matter. I am unsure how they arrive at their decision with regards to the parameters they use to determine the advice they offer and to what extent the Sheriff hearing the case has to take it on board and rule accordingly or whether they still have the power to reject it.

It is strange in a way that it the other side is seeking this, as my representing myself should be an advantage to them, so it may simply be an attempt to spare my ex wife from being cross examined by me.
I expect the other solicitor is afraid that if you are not properly represented this could later give rise to appeal.
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